aba Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i> National Championship Simulation Is LIVE
It’s time for everyone’s favorite tradition: the CPU vs CPU simulation of tonight’s national championship game, using the original Tecmo Super Bowl on NES with fully-updated rosters. CLICK THROUGH TO WATCH:...
Dan Girardi Leaves Game After Taking A Slap Shot To The Head
Tampa Bay Lightning defenseman Dan Girardi suffered a brutal injury in the second period of the team’s 5-2 win against the Red Wings Sunday night. As Detroit’s Martin Frk fired a one-timer from the faceoff circle, Girardi went down on one knee to try and block it from close range. Frk’s shot hit G...
Alabama Strength Coach Obliterates Last Year's Runner-Up Trophy
If you are not PUMPED UP and ready to THROTTLE MEDIOCRITY after watching cartoonishly burly Alabama strength coach Scott Cochran SHATTER Crimson Tide’s second-place trophy from last year’s College Football Playoff final with gravity and also a large hammer, then you’re not ready to TACKLE GREATNESS....
Nick Saban Found Something To Grump About
Two days after his team won its College Football Playoff semifinal and advanced to the national title game for the third straight year, Alabama head coach Nick Saban groused that there was only one week between semifinals and the championship. This has more or less been the case since the College Fo...
Alabama Beats Clemson, Sets Up All-SEC Championship Game
Alabama manhandled top seed Clemson 24-6 in a downer of a Sugar Bowl unworthy of being the headliner to the double-OT Rose Bowl opening act, and now you’re all going to enjoy a week of gripes about the SEC and the Tide vs. Georgia national championship matchup. Our response to those complaints is th...
319-Pound Defensive Lineman Da'Ron Payne Gets Interception, Catches TD Pass In Five-Minute Span
Alabama’s Da’Ron Payne pushes well past 300 pounds and bench presses 500. He is a large man. Here’s the large man catching two passes in five minutes—one of them from his own team, for a touchdown—and making us all very happy to be alive. Except for those of us who went to Clemson, and I didn’t go t...
Sean Payton And Dirk Koetter Get Into Weird Chest-Slapping Contest During Postgame Handshake
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the New Orleans Saints 31-24 Sunday, and although the game didn’t carry too much weight, there were clearly feelings left over from the two teams’ first divisional matchup in November. During the postgame handshake, Saints head coach Sean Payton gave Bucs head coach Dir...
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?<em></em>
If Christmas is all about putting stuff up butts, New Year’s Day is the day to read about the many methods of absolute destruction of America’s dick and balls, and to be thankful it wasn’t you. Unless it was....
Shabazz Napier Had One Of The Sickest Assists Of The Year
The Trail Blazers made a very impressive comeback against the 76ers tonight, starting the fourth quarter down 13 and finishing it as the victors, 114-110. In that final quarter, no one in Portland made a more amazing play than Shabazz Napier. With his team up four, Napier drove, drew two defenders, ...
Nikita Kucherov And Steven Stamkos Have Beautiful Chemistry<em></em>
Tampa Bay Lightning scorers Nikita Kucherov and Steven Stamkos have only been teammates since 2013, but at the end of the second period tonight against Montreal, the pair showed off the communication skills of a longtime married couple. As the Lightning pushed the puck down deep in the Canadiens’ zo...
Penn Scores 100 Points, Wins Fans Free Cheesesteaks
Penn achieved culinary satisfaction last night....
Report: Car Registered To DeSean Jackson Found Wrecked, Abandoned On Christmas Eve
A car registered to Buccaneers wide receiver DeSean Jackson was found abandoned on Sunday night in Tampa, Fla., according to a police report reviewed by NFL.com. The car, a Chevrolet Silverado, at some point struck a tree, and inside police found a misdemeanor-level amount of marijuana and two legal...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
If it’s Christmas, it must be time to learn what America shoved inside itself. The only worthwhile holiday tradition pushes on....
Jameis Winston Melts Down After Panthers Comeback
Cam Newton scored a touchdown with 35 seconds left to push the Panthers past the Buccaneers, 22-19. On the ensuing drive, Jameis Winston fumbled on the first play after a sack from Kawann Short. Carolina defensive end Julius Peppers recovered. That’s when things got messy....
Rays Trade Away Face Of The Franchise For Bad Reasons
Various baseball insiders are reporting that the stove is hot this morning. Rays third baseman Evan Longoria has been shipped to the Giants in exchange for Denard Span and some other stuff:...
The Golden Knights Are The Best Story In Hockey
If you thought a December game between the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Vegas Golden Knights would end up pitting two of the NHL’s best teams, and would be one of the most exciting games of the season, you’re a fucking liar, get off my website, we don’t like liars here. If you’re as baffled by Vegas’...
NFL Official Eats It; Bucs Lose
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 24-21 to the Atlanta Falcons tonight when Patrick Murray missed a possible game-tying 54-yard field goal as time expired. The Bucs spiked the ball on the play before to stop the clock with six seconds left, but they would’ve had a few more had the official bringing the ...
![Bucs LB Adarius Glanton Carted Off After Gross Leg Break [Graphic]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xeplnsl9b9ewr3r7axtn.jpg)
Bucs LB Adarius Glanton Carted Off After Gross Leg Break [Graphic]
The Buccaneers have lost player after player to injuries tonight, and the unlucky victim of the worst-looking one was linebacker Adarius Glanton. While blitzing Matt Ryan, Glanton collided with Robert Ayers and appeared to break his left leg falling to the ground....
CC Sabathia Returning To Yankees To Complete "Unfinished Business"
C.C. Sabathia’s free agency presumably got a lot simpler after the Yankees, who came achingly close to advancing to the World Series back in October, went out and snagged the reigning National League MVP. To absolutely no one’s great surprise, Sabathia would prefer to spend his age-38 season getting...
Chicharito And Pablo Zabaleta Crack Each Other Up With Jokes They Don't Understand
For evidence of the contagious nature of laughter, just watch this video of Spanish-speaking West Ham players Javier Hernández and Pablo Zabaleta telling each other pun-heavy jokes in English. Note how they and you, the viewer, melt into giggly puddles even though they very clearly don’t have the sl...