aba Page 74 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alabama Gives Up First November Touchdown To The Citadel
Alabama’s defense has been quite good this month. Both Mississippi State and LSU laid up big fat goose eggs against the Crimson Tide, despite both teams being worthy of top-25 rankings. But The Citadel Bulldogs, a non-conference visiting opponent, had no issue breaking that scoreless trend against t...
Jacob DeGrom Won The NL Cy Young And It Wasn't Even Close
Playing for the Mets didn’t impede Jacob deGrom’s NL Cy Young chances in the slightest. Despite only putting up a 10-9 record due to his hitters giving him some of the worst run support in the league, the Mets ace wasn’t penalized for his lack of wins, and he blew away Max Scherzer in the voting. De...
Ass Team Of The Week: The Buccaneers Were Killed By Their Own Hot, Compressed Farts
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 16-3 to Washington on Sunday, but just about every number save for the final score says the Bucs were the better team. They out-gained Washington in yards nearly two-to-one—it was 501 to 286 when the final whistle blew—and yards per play (7.5 to 5.2), and had nearly dou...
This Ain't It, Team That Appropriates A Chief
The Skins beat the Buccaneers 16-3 yesterday, and apparently a victory over a three-win squad gave some social media doofus the gumption to try to dunk on the losers online....
FitzMagic Isn't Strong Enough To Make This Pass Legal
Tampa Bay Bucs QB Ryan Fitzpatrick almost made a magical play on a long third down in the first quarter of today’s game against Washington. With the ball at midfield, Fitzpatrick dropped back, did a supernatural job of escaping the pass rush, then took off running before he, uh, threw a forward pass...
Jabari Parker Looks Really Disengaged Right Now
This past summer, the Bulls had $20 million in cap space, and they decided to spend it on bringing in hometown hero Jabari Parker on a two-year deal. When healthy, Parker had previously been a fringe all-star-level scorer, although the former second overall pick’s career has been maimed by a pair of...
USA Badminton Is Another Example Of How Messed Up Olympic Organizations Are
USA Badminton, the sport’s national governing body, was first audited by the United States Olympic Committee three years ago. The USOC recommended stronger internal controls and improved reporting on its finances, among other fixes, and it awarded USA Badminton an audit rating of 11; a rating of 0 i...
North Alabama Shocks Vanderbilt To Win Their First-Ever D-I Game
In one of the most surprising upsets that could possibly happen this Tuesday evening, North Alabama’s women’s basketball team defeated Vanderbilt 74-71 in the program’s first-ever Division I game....
Curtis Samuel Turns The Buccaneers' Defense Into Swiss Cheese
On a 1st-and-10 at the Buccaneers 33-yard line, the Panthers dialed up a double-reverse for second-year receiver Curtis Samuel, who proceeded to embarrass the hell out of nearly every single player on Tampa Bay’s defense for a touchdown....
ESPN Apologizes To SEC Commissioner For James Carville Spouting Alabama Conspiracy Theories
ESPN issued an on-air apology to SEC commissioner Greg Sankey for comments that political analyst James Carville made during his appearance on College Gameday about the conference being inherently biased towards No. 1 Alabama....
Interception Machine Jameis Winston Gets Benched For Ryan Fitzpatrick<em></em>
It’s time to erase the whiteboard reading “Days Since Last Jameis Winston Turnover Party” and draw a big fat 0. The Buccaneers might have beaten the Bengals Sunday if they’d benched Winston quicker, but instead, he was allowed stick around long enough to throw four interceptions, get sacked five tim...
Fitzmagic (Sort Of) Returns After Jameis Winston Gets Benched For Throwing Four Interceptions
Jameis Winston was benched for Ryan Fitzpatrick today after his ass-tastic performance against the Cincinnati Bengals yielded four interceptions and five sacks in just under three quarters of playing time....
Does Robin Lopez Have Teeth In His Hair? An Investigation
This Halloween season, Jabari Parker was asked to do something very, very spooky and unpleasant. No, not “impede literally any professional basketball player’s movement towards the hoop,” but just “reach inside an box with unusual contents.” The contents were the head of Robin Lopez. While gingerly ...
The Horror Of Tony Saunders's Arm Break
Welcome back to Sports Horror stories, a video series where we remember that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is, in a way, constantly happening all around us....
DeSean Jackson's Butterfingers Prevent Incredible Game-Winning Play For The Bucs
The Buccaneers were mere inches away from completing one of the wildest game-ending plays in NFL history. With no timeouts remaining and a five-point deficit, Jameis Winston had to march down the field and score a touchdown in just over a minute. With seven seconds left in the game on Atlanta’s 21-...
Game 4 Winning Pitcher: "I Thought Ángel Hernández Called A Good Game." Game 4 Losing Pitcher: "He's Absolutely Terrible."
CC Sabathia got touched up for five hits, two walks, and three runs over three lousy innings Tuesday night, and took the loss in Boston’s series-clinching win over the Yankees. Afterward, he lit up umpire Ángel Hernández, who was behind the plate in Game 4:...
Nick Saban Is Very Angry At Alabama Fans For Not Attending Guaranteed Win Against Garbage Opponent
Alabama beat the shit out of the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana-Lafayette on Saturday. By the end of the first quarter the Crimson Tide had a 28-point lead; by the end of the half it was 49. Louisiana scored a couple of touchdowns in the fourth quarter, but by that time they were already down 56 points....
Dirk Koetter Calls For His Own Firing After Bears Humiliate Bucs
Thanks to the atrocious defense of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Mitch Trubisky looked like the savior of Chicago in the Bears’ 48-10 win this afternoon. Going for 354 yards passing, 53 yards rushing, and six touchdowns, Trubisky absolutely torched the now 2-2 Bucs, helping put a definitive end to Tampa...
CC Sabathia Plunks Batter, Costs Himself $500K, Tells Rays Dugout "That's For You...Bitch"
This afternoon’s Yankees-Rays game in Tampa got out of hand early—it’s 11-1 right now—but the beef never sleeps. In the fifth, CC Sabathia hit Jake Bauers in the wrist. In the sixth, Andrew Kittredge threw up and behind Austin Romine, who exchanged words with catcher Jesus Sucre....
Jake Faria Averts Disaster With Miraculous Catch Of 109-MPH Aaron Judge Comebacker
Comebackers are some of the scariest events in sports. A comebacker fractured Juan Nicasio’s skull and broke his neck in 2011; a comebacker broke Mike Mussina’s nose in 1998 and for a while poisoned him with the fear that every pitch was going to come rocketing back at his face; last season a Joe Ma...