ac Page 1084 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Help Awful Announcing Decide Who's Just As Awful As Joe Morgan
Awful Announcing will remove Joe Morgan from the Lincoln spot on its Mt. Rushmore of awful announcers. They'll replace him with the readers' choice in a 32-person summer tournament. Today: Reilly-Harrelson and Paige-Bayless. Go forth exercise your right! [Reilly-Harrelson, Paige-Bayless]...
The Lockout Will Not Stop Tony Romo And Troy Aikman From Having A Spirited Game Of Beach Football
Yeah, also, Sean Payton's there, in the yellow shirt. Bobby Carpenter's the dude in the giant blue shorts. Stop slobbering, Cowboy fans. We can see you over there....
Top-Heavy Venezuelan Quasi-Celeb Promises To Pose Nude If Her Team Wins Copa America
Ms. Diosa Canales, the lady you see on the horse above, has decided to rep the Venezuelan national team (La Vinotinto, as we native Venezuelans call it) by agreeing to finally get naked if they win the Copa America. She's got a Twitter account and everything....
DeSean Jackson Is Committed To Getting A Season-Ending Injury Before The Lockout Ends
DeSean Jackson, the humble Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver, apparently went on down to MTV's Fantasy Factory to spin around a basketball on some sort of four-wheeled Go-Kart-y contraption and perform some very challenging half-foot drops on a skateboard....
Asafa Powell Beats The Clock, In Lieu Of Beating Usain Bolt
Asafa Powell, the 100-meter world record holder of the pre-Usain Bolt era, claimed the title of Fastest Man in the World, This Year, So Far by running a 9.78 yesterday in Lausanne, Switzerland. That beats the 9.79 that Tyson Gay ran in early June in Clermont, Florida, before Gay dropped off the circ...
Joe Paterno On Stroking And Big Kisses, Completely Out Of Context
Last night, ESPN hosted an hour-long feature called "'Difference Makers: Life Lessons with Paterno and Krzyzewski." The coaches talked about greatness and being great and the ways of the greats and how great it is to be great, and Rece Davis mentioned a few times that they were both quite great. I...
If You've Always Wanted To Hunt a Live Human, Here's Your Willing Prey
This here’s the tale of a fella who calls himself “Mork Encino.” Mork, he has faith in his skills as they apply to both eludin’ and survivin’. He launched a website about it on June 20. It’s called “Hunt Me 4 Sport.” As of last night, there were 21 pictures of him sporting overalls in various poses...
Abandon Hope: Bill Clinton Teams Up With A Health-Insurance Company To Take Some Old Dead Guy's Name Off A Golf Tournament
The Bob Hope Classic, which has been played under that name in California since 1965, is no more. Starting in January 2012, the event will be the Humana Challenge, named for Joey Humana, a beloved comedian (and devoted golfer) who entertained American troops from World War II through the first Gulf ...
Formula One Looks Like It's Coming To Texas Next Year
Plans for the 2012 American Grand Prix to be held at a new racetrack in Austin, are coming to fruition, with the track under construction and a date of June 17, 2012 circled on the F1 calendar....
A Year Ago, Diamondbacks 3B Sean Burroughs Was Drinking 8 Slurpees Daily, Eating Cheeseburgers Out Of A Trash Can
Sean Burroughs, if you'll recall, was once the fraught golden boy of early 2000s NL baseball—the smooth-swinging Padres third baseman who could only hit singles. (His career isolated slugging percentage, .078, is only a fuzz better than Juan Pierre's.) But Burroughs has since resuscitated his pro ca...
Wily Mo Pena Spits A Loogie Into His Helmet, Hits Two-Run Walkoff
Via Awful Announcing, here's Baseball MLB Tonight's involved slo-mo breakdown of Willy Mo Pena's pre-game-winning-homerun ritual: he sends a gob of spit and possibly other substances in his helmet, and then he wears the helmet. Babe might be proud. Babe also might be kind of grossed out....
California Minor League Hockey Team Demands Quite A Lot From Those Applying To Be Its Mascot
Inhabiting a mascot's costume can be demanding work. We know that. But who would have guessed that it had so many prerequisites? Tipster Rick alerts us to this ECHL job posting from the Stockton Thunder. They're looking to hire someone to portray Thor, their mascot....
Sasha Vujacic Cheers On His Fiancée, Maria Sharapova, Like An Ass, Too
Tomorrow's New York Times has a feature on Maria Sharapova and Sasha Vujacic, sports' biggest power couple since Shelden Williams tied the knot with that lady. You probably remember Vujacic from the 2008 NBA Finals, when he and his hair nearly derailed Boston's title chase. He's since been exiled to...
John Calipari Has A Shockingly Logical Plan For Paying Players
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Calipari on how to pay just the ones that bring in the money....
The Face Of Totalitarianism Meets The Righteous Boot Of Democracy
Maybe the North Koreans really were struck by lightning; if "Lightning" is Megan Rapinoe's nickname for her right foot....
Jack McKeon Thinks He Can Silence Logan "Twitter" Morrison; So Far, He Has Not
On Saturday, Trader Jack benched Twitter-happy outfielder Logan Morrison, who's hit .189 in June. McKeon said he would try "something different. Give 'Twitter' a rest." McKeon once thought "Twitter" was Morrison's dog. Now it's just a chiding nickname....
The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
This month, Marv Albert celebrated his 70th birthday and joined the NFL on CBS. He announced he would leave his gig calling Nets games for the YES Network—he wouldn't have the time. The CBS job "wasn't something I was looking for," Albert said. Marv, at 70, is sports' most sought-after voice, so muc...
In Mongo Wrestling Alliance, Metalocalypse's Tommy Blacha brings us a world where pro wrestling is reality
Imagine a world in which professional wrestling dynasties carry the same weight as royal families. Such is the standard operating procedure of Metalocalypse co-creator Tommy Blacha's new Adult Swim cartoon Mongo Wrestling Alliance.… [io9] ...
Here's China Losing Its Olympic Men's Soccer Bid On A Blown Call (Which Was Followed By A Humiliating Collapse)
Regrettably, the Chinese men's soccer team will not have a chance to follow up its 2008 Olympics performance—six goals against, one goal for, two red cards, one vicious episode of crotch-punching—with an appearance in London in 2012. The People's Republic was eliminated from the Asian Olympic qual...
Jim Riggleman Partied Away His Sorrows Last Night
There are very good arguments to be made on both sides of Jim Riggleman's stunning resignation from the Nationals yesterday. You could say that he's earned a contract extension, and you'd be right. You could say that he signed a contract and he should honor it, and you'd be right....