a Page 7855 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goose Gossage Has Had Enough Of Your Tomfoolery
I guess we're somewhat removed from the era in which Rich "Goose" Gossage dominated baseball; well, when he dominated the final three innings of it, anyway. The closer really hadn't been perfected until Gossage came along, and the game hasn't been the same since. Although the Hall of Famer spent jus...
Jim Edmonds To The Cubs? Nooooooooooo!
Through it all, through all the hamboning and declining skills, we Cardinals fans have always loved Jim Edmonds. How do you not love a guy who has tattoos of both Darryl Kile and Josh Hancock? But man, if he signs with the Cubs, as has been heavily rumored, we might have a problem....
And Toward Me He Charged: Charles Haley's Bananas
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
Have Some Porkchops, Gentlemen
• How to make Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry run. [Basketball Nonsense] • Favre in a box! [Pittsburgh Sports And Mini Ponies] • Can you really call Kevin Garnett clutch right now? [Waiting For Next Year] • Which teams are for real? Yes to the Rays and Cardinals, no to the Twins, A's and Marlins. [The ...
Once Again, Celtics Fans, It's Time To Panic
So, here we go again with the Celtics fans freakouts. The Hawks series, which unfathomably went seven games, never really felt in doubt, but this Cavs series is starting to look like serious trouble. Forget those historical comparisons; what would happen to Kevin Garnett's legacy if the Celtics didn...
Media Approval Ratings: Emmitt Smith
We're not sure if Emmitt Smith is going to lose any face time on ESPN now that Cris Carter is hanging around ... but we have our suspicions. Heck, they didn't even let Emmitt be a part of the draft coverage....
Terrell Owens Might Have A Future In This Film Business
So, remember that Terrell Owens porn film cameo that had everyone up in arms? Owens' representatives desperately tried to make everyone take it down — us included — and did all they could to sweep it under the rug. But is Owens more involved with the porn world than we thought? A recent interview wi...
ESPN Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Ah, The Cultural Rewards Of Major League Baseball
The life of a Japanese player, when assimilated into a Major League Baseball clubhouse, can be difficult. You have to learn parts of other languages, deal with cultural differences you hadn't anticipated and, mostly, deal with the odd duck that is Jonathan Papelbon....
Here Come The Red Wings ... Duck!
The NHL Closer is written by the Five Horsemen of the Apuckalypse from Melt Your Face Off. When not poring over the Book of Revelation for clues as to how to finally take out Gary Bettman, they can be found discovering new and inventive ways to commit blasphemy, blog-style. Weed Against Speed takes ...
Zero To Three In Six Seconds
Somewhere, Neal Ball and Bill Wambsganss are smiling (which is creepy, because they're dead). They finally get to welcome another member into the Cleveland Unassisted Triple Play Club, as Asdrubal Cabrera made the magic happen on Monday night against the Blue Jays. It was the 14th unassisted triple ...
LeBron's Mother Is Not Someone With Whom You Should Trifle
Last night's Celtics-Cavaliers Game 4 tilt will be remembered for two things: First, LeBron James' ridiculous, "you know, I could do this all the time if I really wanted" driving dunk, and, mostly, James' mother yapping at the Celtics who were wrapping her poor boy, and James responding with a subtl...
Celtics Shown Up By LeBron, Punked By LeBron's Mom
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to think Tuesday is the new Monday. When he's not wishing he was still chillin' in bed, he can be found rubbing his chin in a thoughtful way at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
What you missed while leaping onto the Bob Barr Presidential bandwagon ... • NBA: Why Don't We Do It On The Road ... Celtics lose again in Cleveland, evening series 2-all. • MLB: Nick Adenhart gets his first major league victory, then is promptly sent to the minors. Angels 10, White Sox 7. • NHL: Oh...
Jeopardy! Attempts To Both Humanize And Humiliate Matt Leinart
This question was featured last week as part of Jeopardy!'s "College Championship" week. Does this mean that the photo of Matt Leinart beer-bonging his way to infamy has reached a certain level of news relevancy?...
To Watch Tonight
What you missed while riding the giant NSFW mechanical bucking penis ... • Arena Football: Philadelphia at Georgia (8 p.m., ET). Welcome to Duluth, bitches. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Minnesota (7 p.m., ET). Come see a sporting event in the only building named after a man named Hubert. [ESPN] • NBA: E...
Soccer. Balls.
For those lukewarm soccer enthusiasts who contend that more public nudity would greatly improve Europe's favorite foot-oriented sporting event, this is somewhat fantastic news. Recently, "more than 1,800 men and women have posed nude for US photographer Spencer Tunick in Vienna's Ernst Happel stadi...
O.J. Mayo's Not The Sharpest Trojan In The Jar
This whole O.J. Mayo affair is probably not surprising to anybody who has a healthy does of skepticism about heavily recruited college basketball players' long-term goals and their abilities to make sound life decisions. As soon as Mayo signed onto USC, it was pretty clear that this kid decided Sout...
Look Out, Kids: Here Come The Devil Rays
For the first time in franchise history, the Devil Rays are five games over .500. They've won four in a row, and they have the opportunity to make a huge splash with a four-game set at home against the Yankees this week. (Before heading to Busch for three with our Cards; the Cardinals vs. the Rays ...
Cruel To Be Kind
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....