ac Page 1068 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Idiot Utah Sports Columnist More Or Less Calls Amar'e Stoudemire A Dumb Negro
Doug Robinson, the resident paste-eating troglodyte at the Deseret News, has gone and written a truly remarkable column this week....

Rex Ryan Retroactively Guarantees Super Bowl Rings For Team He Never Coached
It has been a watershed week for coach fights in the NFL. First, of course, there was the Great Handshake Showdown Of Oh-Eleven at Ford Field on Sunday evening, when two grown men disagreed about the proper way to deliver post-game handshakes and resorted to standing around grimacing at each other a...

Rick Pitino Uses Really Unfortunate Infidelity Metaphor
Rick Pitino's a New Yorker who made his bones in the Big East, so naturally he's upset about Syracuse's and Pittsburgh's ACC exodus. At Big East media days, he had some harsh words for the Judases:...

This Week In Frozen Armadillo Attack News
"According to investigators, the altercation occurred when the suspect was selling the carcass to the victim, who planned to eat the animal. The pair apparently began arguing over the price of the item when the man twice threw the armadillo at the woman. The animal first struck the woman in the leg...

The Lingerie Football League Hopes Michael Jackson's Daughter Will Help Develop "Future LFL Athletes"
Somehow, somebody at world headquarters of a football league with a fan base comprised, mostly, of dudes who like watching women in bra-and-sport-panties uniforms partake in jiggly rough-housing stroked their inspiration wand and chanted something to the tune of, "We can be an inspirational entity ...

Kickass Hot Wheels Track Goes Upstairs, Downstairs, Around The Freaking Block
It took a lot of time and effort to build this 2000-foot long Hot Wheels track—From The Marbles says that's equivalent to 24 miles in big people land—with only a three-minute video payoff. We say it was absolutely worth it. We found ourselves unaccountably rooting for the little plastic car, espec...

"I'm About Winning": Coach K Wasn't Included In Duke's Auto-Tune Song, So We Made One For Him
Mike Krzyzewski did not partake in DJ Steve Porter's Auto-Tuned "Duke Worldwide" music video, so we went into the Deadspin recording studio (it's called GarageBand and it's probably on your Mac) and mixed one ourselves....

Olympic Sprinting Is Sexist Toward Men, Says Research Paper I Don't Fully Understand But Sounds Plausible
We knew that false starts in sprinting are triggered by a sensor in the starting block. What we did not know is that a false start can still be triggered if a runner breaks after the starting gun—anywhere up to a tenth of a second after. This is because, the thinking goes, the human nervous system c...

Remembering The Best Punt Return That Never Officially Happened
Bears wide receiver/returner Devin Hester—as Drew explained Monday—is the human highlight reel that opponents have to kick to. He gave us a splendid return on Sunday night. But perhaps his best play of the season came on a play when he never touched the ball, on a play that never happened, as far ...

Homemade Hockey Pads Offer Little Protection, It Turns Out
For a German TV show, the two hosts planned to strap on their homemade armor and face the wrath of a full-ice body check at intermission of a Eisbären Berlin game. After seeing what happened to the first test subject, the second host decided that one was enough....

Mr. Congeniality Bill Belichick Has Some Thoughts On The Postgame Coach Handshake
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bill says it's all the media's fault....

Disgraced Ex-FIFA VP Plans To Disgrace FIFA President With "Tsunami" Of Corruption Charges
FIFA, if you are so inclined to take notice, is potentially in the midst of a total organizational breakdown, because we're now hearing what we already knew all along: FIFA is very corrupt. This is a special breakdown, though, because it is one in which the accused person in power attempts to deflec...

The Jaguars Cut An Injured David Garrard Because They're Cheap, His Agent Says
And here we were thinking the David Garrard saga had ended, more boring than an average Jaguars game. But Garrard's camp is still talking trash on the Jags, from beyond the grave. (Or operating table. Whatever.) Garrard's agent says the team knew about the back injury, and released the quarterback r...

A.J. Hawk's Middle Finger To His Sideline Was An Inside Joke That No Other Packer Knows Anything About
After Packers linebacker AJ Hawk flipped off his own sideline in Sunday's game against the Rams, he said it was a running joke with a couple of his teammates. Thing is, none of his teammates has come forward to admit any familiarity with this running joke....

Hey, David Garrard Was Just Kidding About Playing QB This Year, You Guys
Now that the Raiders want him, it turns out that Garrard's needed surgery since training camp, reports Jay Glazer....

Jon Lester Says They Probably Only "Ordered Chicken From Popeyes Like Once A Month"
Lester tells the Boston Globe (though not Bob Hohler, who wrote this) that starting pitchers on their off-days were the only ones drinking during Red Sox games. "There's a perception out there that we were up there getting hammered and that wasn't the case... Most of the times it was one beer, a bee...

Here's To Running Backs Who Don't Run
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Someone's Selling A John Lackey Signed Ball Stained With Chicken Grease
EBay, of course:...

IndyCar Officials Announce Driver Dan Wheldon Died In Today's Fiery Crash
AP, via SI.com, reports "Indianapolis 500 winner Dan Wheldon died Sunday in a fiery 15-car wreck at Las Vegas Motor Speedway when his car flew over another on Lap 13 and smashed into the wall just outside turn 2. Wheldon was 33. Drivers were told of Wheldon's death in a meeting about two hours afte...

Here's Video Of The Fiery 15-Car Crash At Today's IndyCar Race In Vegas (UPDATE: Dan Wheldon Is Dead)
Just a handful of laps into today's Las Vegas Indy 300, 15 of 34 cars that started the race were involved in a horrific crash that left driver Dan Wheldon seriously injured and airlifted to a hospital. ESPN reported that driver Will Power was also taken to a hospital because of "lower back pain." ...