a Page 7929 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Love Means Never Having To Tolerate Your Wife's Saggy Breasts
So, the more Brian McNamee opens his mouth, it becomes less clear who's more of a horrible human being. Is it the opportunisitic "trainer" who ratted out his clients who gave him a career? Or is it Roger Clemens, so deluded by his own legacy that he's absolutely convinced himself that he did nothing...
This Doesn't Happen At Benihana
A major controversy rocked Japan (but not as hard as Loudness!) when police arrested three sumo wrestlers and their stable master for a hazing incident that resulted in the death of a teenage wrestler (Ed. note — oooof.)to death. Sumo apparently puts its prospective wrestlers through a rigorous trai...
This Seems Fitting
The Knicks have lost intern-boinking virus Stephon Marbury for the rest of the season. Marbury, who had hoped to return this year after undergoing ankle surgery to remove bone spurs, will now be relegated to hopping around by himself, most likely in a pair of cheaply made (but very affordable) sneak...
Brown And Out
The Cleveland Browns ain't lookin' so hot. [Hell, Yes Guy]...
Lunch Break With Judas Priest
Clare, get a Flyers chant going on while I'm gone....
Rock Out With Your Shuttlecock Out
Nobody knows what it's like to be Wong Choong Han: The nationally ranked shuttler is feeling a little pressure to succeed in upcoming natoinal play. Wong, in a rare moment of self-reflection, realizes that if he doesn't get his shit together before the German Open, his top-three status in the Badmin...
And The Wind Cried St. Mary's
Take that, teabaggers: St. Mary's proved its Top 25 mettle by jizz-bombing the San Francisco Fightin' Whatevertheyarecalleds, 76-51. Yusef Smith scored 15 points off the bench for St. Mary's. Eddie Sutton apparently had an accident on the sidelines and is still trying to adjust to a more provincial ...
I Puck Like A Beast, Too
No Mighty needed: Ducks over Devils, 2-1. Scott Niedermayer returned to the Jerz and promptly made a mockery of his old team. Devils fans welcomed back one of their own with a chorus of boos. Niedermayer, unfazed: "In some ways you take that as a bit of a compliment.Obviously they didn't want you to...
Fisting Kurtis Blow In The Name Of Science
Leon Powe is there to make big shots: Ray Allen is still pissed about that non-call even though the Celtics scored a last-second victory over the determined Minnesota Timberwolves, 88-86 . The Celtics prevailed and overcame the emotional uplift Kevin Garnett's presence in a suit and tie gave to the ...
Greetings, Redux
So, for those of you who weren't up at 3:15 a.m. this morning and didn't see my initial greeting being posted(timestamp said 9:15 a.m, for fuck's sake), well here we are again. Anyway, wake up sleepy heads. It's a glorious day to sit at home and watch me mess up this place with reckless abandon....
Greetings, Spinheads
It is Saturday. It is February. It is not beach volleyball weather....
And...Let's Just Get This Out Of The Way Early
Two more Chris Berman videos have been unearthed from their dusty graves....
The Night Eli Manning Became A Man
• Hey, the Giants won the Super Bowl. Really. • Poor Kevin Hart. • The last Jambaroo until next season. • How to sneak into the Giants victory parade. • Fire Joe Morgan is one-third Mose Schrute. • Patriots fans try to come to terms. • BOO, Gordon! • Take that, Tiki. • Shaq to the Suns? Amazing. • P...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after doing a little gardening ... • Boxing: Cruiserweights, Darnell "Not A Bad Guy If You Get To Know Him" Wilson vs. B.J. "Honnicut" Flores, at Dover, Del., (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, practice for Budweiser Shootout, at Daytona Beach, Fla., (4 p.m. and 6:...
Tonight's The Last West Coast Stop: Howdy, Seattle
The God Save The Fan tour hits Seattle tonight, and it's our type of event, because it's at a bar. Both the reading, and the "afterparty." Both involving booze. Sounds good....
"Fun" In The "Sun" At The NFL Pro Bowl
The sports world has no greater spectacle than the Pro Bowl. Therefore, we dispatched Zach Everson to write about the Pro Bowl for us. He's out in Hawaii. Jerk. Here's his first dispatch; he'll file again for Monday....
Could Yahoo! Sports Get Folded Into ESPN?
Like many of you, we've been using Yahoo! Fantasy Sports Games for years; about a decade, actually. It's free, it's easy to navigate, it remembers all your past leagues and it's generally on the good side of the force. Unfortunately, with the news that Microsoft may be trying to buy Yahoo!, there's ...
Suddenly My High School Years Look Sad And Lackluster
OK, the intern staff here at Deadspin labored for hours trying to find a sports connection to this story, and came up empty (all have been fired). Nonetheless, here is is, because it contains perhaps the greatest sentence ever seen in a news item in the English language. There is more hilarity eac...