a Page 7847 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Paul Shirley To Haiti: Go Help Yourself (UPDATE)
Onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters Paul Shirley has published his thoughts on the stricken Haitian people. Namely, that they put themselves in this mess, so he's not about to help. This may not end well....

Charlie Davies's Mutant Healing Factor, Cont'd
Charlie Davies, having survived a car accident that required doctors to peel off his face, is not only training again but, as a reader reports, he's playing $5/$10 no-limit hold 'em well into the whiskey hours. I like this guy....

NFL Scouts Detect Two Large Flaws In Terrence Cody's Game
My God. Look at that photo. That's 370 pounds of nose tackle, coming to a 3-4 near you. [SI.com]...

NEW CLASS TAIL! Your Open Mailbag Tuesday
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering lifetime stats, new class tail, shitting the rainbow, poop chicken, and more....

Just In Case There Was Any Doubt That It Was Greg Oden's Penis
The formal letters from Oden's management, BDA, have invaded the inboxes of websites across the country, including (surprise) ours. The letter is attached below. It is safe for work....

Confused Sports Radio Guy Thinks That I, Napkin Gladwell, Photographed Venus Williams's "Goods"
Look here, Rob Buska, whoever you are. I am Napkin Gladwell, journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. I am not a photographer. I am not in Australia. And I was certainly not "snapping" Venus Williams's "goods."...

Athlete Dong: <em>Omnium-Gatherum</em> And Critical Analysis
Poor Greg Oden — his penis made him an unfortunate rising Google-trender. Of course, Oden isn't the first athlete to have his privates posted online. The Awl's Choire Sicha, Deadspin House Gay, provides commentary on sport's many peacocks....

Angry Indy Cops vs. Drunk Jets Fan: The Video
Video of the "tasered" Jets fan has finally surfaced, and I don't want to spoil it for you, but it looks like at least one Indianapolis police officer is living life on a very thin edge....

Why Video Gamers Read Zone Blitzes Better Than JaMarcus Russell
Theory: Today's NFL rookies are way smarter about football than previous generations because they were raised on Madden games. Conclusion: Lock your kid in his room with a PS3 and a P90X and starting booking your retirement today. [Wired]...

Greg Oden's Gigantic Penis Is Also Healing Nicely
GOOD LORD. What the hell's gotten into Greg Oden? First he's spotted in a bright orange novelty T-shirt and now, he's one of the many too-proud athletes to snap a naked photo of himself in the bathroom. ABSOLUTELYNSFWORYOURMASCULINITYAFTERTHEJUMP....

Tim Layden Bids Farewell To Brett Favre With Some Sexy Slash Fiction
There are two noble conventions of football journalism that will fall by the wayside should Brett Favre elect to sit his old ass down for good. The first is of the Werder-Mortensen "Sources: Favre eats soup" variety. And the second?...

Oregon "Hoodrats" Accused Of Stealing From Frat Members
There's trouble a-brewin' in Eugene as two Oregon football players have been accused of stealing computers from a fraternity. It's a classic campus sports crime story with a neat little dash of racial strife....

Last Night's Winner: People Who Don't Play Football
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like athletes who are suddenly going to get a lot more attention now that football season is drawing to a close. You've heard of "sports," right?...

Rock Chalk Fée Frock (UPDATE)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Greg Oden's Knee Is Healing Nicely
I just realized that the headline implies he used his knee to have sex with a woman, but I assure you that's not what I meant. [The Big Lead]...

Adrian Peterson's Fumbles Caused By French Fry Grease?
An anonymous reader sent us this very interesting photo of Adrian Peterson eating what appears to be a very slippery lunch of seafood and chips....just hours before he dropped the football three times in Sunday's NFC Championship game....

It Appears Everyone Can Now Make Half-Court Shots At Olathe Northwest's Gym
Okay — this is officially insane. FOX4 went back to do a follow-up story about Joel Branstrom's blind-folded half-court shot. Reporter Rob Low, just shooting a teaser for the spot, tried one of his own (backwards)...and also made it....

Charlie Davies Has A Mutant Healing Factor, Gnarliest Scar Ever
U.S. striker Charlie Davies is not only jogging again but talking seriously about playing in the World Cup, an incredible bit of news when you remember that, four months ago, he was in a single-car accident that looked like this....

A More Visceral, Profane Reaction To Favre's Interception
One Favre-jersey wearer, shows us what it's like to go into apoplectic shock, while his poor daughter just yelps. I get the sense he kicked something hard once the game mercifully ended. [TheScore]...

A Video Treasury Of Brett Favre's Season-Ending Interceptions (UPDATE)
Brett Favre has now thrown an interception in his last significant pass of the last game of the last three seasons. Let's look back at the ol' gunslinger fearlessly doing the thing that makes Tom Jackson admire him so....