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Why The Lions Belong On Thanksgiving
The Detroit Lions are (arguably, I know) the worst organization in sports. Their incompetence, from the owner to the fans, is legendary. Yet, tradition dictates that every year, just as families arrive at the homes of relatives they don't particularly care for in order to celebrate this giving of Th...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get the early jump on the crowds at Sears ... • College Basketball: Boston College Eagles vs. Purdue Boilermakers (7:00 p.m., ET) What's a Harvey Wallbanger? [ESPN2] • NBA: Orlando Magic at Philadelphia 76ers (7:30 p.m., ET) Get along, 76ers. [ESPN] • Movie: "The 40-Year-Old ...

Jimmy Connors Takes a Handsome, Distinguished-Looking Mugshot
So there was this weird story about Jimmy Connors getting arrested last weekend after some sort of fan altercation outside the UCSB/North Carolina basketball game. The police report said Connors refused to "comply with an order", so basically he was most likely just being an arrogant prick to polic...

After Abilene Christian's 93-Point Saturday Afternoon, Fans Ask What's Next?
Stuff you may not know about Div. 1-AA II Abilene Christian University: Their quarterback, Billy Don Madison Malone, was once the heir apparent to J.P. Losman at Tulane, and some says he's better. Wilbert Montgomery, who still holds the franchise rushing record for the Philadelphia Eagles, is a prou...

Afternoon Blogdome: Go Home Already
• Out of ideas: Here are pictures of a hot Russian lady boxer. Enjoy the long weekend. [The Spoiler] • Don't even think about it, Johnny Majors: Bill Snyder's return to Kansas State is probably giving some other ex-coaches some ideas. They should forget those ideas. [APIAS] • I hear Del Boca Vista i...

Anonymous Anti-Weis Source Hints That Ditching The Ineffective Coach Is Possible
$4.5 million. That's what the Chicago Tribune's Notre Dame source says it would take to get rid of Charlie Weis after four seasons. Even though there's been no indication from ND's athletic director that he'll be booted, it appears some of the influential alumni members are ready to move on. The Tri...

Lil' Wayne Sheds No Tattooed Teardrops for Pacman Jones
ESPN the Mag's extremely productive blogger, Lil' Wayne — the Bob Dylan of our generation — went off in his usual Weezy fashion this week about all things sports related. One Lil' Wayne opinion of note is the rapper's stance on Cowboys' trouble-making defensive back Pacman Jones. Always unpredictabl...

Citi Field and Manchester United: Your Tax Dollars At Work
The government's bailout of our collapsing financial industry continues apace—you got your check, right?—but now that these companies are playing with our money, suddenly everyone is an expert. Some are suggesting that maybe the reason these firms are in trouble is because they like to waste money a...

Mayweather Jr. Makes It Rain With Monopoly Money, Loses Street Cred
Now that Pacman Jones has vowed to straighten up and fly right, who's going to toss enormous amounts of cash into the air so that random strangers can clutch at the loot in a screaming frenzy? Floyd Mayweather Jr., that's who. One glitch, however. Apparently Pretty Boy Floyd's money is fake. As in c...

Enjoy The Whimsical Coaching Stylings Of Jimmy Patsos
In our latest edition of Coaching Tactics For The Comically Insane, we present Loyola. Md. coach Jimmy Patsos, who had a foolproof way to defend Davidson's Stephen Curry on Tuesday. Patsos rolled out the triangle-and-two, and with devastating effect: Curry was held scoreless. One problem, though. Pa...

Programming Note: It's Turkey Jamboroo Day Tomorrow (And Ray's Doing the Carving)
Last year, we ran a Thanksgiving edition of the NFL Jamboroo the day before Thanksgiving. But we're gonna forgo that this year and run the Jamboroo early tomorrow morning. Why? Well, for one thing, there isn't fucking jack SHIT to do on Thanksgiving morning. You watch the parade for two minutes, yo...

Yeah, What Is That Smoke You're Blowing, Mr. Artest?
So, I completely missed this upon first viewing of Ron Artest's vlog post, but thanks to Pete Gaines, it was brought to my attention: Artest appears to be smoking...something. Maybe it's a cigarette. Maybe it's a napkin stuffed with pine needles. Maybe he's doing a dragon impersonation. Or, you know...

Blue Nail Polish, Cinderella Diapers And You
Brian Urlacher's estranged lady friend, Tyna Robertson, told a Will County Court on Tuesday that she barred Urlacher from seeing their 3-year-old son because Urlacher painted the child's toenails blue and allowed him to wear Cinderella pull-up diapers. Note to Bears fans: This story includes the ter...

Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...

Deadspin Deleted Scenes: The One With Facial Art and STD Addendums
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another - usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolut...

SHOTY First Round: Roger Clemens Vs. Vince Young
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and it's difficult to imagine much that would be more enjoyable than voting in the 2008 Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. Like you're doing any work today anyway. In fact, you're probably not even in the office right now. Are you reading this from the fu...

Ron Artest Unleashes His Unholy Vlog
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call. This video was respectfully ganked from the man, the myth, the DUAN albatross...SKEETS. For the who...

The Women Of Knoxville Profiting From Bruce Pearl's Divorce
There are three kinds of divorces in this world. One, is when both parties realize it just isn't working out and they amicably part ways. Two, is when one person has had enough, but the other clings desperately to the relationship, always believing that it could somehow still work out. The third is—...

Exploring the ESPN Business Model (Hint: It Involves Swimming In Piles of Cash)
By now everyone knows that ESPN paid $100 million more than Fox could afford for the rights to the BCS games beginning in 2009. Cementing, to a great degree, ESPN's status as a post-season college football monopoly (they now control 29 of the 34 bowl games). And we've also noted that this increasing...

Morning Blogdome: Drinking Before Breakfast
My boy was just like [email protected]. • I'm listening: It looks like someone finally figured out the only way you're going to get me up in the middle of the night to go shopping: Black Friday Tailgate Party! [Goose's Roost] • Still a rip-off: By the way, Steve and Barry's liquidation sales be...