ac Page 1129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....

ESPN's Lacey Confirms Despicably Mongered Rumor
New York Post reports: "Senior marketing Vice President Kate Lacey is in a hot-and-heavy romance with David Berson, the vice president for programming. 'I'm in an ongoing and known relationship with a peer,' Lacey told The Post." [NY Post]...

UFC 104: Urine For A Good Fight
In advance of tomorrow's UFC 104, let us pause for a moment to consider the merits of drinking your own piss....

Ole Miss Has A(nother) Sensitivity Problem
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Begun, The Hockey Playing Ice Bear War Has
A Russian circus manager was mauled to death by a bear wearing hockey skates. First, Anchorage, then Fairbanks, now Kyrgyzstan? The angry sports bears are officially out to get us. This won't end well for humanity. [BBC]...

ESPN Horndog Dossier: Kate Lacey
Who? Exactly. Lacey, SVP of Marketing for ESPN, was a popular subject in our tips box dating back to last year. Why? Why do people despise this woman so much?...

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sexual Depravity
On September 9, we received a tip. Subject: "S. Phillips." The contents? "Rumor winding it's way around the hallowed halls of the WWL is that Steve Phillips is getting canned tomorrow for an offense on par with Harold Reynold's misdeed."...

You Can Have Your Own Temple Of Failure
Since no one wanted to buy it, the Pontiac Silverdome is going up for auction. There's no minimum bid, so there's a very strong chance Wayne Fontes will buy it and move in. [Williams & Williams]...

Jeff Fisher Mental Breakdown Watch, Day 1
The "leader" of the 0-6 Titans showed up to speak at a Nashville luncheon today wearing a Peyton Manning jersey. Said he "just wanted to feel like a winner." See, it's hilarious because he's a failure! [MusicCityMiracles/RecklessLove]...

The Learning Curve: The Replacement Refs
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Stacy Andrews Accused Of Lovingly Punching Girlfriend
I always got Eagles offensive linemen Shawn Andrews and Stacy Andrews confused. But now I have a handy way of distinguishing the two: Shawn is insane, and Stacy is accused of face-punching his lady....

Black Mexican Prevents Black Out
Chad Ochocinco, along with the fine folks at Motorola, bought up the remaining unsold Bengals tickets to prevent a TV blackout on Sunday. Also, if you want to see "Law Abiding Citizen" tonight, he'll pay for that too. [WKRC/Twitter]...

ESPN's HS Football Contract Is Underwhelming
So, just how much does ESPN pay school districts to televise their prep football games? A cool $1000. It's all about the Clevelands. [AJC]...

Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
If beer commercials and 80s movies are to be believed, everything's bigger in Australia. Except the jockeys; they're little people. And the horses; they're regular size people....

Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....

Obama's Body Man Gets Bodied Up
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

This Man Died 27 Points Too Early
An 89-year-old Lincoln man emerged from a coma to fulfill his last wish - to watch Nebraska play Missouri before dying. The worst part - he lost consciousness before NU's fourth quarter comeback. [World Herald]...

Rick Reilly®'s Hornball Simile Propels Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Into Momentary Google Fame (UPDATE)
Colt McCoy, Rick Reilly® writes, "has a girlfriend hotter than shrimp vindaloo, Rachel Glandorf." The first thing you'll notice is that he's analogizing a woman to Indian cuisine. The second: He names her, awkwardly. And now look what he's done......

Stephen Jackson Ain't Leading Nobody Nowhere
Stephen Jackson doesn't want to be the captain of the Warriors anymore because all you do is "talk to the refs." That and he hates his coach and is demanding a trade. How will they survive without that leadership? [SFChronicle]...

Forget All Other Tributes: Presenting The Favre Firebird
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....