aba Page 159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Look, It's Football On Monday! At Night!
If you're the type of entirely hypothetical person whose fantasy team has degraded to the point that Steve Gradkowski is your starting quarterback — see that? We got our Kornheiser on right there — you might be particularly fired up for tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Tampa Bay Bucc...
Donovan McNabb Has A Weak Constitution
Amazingly, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb did this before Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant kicked a 62-yard field goal — with room to spare! — to beat his team yesterday....
The Buccaneers Want To Kill Carson Palmer (With Howie Mandel!)
Proving once again that no one is funnier than those who work for the official Web sites of professional football teams, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, in preparation for their game Sunday against quarterback Carson Palmer and the Cincinnati Bengals, have put together a little flash intro to their home...
For Those Who Like Their Sports Bouncy And Confusing
The sport is bossaball, and it's sweeping the nation (what nation, we have no idea). On second thought, judging from this video, it's possibly Brazil; because there's about a zillion shots of female bikini dancing and relatively little bossaball footage. From the bossaball web site:...
This Man Is Extremely, EXTREMELY Old
This bespeckled elderly gentleman is Silas Simmons, and he was recently discovered to be the oldest living Negro Leagues ballplayer. He is 110 ... wha? He's 110??!! And he's 111 next month? Jesus....
NFL Pants Party: NFC South
Well, no matter what happens with the NFC South, we will always know they have the most adventurous cheerleaders. Nothing to turn up one's nose at....
NFL Season Preview: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
If We Know Anything, It's That You Can't Beat The Greeks At Basketball
Looks like The Mighty MJD won his bet. We glumly welcome you this morning with the news that Team USA lost to Greece 101-95 in the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships....
We Saw Chris Simms Make A Spinach Dip In A Loaf Of Sourdough Bread Once
Now. We don't want to cast aspersions. We know how life in an NFL locker room goes. You're with each other for half the year, sweating, bleeding, killing yourself out there for the sake of a common goal. You develop a kinship that cannot be quantified by any conventional standards....
The Closer: Delmon Young Receives Welcoming Gift
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Allen Iverson's Mom Set To Revolutionize The ABA
Ann Iverson, mother of NBA superstar Allen, has become the owner of an ABA franchise. Richmond will be the city, and there's not a nickname yet, though "Iversons" or "Answers" might be a good bet....
Must Have Passing Baseball Interest
It's tough to find a good job sometimes. Lord knows we rattled around for almost a decade waiting for this one. If you haven't found your dream job yet, the Devil Rays might have a gig for you....
USA Basketball Barely Escapes (And We Don't Mean "From China")
We don't mean to ruin it for those of you who had your Brazilian Tivos all set up, but USA Basketball just had its first serious scare in preparation for the World Championships, edging Brazil 90-86. The Americans led by 14 at halftime, but Brazil — led by the immortal Tiago Splitter — closed it lat...
Your Hollywood Minute
There's crazy, and then there's that special brand of crazy that is Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo. What would you do if you were a major league pitcher going for your 10th win of the season, as Arroyo will be doing on Thursday? Why, you'd dedicate the win to actress Bo Derek, naturally. Because she wa...
Free Darko, Live On Scene, And Loving Jim Gray
Generally speaking, we think it's silly for online writers — who are the only ones free from the PR/press pass/everybody-play-nice circle jerk of commercialized athletics — to salivate over press passes as if they had, at last, been invited to the ball. But we will make an exception when the folks f...
Evidently, Larry Flynt Is In The Basketball Court Painting Business
I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this. What you are looking at is the court on which Team USA drubbed Puerto Rico last night in an exhibition basketball game. And, as was noted at sethgunderson.com, the lane looks a little... well, penile....
Hey, Guys ... You're Still On Camera
You know, we continue to find it amazing, in this day of MLB Extra Innings and MLB.tv, that any television announcer would speak freely during the commercial break. Dude: There's a microphone on you. Someone's going to hear....
New Team USA Looks Like Old Team USA
The preliminary/final/tentative/whatever they're calling it roster for USA Basketball has been set, and the talk continues to be about how "cohesive" and "team-oriented" the new roster is. (It helps when you have a leader who just happens to coach basketball.)...
Delmon Young ... Still A Dick
For those who might have missed it, Delmon Young, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays phenom who winged his bat at an umpire in April, has finished up his 50- (actually 49-)game suspension. Has he come back all contrite and humbled? Not exactly, says Rays Index in a recap of an interview Young gave MinorLeague...