aba Page 136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Dumbass Who Blamed Bryan Stow For Getting Beaten Into A Coma Wants To Watch Michael Vick Blow His Knees Out
Writes dumbass John Steigerwald about Michael Vick's $100 million contract, "Here's hoping he blows out his knee on his next snap."...

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
It's the first big college-football Saturday of the season. Yay. No. 18 Ohio State, which lost its The in a haze of Tresselmanic scandal, plays Akron at noon (ESPN). Also at noon on the WWL, No. 23 Auburn hosts Utah State (2) and Northwestern visits Boston College (U)....

Nick Saban Was A Dick To Will Muschamp's Poor Mother
With college football—nay, SEC football— arriving this weekend, and without great expectations for the Gators, it's time for the Palm Beach Post to stoke our football interest by apprising us of blood feuds....

David Price Has 12 K's Through Five Innings Against The Blue Jays. You Should Probably Watch.
Via ESPN Stats & Info: "David Price: 12 K through 5 IP. That matches what Clemens had through 5 IP in each of his two 20-K 9-IP games and 1 more than Wood thru 5 IP."...

Chad Ochocinco Says He Will Reimburse The Buccaneers Rookie Who Jacked Him Up And Got Fined $20K
Rookie Buccaneers linebacker Mason Foster may have two first names, but he doesn't have a lot of money. He's a rookie, and a third-round pick, which means $20,000 means more to him than it does to, say, Chad Ochocinco, the Patriots receiver Foster hit in last Thursday's preseason game....

Bucs DT Gerald McCoy Thinks Very Little Of Chiefs Backup Tyler Palko, Or Is It "Calabaloo," Maybe?
The Bill Belichick machine throttled Tampa Bay last night. It was 28-0 at the half, Brady and Ochocinco clicking like they were young lovers. But Buccaneers defensive tackle Gerald McCoy saw the whole thing as a learning experience, although not an experience to learn the prior opposing quarterback'...

Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....

Science! Picks Your BCS Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Predictalator is back, determining the participants and outcomes of every Bowl game....

If He Knew How, Nick Saban Would Troll Football Websites To Get Back At Reporters
University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban's "first news conference of the preseason practice schedule" is annually a seminal moment in Tuscaloosa. At this year's FNCotPPS, Saban expressed dismay with the speed by which stories/rumors/innuendo spreads in the information age. Sayeth Saban to t...

These Deadbeat Parents Fell For The Old "Free Tickets To The Iron Bowl" Trick
The Lee County Sheriff's Office in Opelika, Ala. took a creative approach to rounding up a few parents who'd fallen way behind in their child support payments: they told them they'd won free tickets to the annual Iron Bowl, and then they arrested them when they came to collect on the prize. It's l...

Darren Rovell's Rays Jersey Breaks His Seventh Rule Of Twitter
Darren Rovell, CNBC's sports business reporter and self-professed master of the Twitter, sang the Canadian and U.S. national anthems at the Blue Jays-Rays game today at Tropicana Field. He did a fine job. But he forgot rule number seven of his 100 Twitter rules to tweet by:...

Just A Couple Of The Death Threats Clay Travis Is Getting For Reporting On Alabama
Over at his new site, Clay Travis has been hammering away at a mini-scandal that sees Alabama players seemingly signing memorabilia in exchange for menswear, and the store owner later selling said memorabilia. It's like OSU's tattoo parlor, but with suits....

Lute Olson, Billy Gillispie (And Other College Coaches You Probably Hate) Appear To Have Lost Lots In Ponzi Scheme
College coaches are probably paid too much, especially when you consider how much—nothing—players make. John Calipari just got a deal for $36.5 million. Jim Calhoun resents being asked about why he's the highest-paid state employee of Connecticut....

UAE Soccer Player May Be Punished For "Disrespectful"-But-Also-Awesome Backheel Penalty Kick
On Sunday, Theyab Awana, a 21-year-old winger with the United Arab Emirates national team, scored on a penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon. Only he did it off of a 180 and using his heel. UAE was up 5-2 at the time, and they ultimately won 7-2, so the stakes weren't very high for either tea...

Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column
In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....

Ted Williams Could Not Make It To The Rays Game, For Various Reasons
Tipster Joe sends along this wire photo from the weekend, with an accurate-if-unnecessary caption:...

With DJ Kitty Puppet And Wiggles Concert, The Rays Might Have MLB's Best Promotions
Tampa Bay's ownership group finds the extra two percent, as explained in Jonah Keri's recent book of the same title. They do the little things. They work on the margins....

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Ruin NHL Awards With Confident, Butchered Pronunciation
Real Housewives Camille Grammer—Kelsey's ex—and Adrienne Maloof—sister of those bankrupt rich man-children who allegedly own the Sacramento Kings—presented the Lady Byng Trophy to Tampa Bay Lightning right wing Martin St. Louis at Wednesday's NHL Awards show. St. Louis is a six-time All-Star, he w...

Oh Great, They're Letting 8-Year-Old Girls Fight In Muay Thai Rings Now
"Princess" Jasmine Parr and Georgina "Punch Out" Barton will do battle in Australia today. (Hell, they already may have, what with the International Date Line and all). Parr is the eight-year-old daughter of kickboxing champion John Wayne Parr; Barton the brood of some similarly irresponsible pare...