ac Page 1090 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Nash Is A Fancy Boy
I haven't seen a hockey player make a move this fabulous since D.B. Sweeney's one-footed salchow in The Cutting Edge....

The Louts Will Rise Again
This swaying stereotype called Michael, apparently an Ole Miss frat creature, has some thoughts on that controversial "South will rise again" chant. It takes him precisely 10 seconds to say the magic phrase. Hint: It's not pro scientia et sapientia....

Ten Questions To Ask A Man Before You Agree to Marry Him
It's been my experience in life that, while men are more likely to bitch about the institution of marriage, it's WOMEN who more often end up regretting getting hitched....

Please Don't Mention Eggs To Mike McCarthy. Ever.
The Packers fired a 22-year Lambeau Field employee because coach Mike McCarthy thought he heard the guy tell him, "Don't lay an egg." That sounds about right. I wonder if the Metrodome is hiring? [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]...

<em>Chicago Tribune</em> Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
Sammy Sosa's new face has caused quite an international stir, but no more so than Chicago, specifically, the Chicago Tribune which did three different stories about Sosa's "cabeza blanca" that's captivated the nation....

IceGators Coach Defends His Stick Throwing Temper Tantrum
Brent Sapergia says throwing all his team's equipment on the ice wasn't a stunt. He was just really, really mad! (Says the refs weren't looking out for his players.) Tough, but fair. [Puck Daddy]...

Tennessee Football Players Commit Armed Robbery While Wearing Tennessee Clothing
Three members of Lane Kiffin's much-hyped freshman class were arrested early this morning after robbing someone at a convenience store....in the middle of the Tennessee campus....while wearing Tennessee-branded football clothing. What's the opposite of a perfect crime?...

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Arkansas Suspends Just About Everyone Over Gang-Bang Allegations, Rape LOLs, Other Stuff
The Razorbacks will suit up just nine players for their opener on Friday, and five guys in all have been suspended, the penalty for momentarily turning the program into Caligula of the Ozarks....

You'd Lose Your Mind Too, If You Had To Coach Hockey In Louisiana
Brent Sapergia only lasted two games as coach of the Louisiana IceGators, but he made them count—getting thrown out of both and making himself internet famous with an epic, bench-clearing temper tantrum....

The Aaron Rodgers "Sack Tracker" Is Why We Have An Internet
What your life needs now is a detailed interactive chart of all 37 sacks made on the Packers QB this season. I think it was just updated as Rodgers was taken down buying lunch at Quiznos. [Madison.com]...

The Night They Drove The Dickheads Down
Ole Miss' band will stop playing one of the school's fight songs because some history-minded folk insisted on chanting "The South will rise again!" at the end. (Rise from what, exactly? Explosive population growth?) [Commercial Appeal]...

Zach Randolph's Head Continues To Wreak Havoc
Just seven games into his pro career, Grizzlies rookie Hasheem Thabeet breaks his jaw after running into his teammate's rather prodigious melon. Can you eat Memphis BBQ through a straw? [Photo via Memphis Commercial Appeal]...

“My Coach Broke My Collarbone.” Your First Edition Of A-HOLE COACH DIGEST
I've been thinking about terrible coaches lately. Coaches that are not merely incompetent, but also paranoid, megalomaniacal, and prickish. Coaches that are praised for having such qualities, particularly at the college and high school levels....

Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right....

Sammy Sosa Would Like To Clear Up Some Things About His Skin
Sammy Sosa is not hoping to star in the White Chicks sequel. It is not some kind of alleged side affect from any alleged substances he allegedly may have put in his body. He just wants to be beautiful!...

Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie
I have no idea what strange transformation Mr. Sosa is going through, but it's obvious that, yes, something is seriously messed up with Slammin' Sammy's pigmentation....

Forget Strength Of Schedule; Look At This Snazzy Press Release!
The WAC hired a PR firm to convince voters than an undefeated Broncos team would be deserving of a BCS bowl. Okay, but I'm not going on a junket to Boise. [ESPN via Midwest Sports Fans]...

It Never Gets Old
So they spent more money than anyone else. So they didn't have to wait as long as anyone else. Ask us fans if it feels any less amazing. It doesn't....

Spirited Phillies Fan Still Confused By How Internet Works
This Angry Woman is lashing out at you monsters for your "disgusting display of immature rudeness" and something-something-something about her YouTube video which she removed. Visit her in the comments section at your own risk. [Deadspin]...