ac Page 1159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pretty Young Actress Spends Free Time Stopping Pucks With Her Face
Hockey parents and stage parents probably have a lot in common, what with the driving their kids all over the country in pursuit of the fleeting hope of money and stardom....

Mike Piazza's Bacne Was Legendary And Suspicious
Mike Piazza's volcanic back acne has been discussed on this site before and now, cranky old writer Murray Chass is enlightening us with his own (deleted) tales of Piazza's zit-covered past....

God Lights The Way For Kurt Warner, Demands 15 Percent
Kurt Warner officially announced his new deal with the Cardinals on Wednesday, saying that it was God who told him to eschew the 49ers and return to Arizona....

Pat Burrell's Vaunted Bat May Actually Be Made Of Maple, Porn Star Says
No idea who Sophia Rossi is, but she's apparently slept with a lot of people. Like Tommy Lee, for instance. Oh, and ex-Phillie (sniffle) Pat Burrell, who she wasn't too impressed with....

Hello, This Is President Obama Calling On Behalf Of Oregon State
Oregon State basketball coach Craig Robinson said he wouldn't be above using President Obama for recruiting purposes. Presumably he was kidding. Or considering how competitive Div. I basketball recruiting is, maybe not....

Warner Loves And Leaves 49ers, Agrees To Makeup Sex With Cardinals
Two days after he was romanced by the 49ers via limo and private jet, Kurt Warner agreed to a two-year deal with the Cardinals, ESPN is reporting. What a slut....

Maurice Jones-Drew Might Be High Right Now
The lilliputian running back tells Dan Patrick that he's better than most of the running backs in the league. Oh, and he's also training in Egypt, you know, running the pyramids. What a rapscallion. [DP]...

Lane Kiffin's Still Surrounded By Aura Of Wackiness
It appears one player was a little rattled by the Vols' recruiting techniques. Like, when a special teams coach ripped off his shirt "Superman style" to show how intense he was. [AJC]...

Plaxico Burress Can Come Back As Long As He Stops Shooting Himself In The Leg
Giants GM, Jerry Reese: "Right now he is still a Giant and if things work out and he's on board with what we want coming back, we'd love to have him back." [SI]...

Terrorists Ambush Sri Lankan Cricket Team
Need more depressing sports news today? How about terrorists taking their stupid fight to defenseless cricket players?...

Bubba The Love Sponge Is A Midget Racing Dad
Sirius Radio host and Hulk Hogan BFF Bubba The Love Sponge Clem has his own racing team, where his top driver is his son, six-year-old Tyler Clem. [10 Connects]...

Everybody Loves Kurt
Kurt Warner says that his trip to San Francisco wasn't a leverage ploy, but look! The Cardinals — who have been intractable for weeks — have suddenly upped their contract offer by three million bucks....

What's $1.5 Million Between Friends?
Jon Heyman reports that $43.5 million over two years is the new number the Dodgers need to cough up for Manny's services this year That's what Manny reportedly passed along to Boras. [SI.com]...

Usain Bolt To Asafa Powell: "Fix My Car"
Asafa Powell lost the "World's Fastest Man" title to Usain Bolt, then spent the winter fixing up Bolt's Honda Accord. Is that sadder than the fact that the "World's Fastest Man" drives an Accord? [Australian]...

Curt Schilling Denies Cubs Rumors, Sort Of
For confusing adventures in sports blogging, take a look at this entry from Curt Schilling's 38 Pitches on Sunday, concerning rumors that he might be headed to the Chicago Cubs:...

The Blackhawks Did Not Think This Promotion Through
Jonathan Toews scores three goals (twice) on "Free Hard Hat Night" in Chicago. Nothing says "NHL fun" like getting pelted by a shower of shiny red plastic helmets. [Not Qualified To Comment]...

Arkansas QB Drunk, Arrested, Internet-Slandered
Michigan transfer Ryan Mallett was arrested last night for the always popular "public intoxication" and, naturally, his Wikipedia page has already been defaced. It's the circle of life. [Friends of the Program + ArkansasSports360]...

Real Joba Chamberlain Does Almost Better With Ladies Than Fake Joba Chamberlain
He'll see your Asbury Park skanks and raise you a Rock Star energy model. [3:10 To Joba via Busted Coverage]...

Chris Bosh, Shaq on Brink Of Twitter Armageddon
Shaq lights up the Raptors for 45 points and 11 boards last night and is thoroughly convinced that he could be that productive every night if gets "touches like that." Chris Bosh has another theory....