aba Page 133 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
UAE Soccer Player May Be Punished For "Disrespectful"-But-Also-Awesome Backheel Penalty Kick
On Sunday, Theyab Awana, a 21-year-old winger with the United Arab Emirates national team, scored on a penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon. Only he did it off of a 180 and using his heel. UAE was up 5-2 at the time, and they ultimately won 7-2, so the stakes weren't very high for either tea...
Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column
In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....
Ted Williams Could Not Make It To The Rays Game, For Various Reasons
Tipster Joe sends along this wire photo from the weekend, with an accurate-if-unnecessary caption:...
With DJ Kitty Puppet And Wiggles Concert, The Rays Might Have MLB's Best Promotions
Tampa Bay's ownership group finds the extra two percent, as explained in Jonah Keri's recent book of the same title. They do the little things. They work on the margins....
American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Ruin NHL Awards With Confident, Butchered Pronunciation
Real Housewives Camille Grammer—Kelsey's ex—and Adrienne Maloof—sister of those bankrupt rich man-children who allegedly own the Sacramento Kings—presented the Lady Byng Trophy to Tampa Bay Lightning right wing Martin St. Louis at Wednesday's NHL Awards show. St. Louis is a six-time All-Star, he w...
Oh Great, They're Letting 8-Year-Old Girls Fight In Muay Thai Rings Now
"Princess" Jasmine Parr and Georgina "Punch Out" Barton will do battle in Australia today. (Hell, they already may have, what with the International Date Line and all). Parr is the eight-year-old daughter of kickboxing champion John Wayne Parr; Barton the brood of some similarly irresponsible pare...
Too <em>Moneyball</em> For Their Own Good: How The Mets Screwed Up The Kazmir Trade
The Angels released Scott Kazmir on Wednesday, and we had seen it coming for years. Hitters clobbered Kazmir in 2009, 2010, and, in his one 2011 start. He lost his control and velocity simultaneously, and stopped striking hitters out....
German Newspaper Credits Dirk, "First White MVP Since Larry Bird," With Defeating "Ghetto Basketball"
We regret to be working in translation here, because this piece, from Die Welt's Peter Schilling, might just be more objectionable in German. Here's the translated version, working from this original....
The Twitter Flameout Of Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner
SB Nation discovered ol' Harvey on Twitter on Friday. By Saturday, he had called it a Twitter career....
Far Better Than This Goalie Scoring Is The Suspiciously Laid-Back Commentary That Accompanies His Goal
Goalies don't often score, especially not from the hinterlands behind the halfway line. But when they do, they should all be so lucky as to have two exceedingly mellow West Indian commentators celebrate their exploits. The particulars of this goal come to us from tipster Sam F, who reports that th...
Why Grantland Rice Sucked
Grantland Rice was everything his namesake website should aspire not to be. He was a pandering mythmaker who wrote verse and prose the way Thomas Kinkade paints carriage lanes ("The Hills of Fame still beckon where the Paths of Glory lead …"). Reading him today is not unlike looking at your maiden a...
The Rays Have More Or Less Every Pick In Today's MLB Draft
The amateur draft is today. If you didn't hear about it, don't blame MLB: they're trying their best to promote it, even leaking the announcement of the first overall selection to their own site. The overall lack of publicity means that Tampa Bay's surreal achievement is going unnoticed by the averag...
Network Airing Stanley Cup Finals Does Not Know Who Is In Stanley Cup Finals
This is what you get for slashing Dick Ebersol's $600 billion promo budget....
Deadspin Classic: Kellen Winslow, Forever Not An Actual Soldier
On Memorial Day, we figured it might be worthwhile to pay tribute to those who lost their ACLs in motorcycle accidents, shortly after fighting for The U. Perspective, you know, is free. (Jack Dickey)...
Watch Marco Materazzi Dump A Giant Bucket Of Water On Soccer Analyst After Winning Italian Cup
Materazzi, you'll remember, is most famous for being on the receiving end of Zinedine Zidane's headbutt in the 2006 World Cup. (They've reconciled recently!)...
Rays Fan, A Lawyer, Ejected For Wearing A "Yankees Suck" T-Shirt, Surely Won't Pursue Any Legal Recompense
This is a story about Melvin H. Little, a Tampa Bay Rays $20,000-a-year season-ticket holder from way back when they still had Devil in their names, taking his two sons to a ballgame the other night. They had good seats, about 10 rows behind the plate. He sported a "Yankees Suck" T-shirt because, w...
If You Have Front-Row Seats At An Indians-Sox Game, What Else Are You Going To Do But Shotgun Beers?
Your morning roundup for May 25, the day we were "spoon-fed gold leaf and pharmaceutical cocaine by Ferran Adria himself." Image courtesy tipster Rosina....
Here's A Photo Of Every Single Tampa Bay Lightning Fan
All 800 of them, sending their beloved team off yesterday. Organized on Facebook (of course) and by the team (grassroots it is not), every single man woman or child that roots or ever rooted for the Lightning gathered in a parking lot at Tampa International Aiport and stood in the shape of a lightni...
Your Bruins/Lightning Game Four Open Thread
Bruins just took a 1-0 lead on Patrice Bergeron's goal, halfway through the first period. Victor Hedman's fault. Seems like he's been doing that a lot this series....