aba Page 143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ford Field Pants Dropper Can Totally Explain This
As you would probably expect, when one dude is caught on camera choking out another dude who isn't wearing pants the natural response is usually, "It's not what you think!" Well, the gentleman on top has finally spoken up....

Binghamton Zoo Doesn't Appreciate The Comparisons To That "Blight" Of A Basketball Team
The Binghamton University basketball program has had its share of image problems thanks to many of the off-field indiscretions of its players, but don't you dare compare those animals to the ones in the actual zoo....

Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....

Lenny Dykstra Now Reduced To Stealing From Wayne Gretzky
Dykstra may not have a wad of cash anymore, but at least he has two multi-million dollar homes. Whoops! Seems he's been banned from entering those, because Nails has been stealing anything not nailed down....

Lenny Dykstra's Entire Career Is Now Up For Sale
The "Flying Higher" Kid is auctioning off pretty much every piece of memorabilia from his baseball career, including his 1986 World Series ring. I didn't notice exactly when it happened, but this story has officially crossed line into "sad." [NYDN/BusinessInsider]...

Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?
Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all!...

Mark Whicker Has Left The Yard Before
The year was 1991. Journalist and ex-Marine Terry Anderson had just been freed after nearly seven years of captivity in Lebanon. Seven years is a long time. Luckily, a columnist named Mark Whicker was around to put it in perspective....

If Ya Can't Beat Em, Dress Up Like A Lady
So the saying goes. Here's rookie fuck David Price, preparing to "work his rookie magic" in the South Bronx after last night's 4-2 loss at Yankee stadium. [ESPN]...

Alabama Fan Is Not Pleased About That Last Call
Not only did college football return to us last weekend, it brought back a classic genre of the YouTube age—the overstimulated SEC fan boiling over with rage as they watch their team fail on TV....

Mark Whicker Leaves The Yard
I do not say this lightly: What you're about to read is the single worst piece of sports journalism ever committed to the page....

Rampage Jackson Ditches Upcoming Bout to Star in A-Team Movie
I wonder which character he'll play?...

Jeff Jagodzinski Has Not Had A Good Year
Tampa Bay has not even seen their new offense in real-time competition yet, but they have apparently seen enough to know that it stinks. They fired coordinator Jeff Jagodzinski today, just one week before Opening Day....

Tampa Bay Rays Employee Takes It Upon Himself To Keep Playoff Hopes Alive
And the best way to possibly do that is to plant a fake bomb as a "practical joke" in Tropicana Field before the Red Sox series. The Rays are still six games back in the AL Wild Card race. [StPeteTimes]...

A Rough Night For Alabama High School Football
A head coach and a referee died in two separate incidents during the opening night of high school football in Alabama on Friday....

Bankrupt Lenny Dykstra Reduced To Sleeping In His Car
This is not one of those "full of shit" liars trying to make Lenny Dykstra look bad. By his own admission, the stock market whiz kid is now sleeping in his car. So there is a level below rock bottom?...

Father Chooses Alabama Football Player Over His Own Daughter In "Lovers' Quarrel"
Alabama sophomore Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend were both arrested and charged with domestic violence/harassment last night—and the father of the girl is not happy. After all, it's completely his daughter's fault for picking on that poor linebacker....

Buccaneers' Aqib Talib Jumps On The Arrest Bandwagon
Is all this terrible legal trouble dissuading NFL players from punching people in the head? Not Tampa's Aqib Talib! Busted last night for simple battery and resisting arrest. What would be considered "complicated battery?"...

Why Your Team Sucks: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Nick Saban Signs Infant To Letter Of Intent
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Breaking: The World Is a Magical, Wonderful Place, and Bucco Bruce Is Back
This year the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will once again wear the most garish and weird shade of salmon/orange, and Orlando Bloom will again intimidate opponents from their ridiculous helmets. Feel the magic!...