aba Page 137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Too <em>Moneyball</em> For Their Own Good: How The Mets Screwed Up The Kazmir Trade
The Angels released Scott Kazmir on Wednesday, and we had seen it coming for years. Hitters clobbered Kazmir in 2009, 2010, and, in his one 2011 start. He lost his control and velocity simultaneously, and stopped striking hitters out....

German Newspaper Credits Dirk, "First White MVP Since Larry Bird," With Defeating "Ghetto Basketball"
We regret to be working in translation here, because this piece, from Die Welt's Peter Schilling, might just be more objectionable in German. Here's the translated version, working from this original....

The Twitter Flameout Of Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner
SB Nation discovered ol' Harvey on Twitter on Friday. By Saturday, he had called it a Twitter career....

Far Better Than This Goalie Scoring Is The Suspiciously Laid-Back Commentary That Accompanies His Goal
Goalies don't often score, especially not from the hinterlands behind the halfway line. But when they do, they should all be so lucky as to have two exceedingly mellow West Indian commentators celebrate their exploits. The particulars of this goal come to us from tipster Sam F, who reports that th...

Why Grantland Rice Sucked
Grantland Rice was everything his namesake website should aspire not to be. He was a pandering mythmaker who wrote verse and prose the way Thomas Kinkade paints carriage lanes ("The Hills of Fame still beckon where the Paths of Glory lead …"). Reading him today is not unlike looking at your maiden a...

The Rays Have More Or Less Every Pick In Today's MLB Draft
The amateur draft is today. If you didn't hear about it, don't blame MLB: they're trying their best to promote it, even leaking the announcement of the first overall selection to their own site. The overall lack of publicity means that Tampa Bay's surreal achievement is going unnoticed by the averag...

Network Airing Stanley Cup Finals Does Not Know Who Is In Stanley Cup Finals
This is what you get for slashing Dick Ebersol's $600 billion promo budget....

Deadspin Classic: Kellen Winslow, Forever Not An Actual Soldier
On Memorial Day, we figured it might be worthwhile to pay tribute to those who lost their ACLs in motorcycle accidents, shortly after fighting for The U. Perspective, you know, is free. (Jack Dickey)...

Watch Marco Materazzi Dump A Giant Bucket Of Water On Soccer Analyst After Winning Italian Cup
Materazzi, you'll remember, is most famous for being on the receiving end of Zinedine Zidane's headbutt in the 2006 World Cup. (They've reconciled recently!)...

Rays Fan, A Lawyer, Ejected For Wearing A "Yankees Suck" T-Shirt, Surely Won't Pursue Any Legal Recompense
This is a story about Melvin H. Little, a Tampa Bay Rays $20,000-a-year season-ticket holder from way back when they still had Devil in their names, taking his two sons to a ballgame the other night. They had good seats, about 10 rows behind the plate. He sported a "Yankees Suck" T-shirt because, w...

If You Have Front-Row Seats At An Indians-Sox Game, What Else Are You Going To Do But Shotgun Beers?
Your morning roundup for May 25, the day we were "spoon-fed gold leaf and pharmaceutical cocaine by Ferran Adria himself." Image courtesy tipster Rosina....

Here's A Photo Of Every Single Tampa Bay Lightning Fan
All 800 of them, sending their beloved team off yesterday. Organized on Facebook (of course) and by the team (grassroots it is not), every single man woman or child that roots or ever rooted for the Lightning gathered in a parking lot at Tampa International Aiport and stood in the shape of a lightni...

Your Bruins/Lightning Game Four Open Thread
Bruins just took a 1-0 lead on Patrice Bergeron's goal, halfway through the first period. Victor Hedman's fault. Seems like he's been doing that a lot this series....

Nobody Wants To Be The Next Rex Ryan
HBO's trying to pick a team to follow for this year's edition of "Hard Knocks," but between the uncertainty of the lockout and the sometimes unwanted publicity generated by recent shows, they can't find their franchise. The Broncos have made clear that they're not interested, and last week the Bucca...

Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Offer Up A Nazi Death-Camp Gas For Use As Dirk Nowitzki's Nickname
And it was Scott Raab (yesterday). Oh, don't get all "How dare you belittle millions of deaths for a joke the morally depraved community doesn't even so much as giggle at?" He apologized 13 hours later, while nobly driving page views to a story he wrote last year about retired U.S. autoworker/convi...

Your Lightning-Bruins Game Two Open Thread
In Game One Saturday night, Tampa Bay blitzed the Bruins, scoring three goals in a span of 90 seconds in the first period, winning 5-2....

West Ham Can't Even Keep Its Hooligans Out Of The Team's Year-End Banquet
West Ham United threw itself a little end-of-season awards banquet on Monday night in London (to celebrate, ostensibly, West Ham's relegation after finishing last in the Premier League). Some of the team's fans attended the banquet, which turned out to be a very bad idea indeed:...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Depending upon when you read this, game one of the Eastern Conference Finals is just about to start, has already done so or did so long ago. Which means you either have no idea, are finding out or long ago learned whether the Tampa Bay Lightning or Boston Bruins are leading the series. Tense action...

Alabama Football Player Found Dead; <em>ESPN Insider</em> Has The Story On Which Player Can Best Replace Him
The University of Alabama has confirmed that Aaron Douglas, an offensive lineman, was found dead in Florida this morning. There are no more details regarding the nature of his death, but ESPN Insider's Albert Lin is ahead of the news in some awful way: earlier this afternoon, the "Rumor Central" wri...

The NBA Playoffs Are Less Important Than Hockey, Oprah
One of the underrated subplots of the playoffs is when non-sports events get scheduled for our nation's arenas, and the conflicts it causes when a team goes deep. We've had two notable instances of it already, with the Lightning and Bulls running up against two of the most powerful forces in enterta...