aba Page 144 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Birmingham's Fake Basketball Tournament Causes International Incident
Venezuela's national basketball team flew all the way to Alabama to participate in an international tournament, only to discover they were the only international team there. Also, the "tournament" was just one game. You've done it again, Birmingham, Alabama....
Recruiting Information Wants To Be Free
It's hard to determine which end of the recruiting process is more corrupt. In one corner are the coaches who feed egos to drive theirs; in the other are the AAU type who extort high schoolers' phone numbers for cash....
And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis
I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard....
Lenny Dykstra Would Still Like You To Trust Him With Your Money
Remarkably, Lenny Kyle Dykstra won't quit just because he filed for bankruptcy. No, teammates, it's just a bump in the road. He's still got the golden touch, so jump in while the water's freezing, etc....
Lenny Kyle Dykstra Slides Headfirst Into Rock Bottom
The legend of Financial Wizard Lenny Kyle Dykstra, last seen "flying higher", has finally shriveled up and died: The Dude officially filed for bankruptcy today. I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fell out of your chair....
A Starburst Is Born
To one Tampa Bay Rays fan, these stars are not similar. To a Florida prosecutor, the blue star is a shameless rip of the yellow star. Which might put the fan in the clink for a year....
John Daly's Bus Does Not Fit In There
John Daly's Magic Bus continues to roll around the country, but it's running a little bit lower than usual after he knocked off the top going through a low-clearance tunnel....
Jim Calhoun Is Unbreakable
12 miles into his charity bike race for cancer research, UConn's 67-year-old head coach hit a pot hole, fell, and broke five ribs. After he crossed the finish line, he fainted from dehydration and was hospitalized. Out today, though. [NYDN]...
Alabama Football Forced To Give Up Wins
Alabama's football program will be placed on probation today and be forced to vacate at least 10 (and as many as 21) wins from the 2005-07 season. That ... hurts?...
Twitter Posts Aren't Real Journalism, Silly!
Like many newspaper reporters, Tampa Bay beat writer Rick Stroud uses Twitter to connect with his readers and talk about whatever happens to be on his mind—but if you're stupid enough to take his Twits at face value then that's your own stupid fault....
Another Prerequisite For Referees: Superhuman Vision
The NCAA is expected to enact a policy Wednesday to cut down on flopping by help-side defenders sliding under the basket. Here's the catch: The semi-circle to enforce the rule won't actually be painted, only imaginary, like the chances of this new rule ever working....
It Only Took 25 Innings...
But the University Of Texas beat Boston College with a one-out single to secure a 3-2 victory. It was the longest NCAA baseball game in history. Other records of note: Texas reliever Austin Wood pitched 12 1/3 innings of no-hit ball; two Longhorns had a record-tying 12 at-bats." [MLB.com]...
Stephen Strasburg Can't Even Save His College Team
Stephen Strasburg, who almost every scouting executive in the world cites as the most can't-miss prospect ever, struck out 15 last night in the NCAA tournament, but took the loss by allowing two earned runs in a 5-1 loss. The defeat likely ended his college career. It was 3-years-old....
"It's A Good Thing I Have A Husband To Promote My Song"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
The Caliparis Continue To Use Social Networking Tools To Bash Pat Forde
Her father's former program is under NCAA investigation, but Erin Calipari knows who to blame and how to do it: call out ESPN's Pat Forde on Facebook....
One-Handed Baller Nabs His Scholarship
Turns out, being a 6-foot-10 center was more important than having a full left arm for Kevin Laue, the subject of a New York Times profile and the recent recipient of a scholarship to play basketball for Manhattan College. How did Manhattan's coaches discover Laue? The Times' story, naturally. [NYT]...
Jeter On The Lam After Bank Robbery, Support Of PatriotsBlue Jays
Chad Floyd Jeter is wanted by police after allegedly robbing a bank in Alabama, while wearing a New England PatriotsBlue Jays cap misidentified by Alabama police as a Patriots hat. (Who did you think I was talking about?) He is considered armed and dangerously clutch. [Wicked Good Sports]...
Chris Hovan Did Not Kill A Doe, Wife Says
From last Friday's "Deadspin Deleted Scenes:" It appears the reader who wrote in about the Bucs' lineman's alleged late night conquest was mistaken. Shocker. That's what Chris Hovan's wife, Jaimi, told BucStats.com....
Don't Make Any Loud Noises While Tyler Hansbrough Writes His Name
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Gary “Baba Booey” Dell'abate Becomes Latest Celebrity To Emasculate Himself With First-Pitch Disaster
This is truly awful. It's actually worse than his wince-worthy ex-girlfriend apology videos. But at least we now know who taught him how to throw a baseball. [YouTube]...