aba Page 127 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Is Not Good For Me. <em>The Dictator</em>, Reviewed.
1. There's a scene toward the end of The Dictator when you can see, finally, why Sacha Baron Cohen decided to wrap a whole movie around Admiral General Aladeen, the ruthless, clueless dictator of fictional country Wadiya. Without giving away any plot details, Aladeen is speaking to the United Nation...

Major League Baseball Swings And Misses Again, Shuts Down "Atlanta Barves" T-Shirt Operation
Major League Baseball is at it again. Whether it's the stupid, tiny embedded videos they make us watch or the continued use of Tim McCarver as an analyst, the old fuddy-duddies at MLB continue to ruin fan enjoyment of its product. Now, it's silly internet meme "Atlanta Barves."...

Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner, Kicked Out Of Alabama Softball Game
Harvey Updyke, the man arrested for allegedly poisoning the sacred tree's at Auburn's Toomer's Corner, who may or may not still reside in his car in the woods, was kicked out of an SEC Softball tournament game by Alabama officials yesterday....

Sacha Baron Cohen Doesn't Know You're Tired of Him
One of the surest signs you've become a successful comedian is that a lot of people absolutely can't stand your shtick. When you're starting out in standup or as a performer, you're desperate to get noticed, but you also have the time to hone your act and experiment and figure out your unique thing,...

Brian Downing, Krystal Restaurant Named In "Alabama Teabagger" Lawsuit
Remember Brian Downing? He's the gentleman alleged to have been caught on video performing a certain sexual act on a passed-out LSU fan in the hours after the BCS Championship game this year in New Orleans. (See our full coverage here.) That act, which the New Orleans Times-Picayune describes as "p...

Tampa Bay Bucs Sign Paralyzed Former Rutgers Player In Goodwill Gesture
Eric LeGrand was a special teams player for Rutgers in October 2010, when he was paralyzed from the neck down after making a tackle against Army. His coach at the time was Greg Schiano, who often did his best afterward to make LeGrand feel like he was still a part of the team. And now that Schiano h...

For Interfering With That Foul Ball The Other Day, Matt Geiger Got Called An Asshole By An Old Woman In A Wheelchair
Former NBA big man Matt Geiger has given a radio interview about the brain fart he had in the eighth inning of Sunday's Twins-Rays game, which we first showed you the other day. Geiger said he got caught up in the moment because he was hoping to get a ball he could give to his 4-year-old son....

The Dirty Secrets Of A Sports Arena, As Revealed By A Drunk Stadium Employee Emailing Us At 5:30 P.M.
Last month, I got an email from a guy who works Lightning games at the Tampa Bay Times Forum. Our informant was piss drunk and looking for a place to vent about his job. It will shock and stun you to learn that stadium arenas do not operate like they did on that one Matthew Perry sitcom. I'll let ou...

How To Make A Pipe Out Of <em>ESPN The Magazine</em>'s Stupid Weed-Panic Issue
The latest issue of ESPN The Magazine contains a feature by Mark Schlabach about college football's marijuana "problem." It is, as we've noted, one of the most useless sports-and-drugs stories ever committed to paper. But not entirely useless! The video above provides step-by-step instructions f...

Former NBA Big Man Matt Geiger Was "Relocated" From Tropicana Field For Interfering With Carlos Peña On A Foul Ball
On a lazy Sunday in April, Matt Geiger—journeyman center for the Miami Heat, Charlotte Hornets and Philadelphia 76ers—probably enjoys soaking in the sun and taking in a ballgame. Not necessarily at the same time, though, since he was at The Trop causing a scene and interfering with Carlos Peña on ...

Jabar Gaffney Thinks The Redskins Want To Trade Him Because Of His Twitter Rant
Gaffney said as much to a radio station this morning, though it's "likely, but not absolutely certain" he could be even be released, a league source also told ESPN 980. Yes, Gaffney was referring to the same Twitter rant he says he wasn't responsible for because he got hacked....

Dope Scandal: Why Is ESPN's Drugs-In-College-Football Story So Stupid?
Honestly, I feel bad for everyone involved in the making of this ESPN The Magazine feature about college football's marijuana "problem," which has to be the stupidest sports-and-dope story I've read in an allegedly reputable outlet since the Yahoo guy went running around the Syracuse campus with a p...

The Red Sox Game Ended With A Magical Elastic Strike Zone
With runners on first and second with two outs, and the Rays up one in today's Patriots' Day morning start at Fenway, it came down to Fernando Rodney and Cody Ross. Rodney threw five straight balls outside, except three of them weren't strictly balls, since home plate ump Larry Vanover called them s...

Warren Sapp Claims He Filed For Bankruptcy To Avoid Going To Jail
According to Sapp, all his financial troubles are thanks to that eternal temptress, the can't-miss real estate deal. Sapp spoke to the Tampa Bay Times and elaborated on how a man who made around $60 million over his career was reducing to cataloging his sneaker and naked lady painting collections i...
![Jabar Gaffney Is Having A Twitter Meltdown Over His Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife And A Former Teammate Who's Also His Cousin [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17jdx4lnn3e94jpg.jpg)
Jabar Gaffney Is Having A Twitter Meltdown Over His Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife And A Former Teammate Who's Also His Cousin [UPDATE]
We're not really sure what to make of what's been happening recently with the Twitter account of Redskins receiver Jabar Gaffney. So far as we can tell, Gaffney is none too happy with both free agent cornerback Lito Sheppard and his own wife, though it's not clear if one beef has anything to do with...

Jose Maria Olazabal Was Pulled Over Doing 97 MPH After Leaving The Masters
Two-time Masters champion Jose Maria Olazabal was ticketed in southeastern Georgia yesterday morning after he was clocked going 97 mph in a 65 mph zone....

Ozzie Guillen Said Something Crazy About Fidel Castro
Ozzie Guillén said he loved Fidel Castro. Can you believe it? Guillén said he respects Fidel Castro. Are you hearing this? In Miami, with a large demographic of people who have fled Cuba to get away from Castro, people are losing their shit. Or, at least, we are being told that people are losing th...

The Restorative Power Of The Chick-Fil-A Banana Pudding Milkshake
I've had a bad week. Not just a normal bad week, where you stub your toe and your DVR forgets to record Best Sex Ever or something like that. I mean, a legitimate bad week, where your loved ones are hospitalized and you crash your car into an illegal immigrant while going TO the hospital to visit yo...

Joe Maddon Wears Short Shorts
The Rays like to have fun, and nothing screams fun like booty shorts. For the Rays' pregame workout on Saturday, the entire team decided to don short pants, because they're a bunch of guys! Hanging out together! Showing a little thigh!...

Trent Richardson Smash!
Pro days are serious business. With fewer players taking part in the Combine, whether due to injury or the founded fear that performing can only hurt their draft stock, the highly controlled pro day has become the showcase of choice for the top prospects. This is bad news for the NFL Network, and ...