a Page 7982 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Close To Midnight And Hichori Morimoto Is Lurking In The Dark
Here is Hichori Morimoto of the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters accepting his Japanese Pacific League Golden Glove award. (Umm... back row, second from the left.) Just a word from the wise, Morimoto: Maybe stick to the performance art stilts and Martian or Conehead costumes. They're much less racisty,...

Kelly Leak, Jim Duggan, Alice ... All Roiders!
I was planning on writing about the Andy Pettitte news here, but really, what is there to say? He took some human growth hormone five years ago to treat an injury and he “got caught.” Pettitte says it was the only time he tried it his career — at a time when HGH wasn’t illegal, no less — and well, I...


Where The Offense Is, Let The Great Axe Fall
New Jersey at New England, CBS: In case you've never seen that one television completely dedicated to sports, the Patriots have already locked up a first-round bye but will have revenge on their mind with Mangini's blowing-whistle Jets coming to town. And personally, I want to see heads fucking role...

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • In progress — Bowling. PBA Spartanburg [ESPNC] • In progress — Into The Blue [SHOe] • 1:00 — Pool. Women's 9-Ball Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — U.S. Marshals [SPIKE] • 1:30 — The Jackal [USA] • 2:00 — Shanghai Noon [TBS] • 2:00 — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [TBS] • 2:30 — ...

Duncan Returns, Does Little, Spurs Still Win
The NBA Closer is still written by me. I only kept this awkward italicized intro here so I could link to The Basketball Jones podcast. Why? Because hits brings a big ol' smile to Tas' face. Enjoy!...

Grand Slam Sunday
Apparently it's like the Super Bowl of soccer on the other side of the pond today. Yeah, news to me too! Dubbed Grand Slam Sunday by the Brits, we just had Liverpool and Manchester United in the first match — final score: Man. U 1-0 — with Arsenal versus Chelsea in the second installment. In fact, t...

About Last Night
What you missed while gettin' busy livin' ... • NFL: Shaun Hill is undefeated; third-string QB leads 49ers over Bengals. • NBA: Spurs top Nuggets in Duncan's return; Matt Bonner not impressed. • Div. III Football: ♫ Mt. Union goes falling down a-down to UW-Whitewater / That's cuz the Beaver learned ...

He's Baaaaaaaaaaack!
If it were up to me I would not be reposting this. I find 'Nightmare Ant' creepy, intimidating and more than a little demonic. But the truth is, I have very little control over this site anymore. Neither does Will. Yeah, it's 'Nightmare Ant' calling the shots now. And if 'Nightmare Ant' wants his ph...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you listen to Travis Barker "Superman dat drum kit" ... • College Basketball: Memphis vs. Middle Tennessee State. Make Rep. Bart Gordon proud, MTSU. [ESPN2] • World Extreme Cagefighting: Crunkilton vs. McCullough. Please don't feed the animals. [VS.] • Movie: The Notebook. "I love t...

Vikings' Dwight Smith In Trouble Again
The Minnesota Vikings have a significant game against the Chicago Bears this Monday night, so it should come as no surprise that one of their players was arrested. That's just what they do. And I, for one, appreciate the consistency....

Godspeed, Sweet Herrmann
• An emotional goodbye to Walter Herrmann ... [Sports Brethren] • And a closer look at the Bobacts-Pistons trade. [Indignant Sports] • A few college ball mid-majors to keep an eye on. [Storming The Floor] • Christmas gift ideas for that sporty woman in your life. [Ladies...] • Selig's reaction to th...


Meet Your New American Gladiators
What better way to start burying our infamous 'Nightmare Ant' overlord than with another entry into the timeless "nightmare fuel" tag? Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you ... one of you newest American Gladiators ... HELLGA!...


Rory Sabbatini And Roo
Rick linked to this yesterday, but I don't care. Video of a masturbating kangaroo interrupting play at the Australian PGA Championship last week is exactly the type of "sports news without discretion" you come here for. Well, that, and Nightmare Ant....

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• In progress — College Basketball. Okalahoma State at Pittsburgh [ESPN] • In progress — NCAA Division II Football Championship. Northwest Missouri State vs. Valdosta State [ESPN2] • In progress — Movie. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo [ENCORE] • 2:00 — SWAC Football Championship. Grambling vs. Jackson S...
