ac Page 1153 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Philly Fans Aren't The Only Ones Who Get Stabby
Lost and forlorn over Monday night's lost to the rival Vikings, one Packer fan took it upon himself to show one loudmouth he couldn't take the heckling anymore. So he stabbed him in the stomach. [StarTribune]...
Australian Racing Fans Forced To Be Slightly Less Drunk Than Normal
Australia's legendary Bathurst 1000 motorcar race has been besieged by drunkenness in recent years, so this year police are cracking down. Only one case of beer, per person, per day. Show some restraint, people! [Telegraph/Sports Rubbish]...
Alabama Father Pleased Daughter's Domestic Dispute Won't Interfere With Football Season
Alabama linebacker Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend both agreed to dismiss charges filed against the other after a lover's spat this summer. No one is more excited about this than the girl's father who exited the courthouse shouting, "Roll Tide!"...
Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio]...
Even The Aflac Duck Has It Out For The Mets
Since we won't have them to kick around in October, let's dump this here. [Via]...
Ball The Pretty Horses: High Schoolers Show School Spirit With Equine Double-Team T-Shirts (UPDATE)
It seems a few hairy-palmed scamps at Houston's Memorial High School recently sold the t-shirt you see here to commemorate their Mustangs' football game against archrival Stratford. Think this is the only bit of Memorial-related horsefucking? Nay!...
Disturbed Prop-Wielding Fanbase Enjoys Slightly Important Victory
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Get Ready To Favre Your Favren' Brains Out
Obviously, there's nothing left to be said about tonight's BIGGEST GAME EVER. (At least until next month when they play again in Green Bay. That might get some press, too.)...
This Is What You Call The Hebert Salute
Former Saints quarterback Bobby Hebert let the shit-kickin' hillbilly overtake him after the Saints bullied the ball away from Captain Poise Pants to score a touchdown and put the game away....
Zombie Pat Tillman Would Be Playing For Bill Belichick Right Now, Peter King Reports
In March 2003, the United States embarked on a misbegotten and illegitimate war in Iraq that would have profound and sadly irrevocable consequences on ... the 2005 NFL free-agent market. So says Peter King....
Even High School Football Players Are Destroying Their Brains
The doctor who sliced open the late Mike Webster's brain and determined that football can cause severe and debilitating brain damage has discovered the same sort of neurodegenerative disease in high school players. Are you ready for some Congressional hearing?...
Obama's Agony of Defeat
Our President found one community his thugs couldn't organize into submission: the International Olympic Committee. Without their usual control of the ballots, Obama's adoptive hometown cronies found themselves, for once, on the losing side of an election....
Who Is To Blame For Chicago's Olympic-Sized Failure?
Chicago did everything it could to bring the Olympics home....or did it? After all that time, effort and money wasted, someone needs to pay—and there are plenty of places to point your fingers. So let's assign some blame!...
Your Depressing Pirates Story For The Day
Pittsburgh farmhand Eric Hacker finally made his major league debut last week at PNC Park, a nice moment for which one lone fan applauded. One. And now the fan's been found. Fittingly, he writes horror novels....
The One With The Overabundance Of Crotch
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Shawn Chacon Even Worse At Gambling Than He Was At Pitching
Las Vegas authorities have issued an arrest warrant for former Astro Shawn Chacon, after he allegedly passed $150,000 worth of bad checks at Caesar's Palace. Even worse, he always tries to split face cards. [Las Vegas Sun]...
NFL Gets Brained By Its Own Study
The NFL is slowly coming around to the idea that football can cause significant cognitive damage to its participants. Previously, this view was held by only players, fans, neuroscientists and those members of Western civilization not on the NFL's payroll....
Tigers And Twins Desperately Trying To Make You Care About Baseball
The 2009 baseball season has been a bit of a dud, drama-wise. So how about a final week double-header that will MEAN EVERYTHING! Or change everything. Or solve nothing? I forget how these dramatic finishes are supposed to work....
Rasheed Wallace Never Goes Anywhere Without His Extra Prosthetic Leg
"That was the scene in the lobby Sunday afternoon at Lincoln Financial Field. Wallace, wearing a No. 58 Chiefs jersey, tossed a man's prosthetic leg back and forth." Somehow that paragraph makes perfect sense to me. [KC.com/StylePoints]...
You're Not Dispelling Any Stereotypes Here, CFL
Think that Browns rookie was pissed? After a practice spat, a CFL lineman stormed off the field, then returned waving a shovel. What a uniquely Canadian way to settle an argument. [AP]...