aba Page 159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Day The Poon Died ...
I don't wish to put a damper on your college football fun, but I have very bad news. So, please, stop what you're doing for a second, sit down, and maybe chug some hard liquor. SEC Poon is dead. (I'm sorry.)...
It's The NFC South Pants Party
To the NFC South! We don't want to speak out of turn here, but we think the NFC South might be our least favorite division in football. There's the Saints — that's Kenny Chesney in that picture, of course — and then ... ugh....
The D-Rays Have Funk
In another of their amusing attempts to garner some positive publicity, the Devil Rays hosted '70s Disco Night at the Trop on Saturday. Of all the wacky scoreboard pictures, this one, and of course Delmon Young's, are our favorites....
You're Doin' A Heckuva Job, 'Bama
Remember those federal tax breaks that were supposed to be for New Orleans Katrina victims to rebuild their homes and businesses? You'll be happy to know that someone, at least, is taking advantage of them. Developers in Tuscaloosa, Ala., are using the Katrina tax shelters to construct $1 million co...
NFL Season Preview: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
In A Split Second, A Career Ends
Remember Tyron Prothro? The Alabama wide receiver was one of the most exciting players in college football until he, in the most gruesome fashion, broke his leg in a game against Florida two years ago. (You can see it in this photo, if you dare.)...
Barry In Tampa ... What Might Have Been
As we continue our plodding march toward "history," a march that has taken so long that we can't even keep up our outrage anymore, we consider what might have been....
Tim "Douche" Donaghy Did It and I Called It
The now ex-NBA referee has had a really shitty week, and deservedly so. Just as I predicted Donaghy was identified as the target of the FBI's gambling investigation. While part of me feels for a guy who obviously suffers from a gambling addiction the rest of me is fucking ecstatic. The reason I kept...
We're Guess Jack Daniels Will Cost About 12 Bucks
Good news! If Tampa Bay Buccaneers get confused by the 73 quarterbacks they'll have on their team this year, they will be able to douse their pain with the sweet nectar of hard liquor....
Elijah Dukes' Divorce Proceedings, Shockingly, Are Getting Nasty
As you probably might expect, the wife of "troubled" Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is filing for divorce. (This tends to happen when you send your wife's cell phones photos of guns.) She has come up with some not-really-all-that-surprising accusations....
How Do They Sleep At Night? On A 10-Foot High Pile Of Money
You might remember back, a few months ago, when we told you about the brothers Silna, the former owners of the ABA St. Louis Spirits who, to this day, get one-seventh of the revenue of all NBA television contracts even though they haven't owned a team in 30 years. Well, with the new NBA/ABC/ESPN con...
Elijah Dukes Is On The Air
We hope you weren't trying to get through to WDAE Radio on Tuesday, as various members of the Dukes family had the phone lines jammed pretty much all day. We hate when that happens. Tuesday was Fun Day for Ron Diaz and Ian Beckles over at the Ft. Lauderdale station, as an agitated Elijah Dukes calle...
Elijah Dukes Continues To Bat 1.000
If you're a social worker who is considering a foster care applicaton, how could you not approve the couple who is related to Elijah Dukes? A 17-year-old girl who is in foster care with a relative of Dukes told the Tampa police that Dukes got her pregnant. The article goes on to say that Dukes will ...
Elijah Dukes Is Not Subtle About Voice Mail
Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is off to a splendid start this year, and just watching him play, you can tell he has superstar potential. Hell ... he could very well be the next Brett Myers!...
Whatever Brings The Fans In From All The Great Weather
We appreciate that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, lacking that whole "fanbase" thing, are trying unconventional ways to rile up some local support. But no mascot, not even Raymond, should ever have to wear this outfit....