aba Page 144 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mark Ingram's Money-Laundering Father Gets Extended Sentence For Watching Sugar Bowl
Mark Ingram, father of Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram, will serve an extra 27 months in federal "[Office Space quote]" prison after jumping bail to watch Alabama's 2009 Sugar Bowl loss to Utah....

This Is Now The Most Happening Place To Be In All Of Tampa Bay
Because it's St. Pete, and it's always 70 degrees and gorgeous, no one wants to go to a Rays game on a Friday evening. That's all changing, as the team plans to turn the Trop into a "baseball nightclub."...

Peter King Leads The League In Obliviousness, Strange Notions Of Justice (UPDATE)
Whenever a football story drifts beyond football and contracts and whatever Brett Favre just text-messaged from his ride mower, we can always count on Peter King to give voice to the most oblivious and casually insensitive thought in his head....

Tampa Bay Rays: A Nuclear Switzerland
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Tampa Bay Rays....

Olbermann Joins The Sports Fella Pile-On
On Simmons: "I am again left to marvel how somebody can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly."...

Sports Fella Doubles Down On The Stupid
Remember that foolish thing Bill Simmons said the other day about Tiger and Muhammad Ali? Well, Bill has taken a step back, read some old Sports Illustrateds, and decided to be foolish again, only at much greater length. [Charles Pierce]...

Sportswriter Gil LeBreton Compares Vancouver 2010 To Berlin 1936
The Vancouver Olympics were an impressive display of Canadian pride and ambition, culminating in the most dominating hometown performance in the history of the Winter Games. You know who else liked dominating the Olympics, don't you? HITLER!...

Sports Fella Leaves The Yard
OK, what in the name of Ho Chi Minh is Bill Simmons talking about here? Muhammad Ali and 'Nam? Tiger keeping his pecker out of the killing fields of Spearmint Rhino? What?...

Montreal Columnist Breaks Out The Nazi Metaphor A Little Prematurely
The Flyers have a reputation as a dirty team. Fine. It's okay to hate them. But a February match-up between two teams barely in the playoff picture is no reason to resort to Hitler comparisons. Save it for the playoffs....

Last Night's Winner: Whatever Passes For Roy Williams's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the little man on Roy Williams's shoulder, who prevailed upon the coach to say he's very, very sorry....

Roy Williams Is A Clueless Dick
North Carolina head coach Roy Williams has previously demonstrated his complete lack of perspective on more than one occasion, but he still wants you to know that the Haitian earthquake was nothing compared to losing to Virginia at home....

Thank The Lord This Crimson Tide Fan Left His Head-Gear At Home
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...

Paul Shirley To Haiti: Go Help Yourself (UPDATE)
Onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters Paul Shirley has published his thoughts on the stricken Haitian people. Namely, that they put themselves in this mess, so he's not about to help. This may not end well....

Paraguayan Soccer Star Shot In Head, Crime Scene Photos Hit Twitter
Salvador Cabañas—a striker for Paraguay's World Cup team—was shot in the head last night in Mexico. He is in critical condition, with the bullet still lodged in his brain, but that's not going to stop ghoulish rubbernecking....

How's That Sun Belt Hockey Working Out?
The Lightning reportedly had to get advances on their revenue-sharing and television payments to make payroll this month. Might as well give the Rangers an advance on Vinny Lecavalier now, then. [St. Pete Times]...

Russia Turns The Dreamtime Into A Nightmare
Aboriginal Australians are none too pleased with the routine the ice dancing favorites have planned for the Olympics, and it's not hard to see why. Look at them. They look like Mardi Gras came to Ferngully....

Peter King Gets To The Core Of The Gaines Adams Tragedy
"[O]ne of the sad football things about the death of Gaines Adams, the Tampa Bay-turned-Chicago defensive end who died Sunday of cardiac arrest at 26, is that he was about to be coached into his potential by Rod Marinelli..."...

A Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
The Sun-Sentinel has put online a database of more than 374,000 emergency room visits. We present some highlights from the worlds of sports, sex and...other....

Gaines Adams, Dead At 26
The Bears DE was rushed to the hospital early this morning with an apparent heart attack, and was pronounced dead. An autopsy is scheduled for later in the day. [Greenville News]...