a Page 8052 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wake The Kids And Hide The Pets, Michael Vick Is Heading Home
Michael Vick could be released from prison as early as May 21, say government officials, and sent to a halfway house. Which, in this case, will be his own house....

Alex Rodriguez: Still Not Getting It
A-Rod proved that he can perform without the aid of fancy drugs by hitting a home run in his second spring training at bat—then getting a ride home from his injection-happy "cousin."...

Boof Bonser Bounced
Exploratory surgery on the Twins reliever revealed a torn rotator cuff, which means six to eight months of not being able to shout "BOOF!" at inappropriate moments. [MLB.com]...

Adelman's Kid Close To A Rare DUI Hat Trick
David Adelman, son of Houston Rockets coach Rick Adelman and basketball coach at Lincoln High in Portland, Ore., earns his second DUI arrest since 2005. [Portland Oregonian]...

Heidi Watney Has Gator Troubles (With Dramatic Video)
In a horrifying, true story from spring training, NESN's Heidi Watney tells how her dog is a virtual prisoner in its own home due to a nearby alligator (which may actually be a log)....

Does No One Want The Oakland A's?
Nothing against the fine folks of Fremont, but if you're a Major League Baseball team and they don't want you, it may be time to reconsider hanging around the San Francisco Bay Area....

Duke Survives Prank Call Barrage, Beats Maryland Anyway
Despite a long sleepless night of running refrigerator jokes, Duke somehow managed to get some rest in during their 18-hour wait for tipoff and were able to outlast Maryland....

Andy Phillips Assures Everyone That He's Not The Carl Pavano/Greg Dobbs/John Cena Impersonator
"Anyone who knows me knows I would never have been involved in anything remotely close to something like that." [Pirates Report]...

Revisiting Jeff Reed's Paper Towel Freakout: An Investigative Report
You're probably thinking to yourself, "Hey, did they ever fix the towel dispenser that Jeff Reed broke?" That or you were thinking of pie. Quite often it's pie....

The Cristiano Ronaldo Float Is Not Shy About Its Manhood
Portuguese soccer fans at Carnival celebrated Cristiano Ronaldo's ... um ... yep, I think that's an enormous ball hanging out of his shorts. NSFW, I guess? [Die Presse]...

Hey, Are You Gheorghe Muresan?
• Livin large: Another young man has his dreams fulfilled by getting to hang out with a 7'7" human oddity. [Gunaxin]...

Spike Lee Will Help Out On Double-Teams Whenever He Can
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Some Spring Training News That Really Isn't News
In a development absolutely no one could have predicted, the Indians' Kerry Wood may miss some time with a sore back. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...

Tiger's Return Causes ESPN Writer To Bring Out The Blue Blogging
Admittedly, I didn't read Jason Sobel's live blog of The Blasian One's' long-awaited return to the PGA, but I'm a little sorry I didn't, since it seems he threw in a haphazard boner joke....

Sharks' Practice Rink Is Cursed, Or Something
Two recreational league players collapse and die within hours of each other while playing hockey at Sharks Ice in San Jose. [San Jose Mercury]...

Connecticut Governor Lashes Out At Calhoun
Are Jim Calhoun and Connecticut governor M. Jodi Rell officially feuding? Rell had a few choice things to say about the coach today, and it is ON, sister!...

Buccaneers Release Famous Country Duo
Brooks and Dunn are done in Tampa Bay! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ... wait. I don't get it. [Mass Hysteria]...

Michael Phelps Is Not The One Who's High Here
• Touché: Sheriff Leon Lott puts on a blonde wig to make fun of people who made fun of him. Boy do I feel ... silly? [Inside Charm City]...

Claude Lemieux Returns To Detroit
Everyone involved wants play down this momentous occasion, but as a struggling hockey fan desperate for drama and intrigue, tonight's Sharks-Red Wings game is the most explosive moment in hockey history!...
