about Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while gettin' busy livin' ... • NFL: Shaun Hill is undefeated; third-string QB leads 49ers over Bengals. • NBA: Spurs top Nuggets in Duncan's return; Matt Bonner not impressed. • Div. III Football: ♫ Mt. Union goes falling down a-down to UW-Whitewater / That's cuz the Beaver learned ...
About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight hemorrhoid flareup ... • NFL: Hey, the Texans played the Broncos last night. Hey! Hello? Is this thing on? • NHL: Luke, I'm your father, eh. Turn to the dark side you hoser. Hemsky, Oilers end Red Wings' win streak, 4-3. • Actual headline: "Steroids Report Upstages Go...
About Last Night
Twas The Night Before The Mitchell Report, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring (LaRussa was soused) ... • Man, I really hope there's a George Mitchell action figure with "Special Envoy to Northern Ireland kung fu grip" under the Mitchel Report Tree tomorrow. — Hank Scorpio...
About Last Night
What you missed while composing The Ballad of Nick Saban (some lyrics NSFW) ... • NBA: Don Nelson says Warriors' win over Spurs deserves an asterisk. • MLB: Mad Max, Beyond Fukudome ... Cubs bolster outfield for only $48 million. • NHL: Dual hat tricks? Get Out! (Elaine shoves Jerry). Flyers 8, Peng...
About Last Night
What you missed while collecting your free $25 ... • NFL: Call off the dogs! ... um, I mean, Saints 34, Falcons 14. • NBA: This just in ... Knicks lose, blame their fans. • NHL: Former Paul McCartney band beats Predators 2-1....
About Last Night
What you missed while searching for your tortoise. "He's on foot — he couldn't have gotten far ..." • NFL: Still a lot of talk about 1984. But Orwell never predicted this. Colts 44, Ravens 20. • NBA: Laker voodoo still effective against Warriors. LA 123, Golden State 113. • Rangers beat Devils! Davi...
About Last Night
What you missed while discovering that White Russians and red wine make for a diabolical combination... • NBA: Josh Howard and Deron Williams put on a spectacular display of point accumulation. • CBB: Dayton stuns Louisville while my guitar Flubby gently weeps. • Boxing: Floyd Mayweathe, you magnifi...
About Last Night
What you missed while stumbling upon a ditch full of stumps... • NBA: The Wizards couldn't hang with the Suns, but at least I got to have a nice chat with my buddy Tony Brothers. • CBB: Virginia beat the Longwood Boners* but Mustapha Farrakhan was held scoreless in two minutes much to the dismay of ...
About Last Night
My sovereign lord, bestow yourself with speed: The squirrels are bravely in their battles set, And will with all expedience charge on us! • Up until last night I thought a Todd Collins was an alcoholic beverage. Redskins 24, Bears 16. • NBA: Miami ... the center of suck in the world of professional ...
About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...
About Last Night
What you missed while doing a little Christmas decorating ... • NBA: Sun explodes, melts Pacers. Phoenix 121, Indiana 117. • MLB: Cabrera, Willis soon to breath in the sweet second-hand smoke of the Tigers' dugout following megadeal with Marlins. • College basketball: Don't you ever underestimate th...
About Last Night
Sure you love that bottle of Captain Morgan, but did it love you back? • NFL: Some sort of dramatic finish involving the Patriots and Ravens, with a game-ending melee near the goal line. Don't ask me: I was under the house trying to reattach the cable. • College women's basketball: Rutgers Fighting ...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching No. 11 on the list of the 100 Best Christmas Shows of All Time ... • NFL: It's Manning vs. Grossman, but one has to suck less than the other. • College basketball: Down go the Bruins! Texas prevails in final seconds. • NBA: Warriors are so hot they literally set the sc...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stockpiling saving throws vs. cold for the upcoming snowstorms... • NCAA Football: Clusterfuckery reigns supreme as Missouri, West Virginia lose. • NCAA Basketball: Gonzaga beats Connecticut, returns back home to wherever the hell they're located. • Tennis: Well, looky, the Uni...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while, after pressure from the Sudanese government, renaming your teddy bear Osama... • NBA: Lou Holtz's pep talk fixed everything. Knicks 91, Bucks 88 • NCAA Football: This one had all sorts of Poinsettia Bowl implications. Fresno State 30, New Mexico State 23 • ♬ Dustin Byfuglien ♬...
About Last Night
What you missed while putting a special hamper in the bathroom for shirts, with the other one for socks and poo-poo undies ... • NFL: It goes to 11 ... RomoCop leads Cowboys over Packers 37-24. • College football: The Honeymooners ... Art Carmody kicks Louisville to 41-38 win over Rutgers. • NHL: An...
About Last Night
What you missed while dodging errant gunfire by Bobby Knight ... • College basketball: Take the A Train ... Ellington, North Carolina subdue Ohio State, 66-55. • NBA: Ow, my dialing finger! James injured as Pistons beat Cavaliers 109-74. • Soccer: The lads from Liverpool are still alive in the Champ...
About Last Night
What you missed while tipping a glass to the late Robert Cade ... • College basketball: You may resume hating Duke; Blue Devils 82, Badgers 58. • NHL: Milestone, shootout, lots of Canadians. Montreal 4, Toronto 3. • Soccer: Beckham sustains an injury Down Under....
About Last Night
What you missed while mailing out tumbleweeds ... • NFL: Steelers beat Dolphins 3-0, reminding Pirates fans what a shutout win looks like. • NHL: Mike Modano, you're our hero. Stars 3, Islanders 2. • College basketball: Let me tell you all a story of a man named Chas ... Wake Forest 56, Iowa 47....
About Last Night
What you missed while listening to the "I'm Not There" soundtrack ... • NFL: Patriots 31, Eagles 28. Among the highlights; Al Michaels calling it "a dogfight." Everyone in Vick's cellblock got a kick out of that one. • College basketball: A nice win over Arizona to salve the Jayhawks' football wound...