ac Page 1068 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Philadelphia Flailers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks, who seriously got under Philly's skin, as evidenced by Dan Carcillo launching himself at anything that moves, and Chris Pronger literally throwing in the towel....
Like All Rich And Graying New York Icons, Keith Hernandez's Mustache Summers In The Hamptons
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Chicago Faces Epidemic Of Jersey-Wearing Statues
It is official: Chicago is a hockey town. If the Michael Jordan statue is wearing Hawks threads, it's only a matter of time before Mayor Daley is mispronouncing players' names and crudely dyeing the city's fountain waters red. Oh wait....
Men From World's Most Insufferable Prestigious Universities To Decide Championship With Lacrosse-Off
That's right, the bros from Duke and the bros from Notre Dame are going to take some time away from icing other bros and play a game that involves nets and balls where neither Digger Phelps or Mike Krzyzewski will be involved....
Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...
Which One Of These Geniuses Do You Think Ran Onto Wrigley Field Yesterday?
"Dude" or "Sweet." Take your time. Think it over. Would "Dude," with his tilted hat, be brave enough to do it even though he doesn't appear to be wearing enough sunblock? Or will "Sweet" do the honors?...
Minor League Giveaway Just A Little Bit Racist?
Do you see anything wrong with this Ryan Howard lawn jockey — sorry, "garden gnome" — giveaway? The Reading Phillies don't. But then, maybe we shouldn't expect a Reading Rainbow Coalition from Central Pennsylvania. [Inquirer]...
<em>Space Jam</em>: Shameless Corporate Product, Or Sacred Creation Myth?
Everyone knows the timeless tale of Space Jam, in which our Lapine and human friends join forces to ward off the Moron Mountain Monstars. But does it have anything to do with the Mayans' most holy text? One scholar says...maybe....
LeBron Watch, Day 7: Barack Obama Wants To Destroy Basketball In Cleveland
As the first week of LeBron Watch comes to a close, even the president of the United States is weighing in on the important matter, urging the King to come to Chicago....
Is Zach Randolph Indiana's Drug Kingpin?
"According to a probable cause affidavit, a trusted police informant identified Memphis Grizzlie player Zach Randolph as a major marijuana supplier in Indianapolis." Well, that's not so shocking. Oh, you meant supplying to people other than Zach Randolph?...
Today In Tacky World Cup Marketing: Hyundai's Soccer Car
Soccer-ball wheels, soccer-cleat sideviews, artificial-turf interiors make for one hideous promotional vehicle. At the same time, shouldn't every sport be doing this? I want to laugh at a Ford F-150 outfitted with a Buccaneers helmet, stat. [Copyranter]...
A Dog Bit Through This Ultimate Fighter's Penis
Kyacey Uscola was eliminated from The Ultimate Fighter last week. It was the high point of his week, as he soon received an unplanned second urethra opening from an ornery pit bull....
The Public Humiliation Diet: A How-To
I had terrible back pain and I needed to lose weight. I lost sixty pounds in five months. This is how I did it....
Weekend Winner: The Chicago Blackhawks' Bandwagon
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the newest fans of the Stanley Cup finals-bound Blackhawks. They must feel really good about dropping $150 on that Patrick Kane jersey in the UC giftshop....
Why Did Fans Boo Danica Patrick At Indy 500 Qualifying?
Helio Castroneves won the pole for next Sunday's Indy 500. But the real story out of qualifying yesterday was Danica getting lustily booed by the crowd. Let's posit some explanations....
Juan Rivera Goes 1-For-4, Falls Into Temporal Wormhole
Here's a mind-melting Juan Rivera infinite regress from Tuesday's Angels-Rangers game. [Screengrab via reader Josh; video at MLB.com]...
And Suddenly, The Blackhawks Aren't So Likable
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Private Stache: Ken Griffey Jr. Has A Senior Moment
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Wedded Wrestler Of The Week: "Macho Man" Randy Savage
Macho Man, whose first wife was Miss Elizabeth, has at last made an honest woman of his longtime girlfriend, Lynn. Snap into a second marriage! [The Sun]...
Homeless Man Hops Wall, Strolls Across Outfield To Get To Concession Stand
The man interrupted the Altoona Curve's game because "he was thirsty from drinking vodka," so he hopped the outfield wall and made a beeline for the food stand. Actually, that does sound more pressing than completing a Double-A baseball game....