ac Page 1103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nationals Fire Manager To Cap Most Ridiculous First-Half Ever
In the least surprising firing of ever, Manny Acta is done as the Washington Nationals manager—but will they continue to fail in even more remarkable and outlandish ways in the second half? Or will they just merely suck?...
Zambrano Pitches, Hits, Uses Inverted Pyramid
The Cubs have to be one of the most disappointing teams in the National League. It was nice for Carlos Zambrano to do, well, everything in the game today....
Oddly Enough, Married Athletes Are Still Foolin' Around
And here I thought Steve McNair's death would eradicate unfaithfulness among sports figures, the same way Charles Barkley's DUI was the last one of those to ever happen....
Actually, All Tennis Looks Like This On A Sunday Morning
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Your Awkward And Vaguely Racist Video of the Day: Black Olympics
If you are a connoisseur of sophisticated social satire in the tradition of Mark Twain and Jonathan Swift, prepare yourself for Martellus Bennett's latest opus. It is entitled-simply, eloquently-Black Olympics....
The Erin Andrews Chin Incident: A Reconstruction
What really happened on that fateful night when America's Sideline Princess was viciously attacked by flying baseballs? Just how bad were her injuries? Where was the ball boy/girl for protection? Why is there no video evidence? What are they hiding?!...
Coach's Foot Attacked by Deranged Panamanian Groin
Things got ugly during yesterday's match between Panama and Mexico. I'm not one for pointing fingers, but I'm guessing that the Mexican coach making for this guy's groin (while the ball was in play) didn't exactly defuse the situation....
Best of the Brissed: The First and Last Deadspin Maccabiah Games Preview
Named after the Maccabee family, who vanquished the Greeks despite 6-1 odds and stingy handicapping; the Maccabiah Games bring together 7,000 of the world's best Jewish athletes to satisfy their insatiable lust for gold. Whoa. That came out wrong....
Donte' Stallworth Out Of Jail
Remember how grumpy you were when you heard that Donte' Stallworth only got 30 days in jail for DUI manslaughter? Well, he was just released after only serving 24 of them. Just in time for a three-day weekend! [ESPN]...
Finding Mustachioed Men In St. Louis Will Win You All-Star Game Tickets
The All-Star Game is rife with "bare-faced mortals," so the American Mustache Institute — bless their whiskers — is sponsoring a so-called Stache Dash. Find playing cards of mustachioed legends, win bleacher seats. No facial hair necessary. [AMI]...
<em>Tennessean</em> Brings Out The Dead, Asks About Exciting New Line Of Restaurants
Here's the front page of the Tennessean's weekly Davidson A.M. edition, which is one of those zoned supplements that go yellow on your lawn and contain nothing but Zales ads and the occasional fluffy interview with a dead person....
Where Is The Brotherly Love?
Just when race relations in the United States seemed all hunky-dory — welcome to the White House, Mr. President — a swim club in Philadelphia kicks out 60 minority campers because they would "change the complexion" of the club....
Swoosh Denies LBJ Dunk Cover-Up, Unconvincingly
The flash, apparently official: Nike is now making the implausible case that the two hapless videographers at the LeBron James Skills Academy had flouted a longstanding, super-inviolate "no videotaping" commandment and therefore had to be frisked....
Western Carolina Football Player Dies During Workout
Ja'Quayvin Smalls, a junior defensive back for Western Carolina, collapsed during a voluntary offseason workout yesterday and later died a local hospital. No cause of death has been determined so far....
The Dunk Was "As Good As It Could've Been Hyped Up To Be"
Ryan Miller, the would-be Zapruder whose video of LeBron getting Tom Chambered was commandeered by a Nike goon, has offered a few more details about the incident. Namely: The dunk was awesome, and Bron-Bron was kind of a prick....
The Laws Of Patriotism Will Require You To Root For Coach K In 2012
So, we learned yesterday, Mike Krzyzewski is expected to supplement his day job with a Team USA summer gig for the next three years. "All leads point to Coach K coming back," Jerry Colangelo said. And isn't that joyous!...
Are The Pacers Too White ... Or Not White Enough?
In the time-honored tradition of raising a controversial proposition for the express purpose of shooting it down, Indy Star stalwart Bob Kravitz asks, "Why are the Indiana Pacers so lily white?"...
Somehow, Michael Jackson Was Partly Responsible For Magic Johnson's Greatness
I applaud Magic Johnson's ability to personalize it: "the way he controlled the band...the stage." But I'm sure he'd use the same approach if he were eulogizing a painter or a vacuum cleaner repairman. [Gawker]...
F—k Your Stupid Life Event: A Guide To Gift Giving
I hate buying gifts. I hate shopping for them, even online, which requires only that I click a mouse a few times, maybe fill out your address. NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT....
The Death Of Steve McNair And The War Against Cliché
The eulogies to Steve McNair are pouring in from all points on the compass, and one word seems to be showing up again and again. You know which one: "warrior."...