ac Page 1152 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
If beer commercials and 80s movies are to be believed, everything's bigger in Australia. Except the jockeys; they're little people. And the horses; they're regular size people....

Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....

Obama's Body Man Gets Bodied Up
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

This Man Died 27 Points Too Early
An 89-year-old Lincoln man emerged from a coma to fulfill his last wish - to watch Nebraska play Missouri before dying. The worst part - he lost consciousness before NU's fourth quarter comeback. [World Herald]...

Rick Reilly®'s Hornball Simile Propels Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Into Momentary Google Fame (UPDATE)
Colt McCoy, Rick Reilly® writes, "has a girlfriend hotter than shrimp vindaloo, Rachel Glandorf." The first thing you'll notice is that he's analogizing a woman to Indian cuisine. The second: He names her, awkwardly. And now look what he's done......

Stephen Jackson Ain't Leading Nobody Nowhere
Stephen Jackson doesn't want to be the captain of the Warriors anymore because all you do is "talk to the refs." That and he hates his coach and is demanding a trade. How will they survive without that leadership? [SFChronicle]...

Forget All Other Tributes: Presenting The Favre Firebird
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Davies Update: South Africa Looking Unlikely
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jackie Robinson A Republican Hero, Say Republicans
One of the most asked questions we here at Deadspin get is "If Jackie Robinson were alive today, how would he vote?" Well, someone's offered an answer....

U.S. Striker Charlie Davies In Surgery After Serious Car Accident (UPDATE)
The national team's promising 23-year-old forward was apparently involved in this grim one-car accident along the George Washington Parkway, which ripped an SUV in half. One woman died at the scene. Davies' injuries are reportedly not life-threatening....

NBA Locker Rooms Terrorized By Giant Rubber Balls
The Sacramento Kings have sent an urgent directive to all NBA teams warning them to be on the lookout for the large exercise ball that brutally attacked and maimed forward Francisco Garcia. It is considered round, squishy and extremely dangerous....

The Hunt For Mr. October
A-Rod, through 42 postseason games: .291, 25 RBIs, 9 HRs, 46 hits, 158 at-bats, not a True Yankee, not clutch. Reggie Jackson, through his first 42: .265, 19 RBIs, 7 HRs, 40 hits, 151 at-bats, True Yankee, clutch. [Village Voice]...

Kevin Durant Not A Fan Of Mildly Abstruse Basketball Metrics
Durant responds, via Twitter, to criticism of his oddly atrocious plus-minus rating: "love all the REAL basketball fans who appreciate hardwork, passion and love for the game..and not jus 'plus and minuses'...wateva dat is!" Somewhere, Joe Morgan nods. [Twitter, TrueHoop]...

Paul Lo Duca Owes A Horse Pimp Money
The former catcher/current racing analyst is being sued for nearly half a million dollars for not ponying up the cash to breed his mare to superstud Storm Cat. You think you can just watch animals hump for free? [Thoroughbred Times]...

Um, No.
They've fixed it now, but for a few hours last night the LA Times web people got Corey Perry and Braydon Coburn mixed up with a race horse and her jockey. Happens all the time. [LA Times]...

Where's (The Great) Waldo?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Pacific Boxer Does Not Wish You Sweet Dreams Tonight
Pacific University—not to be confused with The University of the Pacific—has a mascot who likes to play tennis. He may also be the Gatekeeper of Gozer, but I wouldn't worry too much about that....

South Carolina Golfer Loses Arm To Angry Alligator
A 70-year-old tries to retrieve his ball from the drink, but a 10-foot alligator decided he'd rather pull the guy into the water and chew on him awhile. They should make a hilarious movie about that! [Fanhouse/ESPN/OurKitchenSink]...

Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...

White Trash Rebels Fans Would Like To See This Man Dead Over White Trash Comments
The SEC is littered with pugnacious rivalries, and one Bama'-banged Zabka named Taylor Fortenberry created his usual trash-talk video before this week's Ole Miss clash. Unfortunately, now Ole Miss fans want to kill him. Dead. For real....