a Page 7872 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Playoffs Will Bend Your Wookie
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
The Playoff Hunt Continu ... Mmm, Nuggets Dancers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who wishes he could rest his starters for the rest of the regular season. When he's not trying to find some starters to rest, you can find him playing with creepy bobbleheads at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Peja Stojakovic is totally clutchtastic. His former Sacram...
Pedro Hears A Pop
You didn't think Mets fans were going to stay happy and optimistic about the season very long, did you? Pedro Martinez pulled/tore/yoinked his hamstring/tendon/groin/anal fissure and very well might miss a few weeks. As if just to rub it in, new reliever Matt Wise gave up a walk-off homer to Robert ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while being mocked for wearing a Jeff Weaver jersey ... • Yankees win final home opener of old, decaying, imposing corporate edifice. • Tennessee, Connecticut advance to women's Final Four. Their coaches have now decided to be best friends. • Peja, baby! Hornets stay atop Western Con...
Matt Leinart Should Just Grow Up Already
... So says annoyed Arizona Republic columnist Dan Bickley, who suggests that the Cardinals' quarterback of the present (and, "the future", allegedly) is just dancing a little bit too closely with Mr. Poonstone for his own taste. Bickley trots out every worst-case scenario Leinart should have consi...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while listening to The Sword bring much rock. All will fall! • Women's NCAA Elite Eight: Tennessee vs. Texas A&M, Connecticut vs. Rutgers. Winning teams get free trip to Bristol ... and sanctions! ESPN 7 p.m. • NIT Semifinals, Madison Square Garden: Florida vs. Massachusetts, Mississip...
Pat Jordan, Canseco "Square Off" On Howard Stern
This morning, on The Howard Stern Show (a.k.a., the show you used to listen to all the time until either: a) he left for satellite radio, which you don't get; or b) he got divorced from his wife, draining the show of its subtle, mostly hidden pathos), Jose Canseco was a guest. And Pat Jordan, author...
The Deer Penis Diaries
Bad news for chronic deer penis ingesters planning on participating in the Beijing Olympics — you'll have to find something else to help you win a gold medal this year. Yes, deer penis and all sorts of other crazy Chinese voodoo medicines have officially been put on the no-no list by the Beijing IOC...
Roy Williams' Cute Attempt At A Freakout, Remembered
With the North Carolina-Kansas game just a few days away, we remind you of truly one of our favorite college basketball interview moments of all time....
The Tao Of Fred Ex
For those of you saw the sleazy, magazine-licking photos of George Clooney's girlfriend Sarah Larson circulating around the web over the last few days, you may have noticed this picture of former Eagles wideout (and substitute teacher) Freddie Mitchell randomly popping up.in the photo book from that...
Eric Gagne, A Still Life
Perhaps our favorite ridiculous conspiracy theory about the Mitchell Report was that Sen. Mitchell, a Red Sox fan, was somehow attempting to stack the deck by ignoring potential Red Sox juicers. Not just that, but he happened to nail the one guy Sox fans hated the most at the time: Eric Gagne. Well,...
She Has Yadier's Ass and Bengie's Hips
Are you a moderately attractive female baseball fan who loves her pink jersey, but dreams of a newer, sluttier look for your drunken summer afternoons in the bleachers? If so, then you should probably send me pictures of yourself in various stages of undress take note of Joe Sports Fan's rather bod...
Obviously, Tom Gordon Didn't Get His Balls Blessed
Yesterday morning, right in front of the Mike Schmidt statue at Citizens Bank Park, the Philadelphia Phillies had their balls blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a pastor with the hopes of giving 2007's team to beat an extra boost of godliness to kick off 2008. Well, God was napping yesterday, as the P...
Congratulations, Sigh, To Bill Self
In the midst of all the sadness about Davidson coming up just short on Saturday, we didn't get a chance to, begrudgingly, congratulate Bill Self and his toupee on their first trip to the Final Four....
Meet The Future Mrs. Andy Roddick
This little lassie just got herself engaged to Andy Roddick (the one on the left.) Her name is Brooklyn Decker, a 20-year-old Sports Illustrated swimsuit exhibitionist, who's been dating Mr. Roddick for a little over a year now. Decker and the former Mr. Mandy Moore met in New York last year, where ...
Hugh Douglas Wants To Kill Me
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...
Who Owns WHIP? We May Find Out Soon
• They're still trying to figure out who owns fantasy baseball statistics. [Personal Injury Attorney Blog] • Somebody's predictions are gonna be WAY off. [Vegas Watch] • A dissenting voice on the new Nationals stadium. [The Edge Of Sports] • A UCLA guy unfairly (and amusingly) goes after John Calipa...
Which Golden Boy Will Get Wooden?
Storming The Floor looks at the Wooden Award ... if they dare!...
Media Approval Ratings: John Buccigross
We've noticed an awful lot of John Buccigross on "SportsCenter" lately, and that's probably a testament to his abilities to maneuver over there. He somehow escaped hockey jail....