aba Page 131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...
Today In Sexual News From Sandusky, Ohio
"PERKINS TOWNSHIP, Ohio- A Sandusky woman was arrested on Sunday afternoon after she allegedly beat her husband because he refused her sex. ... According to the report, after a day of shopping and a stop at a local bar, Vera and Harold Baaske returned home. Harold told officers that Vera wanted to ...
Deion Sanders To Tony Romo: "Who Gets In Your Butt?"
He was just trying to see if Romo has anyone willing to challenge him in the way Tom Brady was, but Sanders definitely could have worded his question a bit better. [h/t to Jackie A.]...
Artem Anisimov Breaks Out The Boomstick, Righteously Pisses Off The Lightning
After scoring his fifth goal of the season, a shorthanded tally in a tie game, Rangers center Artem Anisimov lowered the sights, pumped his stick, and let fly with one of the more demonstrative celebrations of the year. The Lightning took offense and swarmed Anisimov, setting off a penalty bonanza...
Former Dolphin Says Nick Saban Calmly Stepped Over Convulsing Teammate In '05
We'll make this one brief, because if it is true, than it is stale by about six years—but we do jump at any opportunity to point out instances in which Nick Saban might have behaved like a dick, and this anecdote certainly qualifies....
Nick Saban Was Irrational For Not Being <em>More</em> Selfish
My favorite family legend involves my dad's baby sister—my "Тетка," in Macedonian—Bonnie. As the story goes, Bonnie's first-grade class organized a Brownie troop, and their first act was to elect a troop leader. When they counted the votes, Bonnie was the only girl who hadn't voted for herself. Upse...
Beating Victim Identified LeGarrette Blount As "The Leader" In September Attack, But Didn't Press Charges
What's known is this: On Sept. 11, just after the Tampa Bay Buccaneers opened the season with a loss at home to the Detroit Lions, a 34-year-old man named Gary Holmer was severely beaten by two men after a minor car accident in which his vehicle knocked the mirror off another vehicle outside an apa...
Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids
John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has ne...
![LSU's Official Online Store Has Been Hacked To Display Alabama Merchandise [UPDATE: Just A Glitch!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4qzoyxk3nejpg.jpg)
LSU's Official Online Store Has Been Hacked To Display Alabama Merchandise [UPDATE: Just A Glitch!]
Oh, it's on now. Too bad the game isn't for another, uh, month?...
Photoshop Contest: Raiders LB Rolando McClain's Fantastic Perp Walk Grin
When we first saw the above photo of Rolando McClain after he was arrested yesterday in his hometown of Decatur, Ala., on misdemeanor gun and assault charges, we kind of thought it had already been doctored. I mean, just look at that facial expression, at that playful tilt of the head. But the phot...
The Rays' New Rape Problem
The Tampa Bay Rays just traded for Mariners reliever Josh Lueke, a righty who's undervalued because he dodged a rape charge a few years back. Our resident Rays fan, Mobutu Sese Seko, is not pleased. TB brass is advised to read his debunking of the various pro-Lueke factions sooner rather than later....
Tampa Bay FOX Affiliate Airs Unidentified Buccaneer Locker Room Dong
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost a heartbreaker yesterday to the Tennessee Titans, a 23-17 game thick with penalties, turnovers, and otherwise sloppy play. That sloppiness continued in the locker room, where Fox 13 aired this live interview with Bucs tackle Donald Penn while an as-yet unidentified te...
Onterio McCalebb's Kickoff Return Touchdown Left This Auburn Bro Feeling Awfully Smug
Auburn's Onterio McCalebb opened the second half of the Iron Bowl by taking Alabama's kickoff to the house, but it only brought the Tigers within ten of their rivals—which makes you wonder what this bro is feeling so smug about. [CBS]...
LeGarrette Blount Steamrolls The Green Bay Packers Defense
There's really not much to add to this. He even gave us the obligatory faux Lambeau Leap....
That Mean Columbia Marching Band Has Been Un-Banned From Performing At The 0-9 Football Team's Last Game
You did it, Deadspin readers! Or at least our friends at the Columbia Spectator say you did it:...
A Collection Of Literary Gems From The UFC's Lawsuit Against New York
Zuffa, the UFC's parent company, has sued New York officials in an attempt to overturn the state's idiotic ban on MMA, a prohibition that drives the sport underground and exists chiefly because of the efforts of one misguided moralist. Several prominent fighters, including light heavyweight champ Jo...
Columbia Bans Marching Band From 0-9 Football Team's Finale Because The Band Made Fun Of The Team
Aw, horseshit. The Ivy League fun police have lost their damn minds. Columbia's banned its marching band from playing at the football team's final game this weekend, because, after the last game, the band made fun of the team with new lyrics to the school's fight song. Please....
Meanwhile, In Competitive Sports From Wednesday Night
This moment of zen brought to you by the 1-3-1 and CBS....
Tampa Bay Will Take In Albert Haynesworth
ESPN's Adam Schefter reports that the Tampa Bay Bucs have claimed Albert Haynesworth just a day after the Patriots released him (sentimental Belichick: "It just didn't work out"). This is an experiment that is almost proven to fail by now, but perhaps the warm air will be good for him. [Twitter]...