a Page 7944 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Former ML'er A Texas-Sized Deadbeat Dad
Troy Neel, who bought an island in fricking Vanuatu to avoid paying his state-record $700,000 in child support, was sentenced today. That's twice as much as he earned in his three years in MLB. [San Antonio Express-News]...
Horse Racing At The Airport? Don't Say Neigh Just Yet
Miami's airport wants slot machines, but it's not legal unless there's horse racing on the premises. Hey, there's a lot of open space in the parking lot......
Phil Mickelson Is Just Looking To Maintain His Physique
Hefty Lefty is in talks to purchase 105 Waffle House restaurants. I realize "restaurant" is a generous choice of words, but the All-Star Special breakfast is a dearer prize than the Green Jacket. [Bloomberg]...
Bingo The Bumbling Bee Bashes His Bee Balls
That's life for the Double-A Mets. First the VP of player development goes Fight Club on them. Now their tinpot mascot crotches itself during a failed home run celebration....
Mark Buehrle Didn't Pitch Much Out Of The Stretch Today
Isn't it nice to have an actual sports story to cover? After the jump, we'll break down Mark Buehrle's perfect game in pictures, numbers, and ritual sacrifices....
That's 28 Games In Dog Years
ESPN gets back to doing what they do best: breaking news. Michael Vick will reportedly be suspended for the first four games of 2009. [ESPN]...
And Then A Not-So-Mighty Dong Appeared...
Unfortunately named Georgia Bulldogs quarterback Joe Cox appears in a Sporting News Today spread and it appears 1. he forgot to wear a cup, and 2. the magazine forgot to airbrush out his flaccid penis showing through his pants. (NSFW?)...
It Was A Rough Week For ESPN
ESPN's newest ombudsman hasn't even started yet, but he will have plenty of fodder for his first column after a tumultuous week that has seen the entertainment and sports juggernaut besieged from all sides. (Yes, including ours.)...
The NFL Draft Goes After <i>Grey's Anatomy</i>'s Territory
The excruciatingly long NFL Draft will expand to three days in 2010, with the first round airing Thursday, the most-watched night of television. Roger Goodell against Meredith Grey, the lead in CSI and Liz Lemon? That's a dealbreaker, ladies. [PFT]...
Cop Who Arrested Henry Louis Gates Not A Racist Because He Once Put His Lips On A Dying Black Athlete
The Cambridge, Mass., cop who arrested (black) Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. is the same guy who tried to resuscitate a dying (and black) Reggie Lewis 16 years ago and is therefore in no way a racist, OK?...
The Catch That Saved Mark Buehrle's Perfect Game
DeWayne Wise—a ninth-inning defensive replacement—robs Gabe Kapler of a home run (nearly dropping the ball in the process) and saving the day for pitcher Mark Buehrle. That's what we in the business call "clutch." [Video via Comcast]...
And Now, Let's Jinx Mark Buehrle Is Unjinxable (UPDATE)
Mark Buehrle is six three outs away from a perfect in Chicago. Twenty-seven up, 27 down. With no walks, hit batsmen or errors! First perfect game in the big leagues since 2004. [Gamecast]...
Cultural Oddsmaker: What’s The Next Great Sports Media Scandal?!
Usually, mid-to-late July is the absolute worst time to be a sports fan, unless you're some baseball-loving choirboy like Leitch....
Ben Roethlisberger's Full Statement About The Sexual Assault Lawsuit
A defiant Big Ben denies "reckless" and "outrageous" allegations of sexual assault, doesn't take media questions, and says he will only address this in the "appropriate forum." (Respect the legal process! Truth prevails!) It's gonna be a long year. [WTAE/ESPN]...
LeBron Once Smoked The Reefer, Ever-Discerning ESPN Informs Us
ZOMG! LeBron James is one of 97 million Americans to have smoked marijuana! This is news! Hannah Storm just told the world! It's on the front page of ESPN.com! Right below that unfortunate business with Ben Roethlisberger!...
One Mission Tim Tebow Won't Accomplish This Year
Thanks to Clay Travis' question, it's official: Tim Tebow is saving himself for marriage! That's splendid for Sports Illustrated, which will now recycle this cover for next week's issue. See? Even journalism is no match for Tim Tebow. [FanHouse]...
What Did Jim Parque Do Wrong Again?
Former White Sox pitcher Jim Parque has a very lengthy mea culpa in the Chicago Sun-Times today, apologizing to his teammates, family, the entire sporting world, several deities, and his barber, because he took HGH for a month in 2003....
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
The Mets Shall Inherit The Earth
Courtesy of an astute Newsday reader comes a feapic of a certain Long Island church, which, apparently, is trying to poach congregants from New York sports talk radio shows. Blasphemy!...
Alex Rodriguez Learns Painful Lesson About Lending Out Your Car
A-Rod gave the keys to his Suburban to lady friend Kate Hudson and then her lady friend promptly smashed the hell out of it. Now he'll have to throw it away and buy a new one! [Celebrity-Gossip]...