a Page 8180 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Derrick Rose Injured In Freak Apple Peeling Incident
Derrick Rose's NBA career is off to a phenomenal start. The number one overall pick is averaging 18 points and six assists so far in his rookie year, he's already become the leader of his Chicago Bulls squad, and his highlight reel moves are electrifying crowds across the land. It seems the only thi...

"To The Hizzeeeeee!" Is Prepared To Sweep The Nation
Now that "boom goes the dynamite" has officially peaked as a cultural phenomenon, it's time to find a new contender for amateur sports announcer catchphrases that will set the internet on fire. The degree of difficulty on this one is much higher, because it's not the phrase itself that will leave yo...

Nude High School Cheerleaders Now Less Nude, Sue School
It's a good thing they didn't have cell phones when I was in high school; I'd still be there trying to graduate. You may have heard of the Bothell, WA high school cheerleaders who took naked cell phone pictures of themselves and then "accidentally" sent them to the entire school. Well, their parents...

Italian Goal Celebrations Getting More Disturbing By The Minute
Italian Serie B forward Cristiano Lucarelli is no stranger to controversy; he's a fan of Che Guevera, and has been criticized for his frequent two-fisted communist salute goal celebrations. But that's nothing compared to what you'll see in the video below. The only way to describe it, I suppose, is ...

Visanthe Shiancoe Becomes A Big, Bright, Shining Star
For the second Sunday this season I received a text message regarding an unlucky football player's unleashed member. Granted, KOGOD's "Locker room cock pic. Any thoughts?" message was less frantic than poor Tanner Cooley's after his brother's unfortunate slip-out, but it was still memorable in the s...

Kevin McHale To Take A More Active Role In The Failure Of The Timberwolves
The Minnesota Timberwolves are 4-15, which is not the worst record in their division, but it's far from the best. Obviously, Vice President of Basketball Operations Kevin McHale will not tolerate such underachievement, so he has rightly fired head coach Randy Wittman and replaced him with the only m...

Kige Ramsey Paints Word Pictures With Alabama-Florida Live Blog
If you weren't able to watch the Alabama-Florida game on Saturday, I hope that you at least had computer access so that you could follow along as Kige Ramsey live blogged the event. Yes, the YouTube Sports broadcaster and owner of many fine Kentucky Wildcats T-shirts once again tried his hand at liv...

America's Most Distracted Team Still Wins NFC East
Somehow this loss is all Antonio Pierce's fault. But even though the Giants were pushed around by the revitalized Iggles, they were still NFC East champions at the end of the day. The best highlight from yesterday's 20-14 loss from a Giants perspective was Tom Coughlin's joyous sprint down the sidel...

College Football Roundup: The Big 12 Meets the SEC
It's Oklahoma and Florida for the BCS Title—an imperfect end to a season when no football team was perfect. Except, you know, Utah and Boise State. But they don't really count. What with their small conferences and even smaller media markets and exposure. The BCS is fair and impartial. Except, you ...

This Must Be Some Sort Of Mistake
I see the words that have been hastily scrawled with Magic Marker on this sweat-soaked towel, but I'm not sure I understand what they mean. It seems to imply that the Cardinals are in fact the NFC West Division champions. The Arizona Cardinals? The football team? Whatever! (Let the record show that ...

Morten Andersen Retires
Someone finally informed the NFL's all-time leading scorer that he is no longer in the NFL, so he officially announced his retirement today from Denmark. Andersen played 25 years for five different teams and the 63-yarder he hit in 1981 is still a Big Ten record. [AP/Google]...

SHOTY First Round: Chris Cooley Vs. Caitlin Davis
Just two more first-round matchups until we reach the Elite Eight. We haven't had any truly close matchups yet, though it's early. Today, it's Hot Pants/ Naked Playbook Guy Vs. Hot Pants / Goofy Facebook Lady....

Will Cubs Be Destitute, Eating From Dumpsters In 2009?
With the Wall Street Journal reporting that the Tribune Company has hired bankruptcy advisers, Chicago Cubs fans are preparing for the worst (as if they ever prepare for the best). Will the team, which is owned by the Tribune, be able to afford Jake Peavy? Will a reputable buyer ever come forward? W...

The Cultural Evolution of Brian Collins' Unwanted Catchphrase Continues
Via World of Isaac:...

Morning Blogdome: Anna Rawson Finally Finds Work
• A Cinderella story?: Relax, everyone. Anna Rawson earned back her LPGA tour card. Like it's even possible for you to watch more LPGA golf. [Fan IQ]...

Another Alternate Erin Andrews Grip
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Clinton Portis Can Carry The Load, But Can He Carry His Team To The Playoffs?
The Ravens are coming off of a huge win against Philadelphia and a romp against divisional glory hole, Cincinnati, and they're only a game out of their division lead. They're riding high on their resilient Ray Lewis-driven defense and enjoying an incredible rookie year from quarterback Joe Flacco. B...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while Meshach Taylor pops out of your mouth......

The Bills Are Pro-Choice About JP Losman, Plus More Avery-kkake In A Super-Sized Blogdome
I got two of these today; this is one of those screenshots announcing that Bills quarterback JP Losman...I'm guessing he was in their version of the Wildcat and they needed a way to document that somehow. Either way, it's a damn fine description of the backup quarterback's woes, as his team has los...

FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong
Thanks to everyone that sent us pics of this. It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face. Pretty sure Heidi Klum has the same problem when she's taping Project Runway, but we're getting off-...