a Page 7847 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The EPL Season Ends ... And Look Who Called It!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

The Spurs Are Still Hanging Around
Show me your Jazz hands. Chris Paul is clearly screwing up Deron Williams' endorsement deals. If the Hornets' point guard didn't exist, everyone would write love letters to Williams and and name their pets after him. Even thoug, Williams dropped 29 points, 14 assists and three boards as the Jazz tie...

Pink Bats, Red Faces; This One's For You, Mom
Here we go, writing about breasts again. Mother's Day was Sunday, and you know what that means: The pink bats were back. And while that's good for the fight against breast cancer, it was bad for the Cincinnati Reds, who just seemed to be horribly disoriented by the unfamiliar flashing colors. I supp...

Happy Belated Mother's Day
The NHL Closer is written by five momma's boys at Melt Your Face Off. We know that our mothers are beautiful women, but LeFawn puts them to shame....

About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that making fun of names is just too easy sometimes ... • NBA: It's Pau Gasol who's been carrying the Lakers all season, so why is it Kobe's back that hurts? Jazz 123, Lakers 115, OT. • MLB: Big Hurt ties Cal Ripken in all-time RBI; Athletics rough up Rangers. • Colle...

Sexy Olympian Has Sexy Performance
Now that Mother's Day is drawing to a close, we can get back to objectifying women. Just funnin'. I'm only interested in Rich Garces' tits. Or, failing that, Bobby Jenks'. Yesterday, noted attractive Olympian and tattoo enthusiast Nathasha Kai put on quite the show, scoring three goals in the U.S....

Douchetastic USC Walk-On Video Is Neuheisel's Gain
In what's already been something of a frustrating day for Southern California, a story gaining traction is that UCLA football coach Rick Neuheisel has been using the above video as a way to convince recruits to stear clear of USC, presumably because Brennan Carroll, the son of head coach Pete Carrol...

Tony Dungy Has A Short Memory
Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy spoke with kids at a high school in Tampa on Thursday and apparently he was in a mood to foment him some controversy. And not in the usual "condemning o' the gays" way. Nope. He took a shot at the rival New England Patriots being embroiled in MattWalshGate. Nothin...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing you had Dumbo's mom......

OSU Lacrosse Goalie Makes Sport Watchable, If Briefly
I grew up in Maryland, where lacrosse is the official team sport (The official individual sport? Jousting. Yes, Maryland is retarded. I'm sure they'll change the team sport to Quidditch before the decade is out). There, lacrosse is all the rage with white guys and the rare black dude who listens to...

Hannah Storm To Weather SportsCenter Circus
Hannah Storm may have the name of a pro wrestler, but she's a serious germalist. She was the first full-time female sports anchor at CNN and a prominent figure at NBC Sports for a decade before jumping to CBS to host the CBS Early Show. She also told us about injuries in Madden '96, so she's got tha...

Drinking Helmet Enhances Signs, Eases Their Display
The drinking helmet is not only a good sign complement. It's a must. [The Sports Hernia]...

John Harbaugh Runs A Tight Ship
This is the first year the Ravens have held minicamp in 10 years without choking on the fumes of Brian Billick's smug. One thing remains unchanged: the complete disorder. It just wouldn't be the Ravens without it. Nearly all of the 85 players in camp were involved in a brawl yesterday that started ...

Wizards Players Following Through On Their Boycott Of <i>Love</i>
That may not actually be true, but the Wizards players swore they'd never go to Love, the club that played Jay-Z's diss track against DeShawn Stevenson, ever again. And for one night at least, that held true. Stet Sports Blog has the video of Caron Butler and DeShawn Stevenson partying it up at Ibiz...

An Indian Offensive 'SPLOSION!
The Cavs victory wasn't the only thing Mistake by the Lakers celebrated yesterday while eagerly awaiting their next 23-cent pizza day. Grady Sizemore homered twice and drove in five runs to propel the Tribe to a 12-0 throttling of the Blue Jays. It's enough to get Indians fans off their ice cream he...

O.J. Mayo Reportedly Accepted Gifts And Cash In High School And At USC
The WWL is all over its report this morning on "Outside the Lines" featuring the claim from a former associate of NBA prospect O.J. Mayo that the player accepted $30,000 in cash and gifts over the last four years from a Los Angeles-based event promoter....

Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End
While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the en...

KG's Jedi Mind Tricks Don't Work In Cleveland
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who suggests that you see Iron Man immediately if you haven't already seen it. And if you have seen it, see it again. When he's not marketing major motion pictures for free, he can be found playing cards with Bigfoot at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

About Last Night...
What you missed while being reminded not to feed the Ape......

The Happiest Place On Earth, After Mom's Favorite Antique Store
For the last post before Mother's Day, it would only be appropriate to feature the professional athlete who's the closest to his mother. That would be Super Bowl MVP Buster Bluth Eli Manning, who finally took his requisite parade float down Main Street of Disneyland on Wednesday after missing it in ...