about-last-night Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
What you missed while publicly executing Santa Claus... • NFL: Matt Moore was disrupted by printouts of ... your mom. Cowboys escape Carolina with a 20-13 win. • NCAA Football: Best two out of three then? BYU avenges regular season loss to UCLA in the Las Vegas Bowl. • NCAA Basketball: Oregon loses ...
About Last Night...
What you missed while explaining the jerkoff motion to your co-workers... • NCAA Football: SCHNELL! SCHNELL! Florida Atlantic quickly builds a football program and wins a bowl game. • NHL: Pssh. Ancient Chinese secret. Calgary falls to Dallas in overtime. • NBA: Portland's win streak is at 10, they'...
About Last Night
What you missed while preparing for the Global Orgasm For Peace ... • NFL: Willie Parker will be able to use the handicapped parking space at Steelers practice all next week. Pittsburgh 41, St. Louis 24. • College football: Navy and Utah pound each other like the Monitor and the Merrimack until one ...
About Last Night
What you missed while voting for the Quote of the Year ... • NFL: Parcells hired by Miami as head of football operations. Clever Dolphins/Big Tuna headline in the works, will be ready by end of the day today. • NBA: Road trip! Boston loses at home for first time, to Pistons. Congressional hearing pl...
About Last Night
What you missed while visiting the baby otter ... • College basketball: Yes, it appears that Jayhawks Magic will extend through to at least February. Kansas 71, Georgie Tech 66. • NBA: I'm convinced that future generations will regard Sasha Vujacic as the greatest Laker of them all. LA 103, Chicago ...
About Last Night
What you missed while battling the Rodents of Unusual Size ... • NFL: Vikings win 20-13, oust Bears from playoff hunt. Mini-Ditka still alive, however. • NBA: Suns beat Spurs, and to add insult to injury they do it while wearing those funky orange-and-gray uniforms. • NHL: Red Wings beat Capitals 4-...
About Last Night
And now it's time for the Feats of Strength ... • NFL: Ravens should have beaten Patriots; Dolphins beat Ravens; therefore, Dolphins are as good as Patriots. • College basketball: The Tar Heels are 9-0, and Tyler Hansbrough has a headache. • NHL: Did the Sharks' Joe Thornton fire six shots, or only ...
About Last Night
What you missed while gettin' busy livin' ... • NFL: Shaun Hill is undefeated; third-string QB leads 49ers over Bengals. • NBA: Spurs top Nuggets in Duncan's return; Matt Bonner not impressed. • Div. III Football: ♫ Mt. Union goes falling down a-down to UW-Whitewater / That's cuz the Beaver learned ...
About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight hemorrhoid flareup ... • NFL: Hey, the Texans played the Broncos last night. Hey! Hello? Is this thing on? • NHL: Luke, I'm your father, eh. Turn to the dark side you hoser. Hemsky, Oilers end Red Wings' win streak, 4-3. • Actual headline: "Steroids Report Upstages Go...
About Last Night
Twas The Night Before The Mitchell Report, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring (LaRussa was soused) ... • Man, I really hope there's a George Mitchell action figure with "Special Envoy to Northern Ireland kung fu grip" under the Mitchel Report Tree tomorrow. — Hank Scorpio...
About Last Night
What you missed while composing The Ballad of Nick Saban (some lyrics NSFW) ... • NBA: Don Nelson says Warriors' win over Spurs deserves an asterisk. • MLB: Mad Max, Beyond Fukudome ... Cubs bolster outfield for only $48 million. • NHL: Dual hat tricks? Get Out! (Elaine shoves Jerry). Flyers 8, Peng...
About Last Night
What you missed while collecting your free $25 ... • NFL: Call off the dogs! ... um, I mean, Saints 34, Falcons 14. • NBA: This just in ... Knicks lose, blame their fans. • NHL: Former Paul McCartney band beats Predators 2-1....
About Last Night
What you missed while searching for your tortoise. "He's on foot — he couldn't have gotten far ..." • NFL: Still a lot of talk about 1984. But Orwell never predicted this. Colts 44, Ravens 20. • NBA: Laker voodoo still effective against Warriors. LA 123, Golden State 113. • Rangers beat Devils! Davi...
About Last Night
What you missed while discovering that White Russians and red wine make for a diabolical combination... • NBA: Josh Howard and Deron Williams put on a spectacular display of point accumulation. • CBB: Dayton stuns Louisville while my guitar Flubby gently weeps. • Boxing: Floyd Mayweathe, you magnifi...
About Last Night
What you missed while stumbling upon a ditch full of stumps... • NBA: The Wizards couldn't hang with the Suns, but at least I got to have a nice chat with my buddy Tony Brothers. • CBB: Virginia beat the Longwood Boners* but Mustapha Farrakhan was held scoreless in two minutes much to the dismay of ...
About Last Night
My sovereign lord, bestow yourself with speed: The squirrels are bravely in their battles set, And will with all expedience charge on us! • Up until last night I thought a Todd Collins was an alcoholic beverage. Redskins 24, Bears 16. • NBA: Miami ... the center of suck in the world of professional ...
About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...
About Last Night
What you missed while doing a little Christmas decorating ... • NBA: Sun explodes, melts Pacers. Phoenix 121, Indiana 117. • MLB: Cabrera, Willis soon to breath in the sweet second-hand smoke of the Tigers' dugout following megadeal with Marlins. • College basketball: Don't you ever underestimate th...
About Last Night
Sure you love that bottle of Captain Morgan, but did it love you back? • NFL: Some sort of dramatic finish involving the Patriots and Ravens, with a game-ending melee near the goal line. Don't ask me: I was under the house trying to reattach the cable. • College women's basketball: Rutgers Fighting ...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching No. 11 on the list of the 100 Best Christmas Shows of All Time ... • NFL: It's Manning vs. Grossman, but one has to suck less than the other. • College basketball: Down go the Bruins! Texas prevails in final seconds. • NBA: Warriors are so hot they literally set the sc...