a Page 7926 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wait A Minute, Wait A Minute ... Stop The Execution!
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
ESPN Reacts To Berman Videos, Takes Them Down Off YouTube. But Worry Not.
Yesterday, in another example of their increasing inability to ignore stories that come out about them online, ESPN released a statement about all those Berman videos. They made it clear the Chris Berman from the videos is not the Chris Berman you all know and love....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings
So, here's pretty much what you've missed in the Roger Clemens testimony so far: • Clemens said the conversation in which Andy Pettitte claims Clemens admitted to steroid use was actually about "a TV show in which three older people said they'd used HGH and improved their quality of life." Oh, so...
If You Kids Scuff That Floor, Tuition Shall Be Raised
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....
NBA Closer: The Dr. Cox Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks most people are bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. When he's not busy hating the whole goddamn world, he can be found discussing the best of the worst of professional basketball at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Sweetheart, I find it...
Roger Clemens' Supposed, Alleged Day Of Reckoning
As you know, we've had a hard time getting ourselves worked up about the Clemens-in-front-of-Congress hype; someone's telling the truth, someone's lying, and what it has to do at all with the steroid "problem" is beyond our comprehension. But hey: It's possible that Roger Clemens' entire reputation...
Brady Quinn Attacks His Only Fans Left
Remember that famous "Saturday Night Live" sketch, in which William Shatner famous told Trekkies to "get a life, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show?" Even though it was just a sketch, it took him years to make it up to his rabid and most loyal supporters. We suspect Brady Quinn, in a much le...
About Last Night
What you missed while reminding people once again that it's pronounced "Fronkensteen" ... • College basketball: The last time Kentucky lost this badly, ALF and Growing Pains were hit TV series. • College women's basketball: Petition To Investigate The Final 1.3 Seconds Of The Rutgers-Tennessee Game....
The Westminster Dog Show: Bitches, Man, Bitches
Starting yesterday and concluding today, the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden features the finest athletic specimens at MSG since ... well, since the last Dog Show. We don't consider competitive dog preening a sport, but we do find it funny, and we think Best In Show is one of the funn...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your free pancakes ... • College basketball: Michigan State at Purdue (7 p.m., ET); Kentucky at Vanderbilt (9 p.m., ET). Please give a big Memorial Gym welcome to the Commodores! [ESPN] • College basketball: North Carolina at Virginia (8 p.m., ET). Game too close to call, ...
In Which The SI Swimsuit Edition Struggles (Again) To Stay Relevant
The 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition is out, folks; gaze upon its wonders. And in other news, there's still a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. What year is this again? Aren't naked women on the Internet now? At any rate, our aquatic, clothing-challenged model is Marissa Miller, making he...
Roger Clemens Vs. Congress ... Quien Es Mas Macho?
We find it difficult to work ourselves up about this Roger Clemens Congress business. We think it's because the purpose of this has all been so lost. Remember, these Congressional "trials" were meant to get to the bottom of this steroid mess, find out how we got here, for the kids! But that's not wh...
Inevitably, This Celebration Will Someday Take Place In Ohio
Don't be alarmed: He's actually a Teen Wolf baby, and will soon be doing backflips through the town square....
A Visit Back To The Old Campus
You. Yeah, you. You're sitting in class at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, drawing doodles of Ron Zook on the water skis, and you're bored. You obviously aren't like us, because, you know, you're actually in class. You can change that, though. In about an hour and a half, we're going...
Whither Sports Unfiltered With Dennis Miller?
There's nothing sadder than a big blank space where your cable show's programming schedule used to be. Exactly what fate has befallen Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller, the Versus series that made America fall in love with elephant polo references once again? It's a mystery (for some reason, Vers...