a Page 8110 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sam Bradford Totally Jinxed By NFL Draft Report
"Sources have told us that Sam Bradford, barring an injury in Thursday night’s BCS National Championship, will declare for the NFL Draft." Good luck tomorrow, buddy! [National Football Post]...
ESPN Trots Out "Quite Frankly" For Old White People
Awful Announcing reveals that Rick Reilly will finally get the consistent face-time to justify his $17 million ESPN contract. America, lock up your Ed Hardy T-shirts and your dental metaphors because "Homecoming" is here....
New Jersey Senator Demands You T Up Those Cheerleaders
Governing a large state like New Jersey takes a special kind of politician, one with an iron will and mighty intelligence. Nothing can derail his mission ... except 11-year-old cheerleaders!...
Joel Przybilla's Extended Family Is Not Cool With David Stern's Stupid Fines
Portland Trailblazer Joel Przybilla was fined $7,500 for this altercation with Tyson Chandler last week. For comment on this momentous national story, the media naturally turned to the 83-year-old grandmother of Przybilla's wife....
Time To Hide The Sausage
• Nightmare Ant weeps: Wow, those small Western athletic conferences really take their mascots seriously. Oh, I'm sorry, maybe that should have read: "really don't take their mascots seriously." [Storming The Floor]...
According To Snooping Europeans, Candace Parker Might Be Pregnant (UPDATE: She's Offcially Bumped Up)
They claim she won't be playing this season while she awaits her new baby. In case This is true.Please send your condolences to this heartbroken commenter. [FIBA]...
So This Is What $180 Million Foreplay Looks Like
Time to meet Leigh Teixeira, whom I fully expect to be sitting in a folding chair right next to first base during every inning that husband Mark plays this season....
Lions Tattoo Takes "Lovable Loser" Thing A Bit Too Far
We're all very proud of the Detroit Lions and their perfect season, and it's highly unlikely that we will ever fail to remember their legendary futility. So maybe the 0-16 tattoo is a bit much....
This Woman's Baseball Card Collection Is Better Than Yours
Here is Fresno resident Bernice Gallego, who was rummaging through an old box one day and found a rather unique baseball card. How unique? Well ......
Jag Off!
Does Boston have a newspaper that would actually use that headline? Either way: the NY Post ( who would definitely use that headline) are reporting that the BC coach is officially out. 3 p.m. press conference scheduled. [NYP]...
Prepare To Welcome Our New Versus/Comcast Overlords
ESPN dynasty melting like the polar ice cap, according to latest ratings. Nobody panic! All is well! [Sports by Brooks]...
Octogenarian Writer Leaves Rickey Henderson Off HOF Ballot; Hilarity Ensues
Rickey Henderson is a lock to be voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, but will he be the first-ever unanimous selection? Sadly, no ... thanks to this man!...
At Least Reggie Bush's Hands Are Still Okay
The Saints' sizzle back had some micro-fracture knee surgery and will rehab for months. A lot more serious than previously suspected, but he shouldn't miss mini-camp. Or cuddle time. [NOLA]...
Hero Photographer Canned By Fussy Ski Resort
The identity of the photographer who took the by-now legendary Ski Lift Pantsless photos has been revealed. We know that, unfortunately, because he had been employed by Vail Resorts, which fired him....
Report Says Bulldogs Backfield Going Pro
Georgia's Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno are good—but not good enough to go No. 1 to the Lions—so they both feel confident enough to declare for the NFL Draft. [ESPN]...
Horrible Celtics Lose Again
Paul Pierce crab dribbled his way out of bounds in overtime and Charlotte handed the putrid Boston Celtics their fifth loss in seven games. Why did anyone ever think this team was good?...
Rey Maualuga Apologizes For Impromptu Rumpy-Pump of America's Sideline Princess
"Rey both e-mailed and spoke to Erin and apologized to her. He realized he made a mistake and used poor judgment. He deeply regrets his actions". EA? Mum. [LAT] [via Smackcaster]...
Jeff Jagodzinski Reportedly Signs His Own Death Certificate
According to the New York Post, Boston College will follow through with its promise to fire coach Jeff Jagodzinski if he interviewed with the Jets. He did...so "He's done," said a BC source....
Rock You Like A Golden Hurricane
Tulsa shuts down Nate Davis, tramples Ball State 45-13 in GMAC Bowl. Oh, you didn't watch? [Indy Star]...
Because The World Isn't Truly Free Unless The Gators Win
• Tebow for Commerce Secretary: Idiot Congressman asks Nancy Pelosi to delay the certification vote of President Barack Obama, so that he can attend the National Championship Game on Thursday....