abe Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please Enjoy "The Joy Of Christmas," The Greatest, Goofiest Christmas Album Ever Made
Tastefulness. It has no place when celebrating the holiday season, but some people just can’t fucking help themselves. Look at this Spotify playlist:...
Major League Baseball's Statcast Can Break Sabermetrics
“On a historical basis, a decade from now, we’ll be looking back saying, ‘That was the highest route efficiency that’s ever been captured in baseball.’”...
Howard Eskin Is Very Upset That New Phillies Manager Gabe Kapler Masturbates
The Phillies held a press conference today to introduce Gabe Kapler as the team’s new manager. It was Kapler’s first time speaking to the assembled Philadelphia media, and he got a good introduction into a major part of his new job....
Gabe Kapler Is A Good Baseball Mind, But A Better Blogger
The Philadelphia Phillies announced today that former MLB player Gabe Kapler will be their new manager, leaving his spot as director of player development for the Dodgers to do so. It’s unclear what this will mean for his other gig, writing about health and fitness (and occasionally other topics) as...
<i>Jeopardy!</i> Dummy Beats Even Bigger Dummies With $1
Defending Jeopardy! champion Manny Abell wasn’t doing so hot heading into Final Jeopardy last night. Abell had accrued just $1,000, trailing both Carlos Nobleza Posas and Fran Fried by a cool $11,300, and he needed a lot to break in his favor for him to make up that difference. Thanks to a panel-wid...
German Soccer Team Hertha BSC Kneels In Solidarity With NFL Anthem Protests
Bundesliga side Hertha Berlin linked arms and knelt before the start of their match today against Schalke, reportedly in solidarity with NFL anthem protests:...
Stop Asking This Shithead Bad Questions Poorly<em></em>
The White House press corps is now, as it always has been, both one of the most important parts of American journalism and one of the most frustrating parts of American journalism. At its most basic, the job of White House reporters is to hold the most powerful people in the United States accountabl...
Andrea Belotti Scored The Goal Of The Weekend
As the summer transfer window wanes and clubs are stressing over Ousmane Dembélé, Philippe Coutinho, Kylian Mbappé, Neymar, and other flashy strikers making (or not making) big moves around Europe, Torino’s 23-year-old big shot Andrea Belotti is over in Italy cooking up a storm. He’s long been linke...
The Long Death Of A Failed Ballplayer
This story originally appeared in the August, 1980 issue of Inside Sports and appears here with permission. ...
Ons Jabeur Is The First Arab Woman To Make It This Far Into A Grand Slam
Ons Jabeur, ranked No. 114 in the world, slipped into the French Open as a “lucky loser”—a player who lost in qualifying rounds but nevertheless lucked into a spot vacated by another player’s withdrawal. Before this tournament, the 22-year-old Tunisian had played only two other Grand Slam matches in...
Wolfsburg Make John Brooks The Most Expensive American Player In History
This summer’s transfer window isn’t even officially open yet and we’re already seeing some crazy, record-breaking fees being thrown about. Like Paul Pogba a year ago, the source of the (arguably) biggest, most (relatively) eye-popping fee that (not quite) everyone is talking about is the record-smas...
Striker Somehow Fails To Kick Ball Into Open Net From Point-Blank Range
You know what, rather than ridicule, Aberdeen striker Miles Storey deserves our sympathy. Yes, it’s never good to find a way not to score when you’re literally a foot away from an unguarded net, but the incoming cross was deflected, and it had to feel like shit to hear that sound the crowd made when...
What Kobe Bryant Was Capable Of
The story originally appeared in The Los Angeles Times Magazine on Oct. 31, 2004 and can be found in Kaye’s ebook anthology, Men: What They Do, How They Think, And Why. It is republished here with the author’s permission....
Andrea Belotti, Young Italian Soccer Man, Is Having Himself A Hell Of A Season
Andrea Belotti ... that famous Italian singer guy? Nope, that’s Andrea Bocelli, but good try....
Jos Hermens Explains How He's Going To Find A Sub Two-Hour Marathoner
Jos Hermens had been talking for maybe four minutes, and already I had learned that he sexted his wife (he made a gleeful face and texting motions); that Americans are fucking uptight (also uptight about fucking) and that is the problem with our country; that his people, the Dutch, are so happy beca...
Stanford Band Doofuses Still Barred From Cal Rivalry Game
The Stanford marching band has been banned from road games since May 2015 for a “sexual hazing” scandal, but they’ve been allowed to attend bowl games. They made everyone mad at the Rose Bowl last year by being quirky and transgressive enough to make a completely out-of-left-field joke about how muc...
Did You Hear The Latest Big Election Scoop?
This past weekend, I caught some evolved form of plague from my two-year-old, disease-carrying nephew. Though I’m past the worst of the illness at this point, some residual sinus pressure remains. So I stopped by the drugstore on my way into the office. It was here that I learned that Huma Abedin an...
The Sub2 Project Takes Credit For Kenenisa Bekele's Near-World Record Marathon<em></em>
Ethiopian Almaz Ayana set a new world record of 29 minutes 17.45 seconds in the women’s 10,000 meters at the Rio Olympics. About a month later, fellow Ethiopian Kenenisa Bekele sped through the streets of Berlin, covering 26.2 miles in 2:03:03. That’s just six seconds shy of the world record, and a ...
Junior League Hockey Player Suspended After Concussing Flyers Prospect
Pascal Laberge was selected by the Philadelphia Flyers in the second round of this year’s NHL draft, and currently plays for the Victoriaville Tigres in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. During Saturday’s game against the Moncton Wildcats, he took a vicious hit from Zachary Malatesta....
Alana Beard Hits Buzzer-Beater To Give Sparks Game 1 Win In WNBA Finals
Today’s WNBA Finals Game 1 between the L.A. Sparks and Minnesota Lynx ended with a buzzer-beater from guard Alana Beard to give Los Angeles a 78-76 win and 1-0 lead in the best-of-five series....