ac Page 1088 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Greatest Racehorse You're Not Celebrating
Win or lose, Zenyatta will retire after Saturday's Breeders' Cup Classic. Win, and she finishes her career without having ever lost. And she'll be even money by post time. Is there some horse sexism at work here?...

Stories That Don't Suck: David Halberstam On Maurice Lucas And The Powers That Be Scared Shitless
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: the late Maurice Lucas, menacing the whistle right out of a ref's mouth....

No, ESPN's Randy Moss Remix End Does Not End With A White Dude In Blackface
This is a remix put together by DJ Steve Porter for ESPN of all the famous Randy Moss soundbites. It's pretty cool, but at the end, DJ Steve shows up in what looks like an afro, a Moss Vikings jersey, and blackface....

Eddie Belfour's Mask Denies Responsibility For <em>Hell Freezes Over</em>
This slideshow about goalie masks is surprisingly educational! Sample: "So resonant was this mask that it inspired the punk band Chixdiggit's 1996 paean to lost love, "(I Feel Like) Gerry Cheevers (I Got Stitch Marks on My Heart)." [NYT]...

Zach Galifianakis Will Probably Smoke Even More Pot On TV If California Legalizes It
On Friday's Real Time, Out Cold funnyman Zach Galifianakis smoked a joint during a panel discussion of California's Proposition 19 ballot initiative. In related news, Fox News's Margaret Hoover probably listens to a lot of Miles Davis on her days off....

Watch Boomer Esiason And Shannon Sharpe Take A Bad Joke To Absurd Lengths
The NFL pregame shows are not funny, yet everyone laughs (more on that in a bit). However, every now and then, one of the terrible jokes takes its terribleness to a new dimension and becomes an absurdist gem....

Texas H.S. Football Team Loses 12-OT Game
With a playoff berth on the line, the Nacogdoches Dragons and Jacksonville Indians were tied at 28 at the end of regulation Friday night. Final score: 84-81....

Is Kurt Warner Living Out An "Eyes Wide Shut" Fantasy With Right-Hand Man Larry Fitzgerald?
Larry Fitzgerald has done absolutely nothing to justify being taken early in fantasy-football drafts. He makes up for that by posting this photo from the "Best Buddies Arizona" event....

The Killer Squirrel Epidemic Could Spell America’s Doom
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

For Those Of You Who Still Don't Think Pat Burrell Is The Gimp-Costumed "Machine"
Here's more proof: The Fightins got their hands on an old photo of Pat The Bat dressed in the gimp outfit seen in Brian Wilson's odd video. The story behind Burrell's get-up is predictably strange. Go read it. [The Fightins]...

What We Have Learned About Brian Wilson And The Machine (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we alerted you to our investigation into Brian Wilson's strange relationship with someone called The Machine. We have since received many leads about the identity of the Machine and just what it all means....

Silencing Joe Buck And Tim McCarver: A Simple Tech Solution To Our Crappy World Series Announcers
Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, Fox's World Series broadcast team, will begin inflicting themselves on a national television audience tonight. Thankfully, technology offers recourse that doesn't involve throwing something heavy at the TV: just synch up the broadcast with radio commentary....

The Deadspin Sources' Gold Club: Now Accepting New Members
Throughout Deadspin's five-year (and counting) history, the bulk of our stories have come from various news items, reader tips, and sources. Our best, most reliable sources become members of what we like to call "The Deadspin Gold Club."...

Jeff Fisher, Private Eye, Goes Clubbing
A day after Kenny Britt got involved in a scuffle at a Nashville nightspot, Fisher went to Karma Lounge — at midnight — and did his own investigation. His findings: Waka Flocka Flame is about to blow up. [Tennessean]...

Is Brian Wilson Into Fetish Porn Or Something? A Video Investigation
In TV interview after TV interview, Giants closer Brian Wilson makes ominous reference to a masked friend called "The Machine." Who or what is The Machine? We investigate in the video below....

I Shaved My Balls For These Hockey Seats
Here's a great little photo ESPN ran with its Saturday post-game hockey coverage. Wonderful wardrobe choice by this fan, whose exasperated expression really adds to him being annoyed at making the extra effort to groom his scrotal region for an NHL game....

Here's Audio Of That ESPN U Reporter Getting Pranked And Wrecking Her Hotel Room (NSFW)
Last week, Elizabeth Moreau was the victim of a prank in which she was prevailed upon to break a window in her hotel room, among other things. Here's a snippet. Head over to The Smoking Gun to listen to the whole thing....

The Ugly, Racially Charged Fight Over A Confederate Mascot. In Vermont.
My small Vermont hometown has made the national news circuit on just a handful of occasions since I was a kid: the Bush-Cheney arrest warrant, the public nudity ban, the closing of the nuclear power plant, the annual cow parade, and the time my high school retired Colonel Reb as our mascot....

Soccer Player Has Heart Attack During Match
Miguel Garcia, a midfielder for Segunda Divsion side Salamanca, is recovering in hospital today after suffering a suspected heart attack during a match against Real Betis on Sunday....

The Brian-Wilson-o'-Lantern Never Caught On, As It Invariably Made Kids Wet Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....