ac Page 1048 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Derek Anderson Laughs, Curses His Way Through 21-Point Loss
Down 18 in the fourth quarter, the Arizona quarterback was filmed laughing with lineman Deuce Lutui on the sideline. A reporter asked "what was so funny" in the post-game presser, and Anderson (16-35, 196 yards, 1 interception) said "nothing's funny!"...

The Newest Saga In The Sad Story Of Broke Antoine Walker Brings Us To The D-League
There was a time when Antoine Walker was every Celtics fan's second-favorite player. How our fortunes change. Six months after filing for personal bankruptcy, Walker is reportedly joining the Idaho Stampede — assuming he passes a routine background check....

Here's Your "I Can't Believe These Teams Are Somehow Still Relevant" MNF Open Thread
3-7 San Francisco plays at 3-7 Arizona tonight. The Cardinals have lost five straight. And yet, in the very sad NFC West wasteland, a win could put either team a game back of the division lead. Should this be illegal?...

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 2 LeBron James vs. No. 7 The Machine
There's no real tale of the tape to run through in this first SHOTY quarterfinal matchup, but if there were, you couldn't help but note that The Machine (probably) has one more title than LeBron does....

Stumbly, Pot-Bellied Redskins Fan And Compatriot Receive Beating At Hands Of Other Redskins Fans
...and then the cops show up and everybody stands around for a few minutes before the person taping confirms that he recorded the whole thing....

Russell Westbrook Posterizes Shane Battier With Vicious Slam
Midway through last night's Thunder-Rockets game, Kevin Durant swung the ball out to Russell Westbrook who drove straight to the hoop and elevated for a dunk that straight embarrassed alleged defensive maestro Shane Battier....

Pink Blackberry Cover Girl Is Not Jen Patterson, Jen Patterson Says
I-Team mystery solved. Please have the report on my desk by noon tomorrow. [JenPatterson's Twitter]...

Name That Mascot Dong, Pt. 2 (UPDATE: Lighthouse Penis Speaks, Gets Kicked In The Groin)
This weekend we brought you the phallic-shaped cannon now representing the Columbus Blue Jackets. UMass-Boston might one-up them with "Beacon," who's clearly a bipedal penis....

Peter King Only Drives The Favremobile On Weekends
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's A Spirited Defense Of "Colored" Tiger Woods Which Condemns Brett Favre, SI, Dumb Parents And America
Words beyond "offended but strangely mesmerized" escape me after reading this email that came in at 12:31 a.m. yesterday. Spent a day and a half debating whether I should even post it. You decide whether I made the right call....

Who Is Pink Blackberry Cover Girl?
Upon seeing the photo from this morning's Wake Up Deadspin post about Chicago Blackhawk John Scott beating Kings enforcer Kevin Westgarth into bloody submission, astute reader Anarchy Salad posed a very interesting scenario....

This Is What It Looks Like When Sneaky Machines Practice Rising Up
CBC Sports announcers Scott Oakes and Kevin Weekes almost got run over by a Zamboni before the San Jose Sharks/Edmonton Oilers game last night. Here's video of it. (HT Greg Wyshynski)...

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Having spent 16 months as a South Carolinian, I might could think USC/Clemson is the best rivalry going. I done seen how severely people turn on people who support the other side, and I revel in its peak-level sadism....

Alabama Gas Station Makes Shopping For Contraception, Saban Photos Easier
Shopping season is upon us and tipster Nick B. sends in a suggestion for those looking to procure pre-framed images of Alabama Crimson Tide head coaches: Just find the jimmy hats....

Name That Mascot Dong!
In unveiling their second mascot "Boomer" on Wednesday, the Columbus Blue Jackets called him "a kid-friendly, cushy cannon character with a friendly face and fluffy moustache reminiscent of a Civil War-era general." [BlueJackets.nhl.com]...

Nevada Fans See Boise Drivin' 'Round Town With The BCS Bid They Love, And They're Like, F*ck You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

So, Yeah, Auburn's Losing By A Lot
It's 24-7 Alabama at halftime of the Iron Bowl. We're 30 minutes away from the BCS shitstorm to end all BCS shitstorms. At least the NCAA could take their time with the Cam Newton investigation....

Barack Obama Needs Stitches After Busting Lip During Thanksgiving Basketball Game
The president took 12 stitches after getting hit in the mouth during a friendly game of hoops yesterday. Probably shouldn't have invited Bill Laimbeer. [AP]...

Bleacher Report Is Hiring!
Bleacher Report is looking for an experienced copy chief to manage their staff of 30 copy editors....

Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....