aba Page 132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Uncivil: How Paul Finebaum Keeps The SEC's Dixie Aroused
The Southeastern Conference (SEC) is the brawniest thing in college football right now, and a scrawny man, Paul Finebaum, sits atop it....

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Appear To Be Setting The Bar High In Their Coaching Search
Per Chris Mortensen, the Bucs will have an interview tomorrow with 68-year-old Marty Schottenheimer, who hasn't coached in the NFL since 2006. Guess they figure they have to reach the playoffs before they can lose in them. [via]...

Harvey Updyke Jr. On Bourbon Street, Where There Are No Trees For Him To Poison
Your morning roundup for Jan. 9, the day we learned another way to open a beer bottle. Photo via @IzzyGould. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Top Football Recruit Makes College Decision On Live Television, Much To His Mother's Visible Displeasure
Landon Collins is the top football recruit from the state of Louisiana, and the defensive back was heavily recruited by top college programs. Having narrowed his commitment decision to LSU and Alabama, he chose the Crimson Tide live during ESPN's broadcast of the Under Armour high school all-star ...

Demba Ba Drew First Blood For Newcastle Against Man U With This Fantastic Volley
In a week that's belonged to the giant-killers, Newcastle's aiming to be the next David and has a 1-0 edge on Manchester United thanks to this perfectly-placed volley by Demba Ba. [Fox Soccer]...

And Now The Bucs Have Fired Raheem Morris
Morris, like Steve Spagnuolo, is to some extent a casualty of his team's unexpected success last year—the Bucs won ten games (playing a limp schedule), and presumably management thought the team would improve upon or at least equal that this year. Of course, the Bucs suck, and so they went 4-12, wit...

Albert Haynesworth Is The Worst
From Peter King: "Great note by @AdamSchefter: Bucs are 0-7 with Albert Haynesworth, Pats are 7-0 since waiving him." Three cheers for the disgruntled one!...

Watch Claude Giroux Set Up A Goal With A Pass To Himself Off The Boards
Giroux said he had tested the boards at the St. Pete Times Forum during the Flyers' morning skate, and he puts what he discovered to the test here, to dazzling effect. The subsequent shot Giroux took bounced right to teammate Scott Hartnell for a goal. Which is all well and good. The Lightning sti...

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...

Today In Sexual News From Sandusky, Ohio
"PERKINS TOWNSHIP, Ohio- A Sandusky woman was arrested on Sunday afternoon after she allegedly beat her husband because he refused her sex. ... According to the report, after a day of shopping and a stop at a local bar, Vera and Harold Baaske returned home. Harold told officers that Vera wanted to ...

Deion Sanders To Tony Romo: "Who Gets In Your Butt?"
He was just trying to see if Romo has anyone willing to challenge him in the way Tom Brady was, but Sanders definitely could have worded his question a bit better. [h/t to Jackie A.]...

Artem Anisimov Breaks Out The Boomstick, Righteously Pisses Off The Lightning
After scoring his fifth goal of the season, a shorthanded tally in a tie game, Rangers center Artem Anisimov lowered the sights, pumped his stick, and let fly with one of the more demonstrative celebrations of the year. The Lightning took offense and swarmed Anisimov, setting off a penalty bonanza...


Former Dolphin Says Nick Saban Calmly Stepped Over Convulsing Teammate In '05
We'll make this one brief, because if it is true, than it is stale by about six years—but we do jump at any opportunity to point out instances in which Nick Saban might have behaved like a dick, and this anecdote certainly qualifies....

Nick Saban Was Irrational For Not Being <em>More</em> Selfish
My favorite family legend involves my dad's baby sister—my "Тетка," in Macedonian—Bonnie. As the story goes, Bonnie's first-grade class organized a Brownie troop, and their first act was to elect a troop leader. When they counted the votes, Bonnie was the only girl who hadn't voted for herself. Upse...

Beating Victim Identified LeGarrette Blount As "The Leader" In September Attack, But Didn't Press Charges
What's known is this: On Sept. 11, just after the Tampa Bay Buccaneers opened the season with a loss at home to the Detroit Lions, a 34-year-old man named Gary Holmer was severely beaten by two men after a minor car accident in which his vehicle knocked the mirror off another vehicle outside an apa...

Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids
John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has ne...
![LSU's Official Online Store Has Been Hacked To Display Alabama Merchandise [UPDATE: Just A Glitch!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4qzoyxk3nejpg.jpg)
LSU's Official Online Store Has Been Hacked To Display Alabama Merchandise [UPDATE: Just A Glitch!]
Oh, it's on now. Too bad the game isn't for another, uh, month?...

Photoshop Contest: Raiders LB Rolando McClain's Fantastic Perp Walk Grin
When we first saw the above photo of Rolando McClain after he was arrested yesterday in his hometown of Decatur, Ala., on misdemeanor gun and assault charges, we kind of thought it had already been doctored. I mean, just look at that facial expression, at that playful tilt of the head. But the phot...

The Rays' New Rape Problem
The Tampa Bay Rays just traded for Mariners reliever Josh Lueke, a righty who's undervalued because he dodged a rape charge a few years back. Our resident Rays fan, Mobutu Sese Seko, is not pleased. TB brass is advised to read his debunking of the various pro-Lueke factions sooner rather than later....