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Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater: Barry Sanders
Welcome to Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater. Today's entry: Lions great Barry Sanders set to Clint Mansell & The Kronos Quartet's overture from the Requiem For A Dream soundtrack....

There's A Jason Whitlock Live Chat Happening In Five Minutes, People
Jason Whitlock is live-chatting at noon about Favre, Sterger, and a host of subjects right now. Do what you do best....

La Russa, Pujols Will Apolitically Attend Glenn Beck's Totally Apolitical Rally
Can we all agree by now that the allegedly thoughtful Tony La Russa, who maybe you've heard is a lawyer and who walks the earth cogitating profoundly on such matters as lineup construction and puppies, is really just an all-around paste-eating dumbass?...

Real-Life Lady Football Coach Story Not Going As Well As Lady Football Coach Movie
Natalie Randolph is a woman. But she's also a high school football coach in Washington D.C. Is your mind blown yet? It shouldn't be. We've been here before....

Jose Bautista Wants Everyone To Know That Jose Bautista Does Not Take Steroids
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Blue Jays slugger Jose Bautista....

Penis-Curious News Anchor Responds
Michael HIll, news anchor for New Orleans's ABC affiliate and a man with a penchant for wonderfully awkward questions, has seen our post and writes in to say he does indeed know from banter. E-mail after the jump....

Lawrence Taylor Doesn't Recall Much From His Draft Day
Which he blames on the 41 beers he says he drank (in fairness, they were Coors Lights). I wonder what he's drunk on in this video?:...

The Saddest, Most Pitiful Sentence Illinois Basketball Fans Will Ever Read
"Though Illinois is seeded No. 1 in the NIT, it couldn't host a first-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week." Even sadder? My parents have tickets. [IlliniHQ]...

Why Your Team Sucks: St. Louis Rams
Some people are fans of the St. Louis Rams. But many, many more people, like reader Adam S. are NOT fans of the St. Louis Rams. Adam's 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. ...

Leitch And Drew On Vomiting, Dipping, Commenting, Simmons, And Other Essentials
Your Deadcast guest this week is Leitch. It's a nice departure from all those weeks of talking to, you know, interesting people. HEY-O!!!!...

In Season Debut, Candace Parker Produces Six Points, Several Fluid Ounces Of Breast Milk
Parker returned yesterday against the Mercury, and once again sportswriters found themselves talking about her boobs: "Just before the game, Parker had to pump breastmilk in the locker room for her daughter's post-game feeding." [LA Daily News]...

Shockingly, No One Was Seriously Injured During Deadspin Bar Crawl
Last Saturday we invited our New York readers to join us for a Subway Series bar crawl, sponsored by the wonderful hombres at Corona. We drank, watched baseball, and awkwardly socialized with people from the internet. So really it was like any other Saturday, except I put clothes on and actually lef...

A Portrait Of The Columnist As A Young Virgin
Long before John Rocker offered him his thoughts on New York City transit, SI.com columnist Jeff Pearlman was a rosy-cheeked collegian who was more than happy to share his sexual habits with the world....

Sportswriting Declared Dead. Again.
Next month's Texas Monthly has a story about the death of sportswriting. It's official: Writing about the death of sportswriting is finally dead....

The L.A. Times Pens The Mother Of All Steroid Columns
Here it is, folks. Served up piping hot by Kurt Streeter in Sunday's Los Angeles Times — the platonic ideal of a steroid-outrage column....

A Bold New Sanchez-To-Burress Era For Jets Fans?
Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum said that the Jets contacted agent Drew Rosenhaus prior to the draft to ask about Plaxico Burress's legal situation. [USA Today]...

Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Um so…did I mention I am also recovering from a sinus infection? How about a YouTube clip of children using obscene language?...

You Should Wikipedia Kevin Garnett Sometime, He's A Fascinating Fellow
I actually did know who Kevin Garnett was before today. In fact, we talked one time. It was a conference call though, lacking in intimacy. Those were the days before you could Wikipedia helpful icebreakers....

Jessica Rose A Little Unclear On This Blogging Business
"I unfortunately won't be home to view the game and don't have DVR since I just moved. This is not fun for me. Keep me updated via twitter @jessicaleerose." [Puck Daddy]...

Steve Phillips Finally Addresses Those Stupid Mock Press Conferences
"I actually thought they should do it again. Even though people criticized it, it was creative and different and why not take those kinds of chances when, you know, what's the risk, really?" [OnTheDL]...