a Page 8205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While "Reorganizing Your Sock Drawer," If you Know What We Mean (Which We Don't)... · Phillies tie for wild-card lead. Ryan Howard immediately organizes holdout. · Padres storm to under .500 division lead. The pennant will be a white flag. · Mourning Returns To Heat. Funny; we have a...

To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Dislodge Your Remote From The Dog ... · 2005 World Series of Poker: Watch that river flop! OK, we have no idea what that means. · Little League Softball: Pssst: The kid with the beard is juicing. · Collegetowns: Life In College Football: Yeah, they're just looking for s...

Leftovers: Those Dead Twins
· Twins pretty much toast this year. Fans of vanilla baseball cry, everyone else does the wave. [ESPN] · Dorky Northwestern grad handicaps the Big Ten. [Si.com] · Eagles write T.O. a "very strongly worded letter." Take that. [Philly.com]...

Bill Simmons' Continued Blind Spot
We're sorry to pick on him — really! — but we feel obliged to point out that in his new More Cowbell column, which looks at the American League MVP race, our boy Bill says the National League race — a league that Simmons full confesses to "knowing nothing about" — "can be summed up in one word: P...

Hey, Look: Mike Tyson In Trouble Again
Say it with us now: More trouble for Mike Tyson. The former heavyweight champ — it seems like so much has happened that we shouldn't even call him that anymore — has been accused of assaulting a woman in Italy who refused to have sex with him. The European press, which has pretty much been doing ...

Saints QB Plays By Prison Rules
Interestingly enough, this exact same picture — with different clothing and entirely different context — was taken of Ravens running back Jamal Lewis while he was in prison. But again: Something else entirely....

Blogdom's Best: Boston Fans Already Turning On Schilling
News And Views From Somewhere Near A Chess Board · Sometimes we think Red Sox fans wouldn't be happy even if they were bathing with a million dollars and five Jessica Biel clones. [Over the Monster] · Somehow, a Royals blogger just wrote 1,200 words about a team that has lost 16 in a row. [Lookout L...

Tom Brady Masturbates Just Like The Rest Of Us
Life's tough for Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. The number of women who jump in front of traffic for him his cumbersome, $50 bills don't burn nearly as well as $100 ones and, hey, those rings are heavy. And now he's sick of being known as a golden boy. In an interview in the upcoming GQ, Brady ...

A Quiet Crowd
That's not a picture of the newest publicity attempt by the Arizona Cardinals to make their games look better on television. It's actually a photo from the set of the new Mark Wahlberg movie Invincible, about a bartender named Vince Papale who wins a spot on the Philadelphia Eagles. (He caught on...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 11 a.m. Buzz And ShowGirl: Hey, was it difficult to get your career back on track after that dancing movie with Gina Gershon? Do you sometimes wish you'd have stayed on "Saved By The Bell? · 2 p.m.. MLB With Rob Neyer: Just wondering, ...

In Other News, Mel Gibson Will Be Negotiating The Gaza Resettlement
We know this was a few days ago, but we just can't help ourselves: Rush Limbaugh wants to help Eagles combatants Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens get together....

Why, No, That's Not A Crowbar In My Jersey
Now, we're not saying that high school football players are inherently cretins or Neanderthals or anything, but when your team photo has pictures of meaty dudes carrying battleaxes and crowbars, well, there's maybe a reason the guys from the A/V Club haven't been seen in a few weeks....

Maria Sharapova's Vanishing Nipples
Maria Sharapova has long been accused of being more popular for her body than for her tennis (as if the two were mutually exclusive). And now she's beginning to hear rumblings that the streams are being crossed even further. Sharapova announced yesterday that she's going to miss the Rogers Cup be...

The Curse Of Mets' No-Hitters
See that guy? That guy is Kit Pellow, a nondescript, mostly mediocre outfielder in the Seattle Mariners organization. Pellow is one of those thousands of baseball players whose name fans hear once and never hear of again....

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Pretending Not To Watch "Cathouse" In Slow Motion ... · Giants' Randy Winn hits for cycle. Giants wake up in fourth inning, see that Bonds is still hurt, go back to sleep. · Michael Finley released by Dallas. "Mr. Finley, a 'Shack' is on the phone again. Yes, I'll take another ...

The Week In Deadspin: Find The Roider!
The Week That Done Be ... · Stephen A. Smith is pretty much driving everyone mad · Michael Kay's erection embarasses everyone in Yankees booth. · Ryne Sandberg only person happy about Rafael Palmeiro's fall from grace. · Madden! · Old lady stalks Eric Byrnes. · You, too, can join The Mario Lopez Net...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch after those four foolish words: "I'm going all in." ... · Where players are still using the juice — usually grape: Little League Southwest Regional final. · Lions at Jets: Mike Heimerdinger unveils new offense, Chad Pennington ruins it. · Light welterweight slap and tickle: Donald Cama...

Ozzie Guillen, Sexual Profiler
According to resident no-fun-guy Rick Morrissey at the Chicago Tribune, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen might be a little too loosey-goosey with how he jokes around with his friends....

Leftovers: Hey, Where's My Wallet?
· Tiger flat, Mickelson all that. [Bloomberg] · Oh, no you di'n't ... McNabb blasts T.O. [Philly.com] · I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today. Someone in this room ... is a thief!: UConn guard arrested. [SI.com] · U.S. finally passes Ethiopia in World Track medal count: Gatlin l...

When Will Raffy Return?
Orioles roid rager — exclusive term! MUST CREDIT DEADSPIN! — Rafael Palmeiro was eligible to return last night but did not play. The Orioles are reportedly considering keeping him out of the lineup until after this weekend's series so he won't be booed by home fans....