a Page 7926 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dude, You're Making Out With A Dude
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....

The Best And Worst Shows Kids Force You To Watch
I'm booting up the new Deadspin Open Mailbag post tomorrow (be a part of it by emailing me here), so I thought I'd use today to give a little sneak preview....

Dear NBC, DIE
I hate you, NBC. I hate you so very much. All I wanted to do this weekend was enjoy some football....

Lenny Dykstra's Entire Career Is Now Up For Sale
The "Flying Higher" Kid is auctioning off pretty much every piece of memorabilia from his baseball career, including his 1986 World Series ring. I didn't notice exactly when it happened, but this story has officially crossed line into "sad." [NYDN/BusinessInsider]...

Derrick Mason's Response To Keyshawn's Raven-Bashing: "You're The Bum!" (UPDATE)
Gifted trash talkers as they are, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter's insults do not always prove true. After shitting all over Baltimore's offense by calling Joe Flacco "a bum," the Ravens exploded Sunday and fired back at the analysts....

Chris Myers Compares Playing For Detroit To Dating Whoopi Goldberg
TMZ has the full quote from Myers, who tried to humorously correlate what it must be like for linebacker Larry Foote to go from the Super Bowl champion Steelers to the coldness of the D....

Brian Urlacher's Season Is Over
The Bears linebacker dislocated his wrist last night and is reportedly out for the rest of this season. Chicago's opening week just gets better and better! [Tribune]...

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Lives!
Next week brings the joyous return of Joe Buck's Cavalcade of Sporting Chit-Chat and Penis Whimsy, now with what promises to be a marked emphasis on the former over the latter, unless Joe Namath is off the wagon again....

Kyle Orton Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win more than others. Like Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who won the weekend by not losing. (For Kyle Orton, that's quite an accomplishment.)...

Finally, The Harvard Crimson Will Get Some Media Attention
ESPNBoston is live. No, the URL does not just redirect to "Sports Guy's World." [ESPNBoston]...

The Anti-Favre Debate Is Nothing But A Straw Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Everything's Cruder In Texas!
Thomas Jones is greeted with a friendly Texas welcome after arriving in Houston's end zone....

NFL Roundup: Jake The Mistake & More
Jake Delhomme's uncanny streak of failure continues. Brett Favre wins by making himself scarce. Plus more action from week one of tackle football......

Cris Collinsworth Is Sorry
Don't you hate it when someone digs up an embarrassing, decades-old video of you so the entire world can see what you were like when you were young and stupid? Cris Collinsworth sure does!...

Your NFL Open Thread
All your Brett Favre schadenfreude goes here. [NFL.com]...

Sachez Pumped Up By Acoustic Puff Music
The Jet's GQ rookie has stormed out of the gates like a man who's been possessed by the fury of bad-ass music flowing through his veins—probably something like Slayer or Pantera, right? Wrong......

UVA's Season Summed Up In Mascot Catastrophe
As if getting blown out at home by William & Mary wasn't a bad enough omen for UVA football, observe what happened before the Cavalier's second loss to TCU....

Men With Telestrators Can't Stop Drawing Dongs
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Sports Fella, Now Sponsored By Crappy Beer
Simmons' NFL picks column now features "The Miller Lite Great Call of the Week." ESPN.com's editor explains the product placement thusly: "Bill Simmons is the shiniest object we can offer." Next up: TMQ's Mercedes-Benz Anti-Semitic Rant of the Week. [Slate]...

Serena Williams Goes All Crazy-Lady On Terrified Line Judge
Serena Williams lost to Kim Clijsters tonight in the U.S. Open semi-final but it was the not-so-graceful way she exited that everyone is yapping about. You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge......