abe Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tim Tebow And The Girl He Was Not Humping Are No Longer Not Humping Each Other
This hasn't been the best week for Tim Tebow. His Jets team was eliminated from playoff contention after suffering a humiliating loss on Monday Night Football, he was leapfrogged on the depth chart by third-stringer Greg McElroy, and now he has reportedly split from girlfriend Camilla Belle. Us Wee...

Introducing Sonny ****, The Cal Bears' New Football Coach
A little more than two weeks after firing Jeff Tedford, the Cal Bears have their man: They've hired Louisiana Tech coach Sonny ****. ****'s Bulldogs had the nation's top-ranked offense this season; they averaged 51.5 points and 577.92 yards per game. ****'s Tech team finished with a 9-3 record but w...

A Message From Mike Vrabel's Stitched-Up Forehead: Always Wear A Helmet When Head-Butting People Wearing Helmets
Mike Vrabel has been a retired football player for a little more than a year now. After 14 NFL seasons, he couldn't really stay away, transitioning immediately into a role as the linebackers coach at Ohio State, his alma mater, before staying on with Urban Meyer to work as the Buckeyes' defensive li...

Does Carson Cistulli's Admittance To The BBWAA Finally Justify His Preposterously Detailed Wikipedia Page?
Earlier today, Carson Cistulli of FanGraphs, along with a few internet-based others, joined the ranks of the Baseball Writers' Association of America, the organization which ensures media access to baseball games, and votes for major awards and Hall of Fame membership....

Grierson & Leitch's Year In Review: The Best Forgotten Performances
Yes, many people are already writing their Top 10 movie lists for 2012. We're saving ours for the last week of the year, but while we wait for this full, rich, and weird movie year to end, we're going to start looking back at certain highlights. Today, it's our favorite performances that won't be re...

Do Foreign Footballers Really Dive More?
This Regressing entry is brought to you by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Today: how Premier League diving might be a cultural phenomenon....

Stephen A. Smith To Babe: "Family's Fine...Nothing But A Power Outage"
Everyone is, thankfully, safe. We assume that includes jokes-having peeps. ...

This Is The Lady With Whom Tim Tebow Is Not Having Sex
In a sense, Tim Tebow is not having sex with all women, but this-Camilla Belle, actress-is the particular woman with whom he's not having sex on a daily basis, despite other outward appearances of a romantic relationship. Here's Page Six's report on Tebelle (all rights reserved, must credit Deadspin...

Nate Silver's Braying Idiot Detractors Show That Being Ignorant About Politics Is Like Being Ignorant About Sports
In case you haven't been hanging around the benighted corners of the political internet lately, there's an idiotic backlash afoot against Nate Silver, the proprietor of the FiveThirtyEight blog who made his name as one of the sharpest baseball analysts around....

The Giants Sure Use A Lot Of Sabermetrics For An Anti-Sabermetric Team
The Giants' World Series title is the latest point of retreat for the desperate sportswriter still looking to slam the use of statistics in baseball. In today's San Francisco Chronicle, Bruce Jenkins insists that this championship team got there through hard work, gristle, faces, eyes, shoulders, k...

You Don't Know Me: On The Terrific And Unsettling <em>The Loneliest Planet</em>
I waste as much time on the web as anyone, but one thing I always avoid are those videos that careen around the internet that depict some poor schmoe being caught on camera doing something horribly embarrassing. I don't mind if local TV news reporters accidentally make fools of themselves—they signe...

Asian Football Confederation Does Racist Thing, Blames Wikipedia
An article recently appeared on the Asian Football Confederation's website that referred to the United Arab Emirates' national soccer team as the "Sand Monkeys." That's a really racist thing to do, in case you didn't know....

Cranky Columnist Writes Anti-Stats Column That Reads Like Parody Of Anti-Stats Columns
Chaz Scoggins has been around. The longtime Lowell Sun writer has served as the Red Sox's official scorer for 34 years. He's been a SABR member for nearly as long. He even served as president of the BBWAA. But his hidden talent appears to be master satirist. How else to explain his weekend column, w...

A Grieving Rex Ryan Believes That If The Jets Make The Super Bowl, Darrelle Revis's Knee Could Be Ready
Which stage of grief is denial? Right, that's Stage 1. On Monday, when a really, really sad Rex Ryan announced that Darrelle Revis had indeed torn his ACL, the Jets coach said he wanted to talk to his star cornerback before putting him on season-ending injured reserve....

When Good Statistics Go Bad: The Case Against The Case Against R.A. Dickey
R.A. Dickey, objectively speaking, is the greatest human being in history. His knuckleball destroys cities and he climbed a huge fucking mountain. But should he win the Cy Young Award?...
![ESPN Personality Rob Parker Pissed Off Every Intelligent Baseball Fan On The Internet Today [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/180cczvkj8iyqpng.png)
ESPN Personality Rob Parker Pissed Off Every Intelligent Baseball Fan On The Internet Today [UPDATE]
Do you know who Rob Parker is? You probably don't because there's really nothing special about Rob Parker. He currently exists as a member of ESPN's stable of chuckleheads who are periodically rotated into duty on First Take, where their main job is to sit there and let Skip Bayless do his thing....

Pythagoras, Meet Hippocrates: Kevin Gregg's Season Was The Opposite Of Lucky
This afternoon, the Baltimore Orioles released reliever Kevin Gregg. On Tuesday, the team had designated him for assignment. That night, they went out and beat the Tampa Bay Rays 9-2, moving into a tie for first place in the American League East. They beat Tampa Bay again the next night, and again ...

The Good, The Bad And The Smugly. <em>Lawless</em>, Reviewed.
1. It is strange to consider the fact that Shia LaBeouf considers Lawless an art film. Only a guy who has spent his adult life standing in front of a green screen while Michael Bay screams "I dunno, just, like, run like crazy, and shit" could consider Lawless some sort of higher, refined form of exp...

Shia LaBeouf Wants You To Take Him Seriously
Being successful sure is nice, but what everybody really wants is to be taken seriously. Whether it's Woody Allen following up Annie Hall with the dour Interiors, George Michael turning away from the pop stardom of Faith for the confessional Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1, or Robin Williams decidin...

Bryce Harper's Advice To Children: "Losing's Not Fun" And "Be As Sexy As You Can"
Bryce Harper is giving back. He hosted a baseball clinic yesterday, and it turned out to be a pretty big story in the D.C. area. Yeah, yeah, the camp was free for more than 200 children. Right, right, Harper was swell enough to swing by on his day off. OK, OK, Harper presented a giant check to a loc...