ac Page 1168 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
WooHoo! We Have A Big Gold Cup!
On the strength of a ridiculously good volley off the foot of someone named Benny Feilhaber, the United States men's soccer team continued their ownership of Mexico today, winning 2-1 and bringing home the CONCACAF Gold Cup....
Way Less Charming Than Harold And Maude
There's a lot of track and field on TV today, but it's the boring kind. It's the kind where the female athletes are older than 16, and they aren't married to their 40-year-old track coaches. But don't worry, we've got that covered, too....
Pacman Jones Murders Pacman Jones' Dreadlocks
It always seems like the hair is the first casualty in the cleansing of one's image. Pacman Jones, seen there to your right, has not only washed the stripper glitter off of his face, but he's shorn his traditional dreadlocks. His agent says he was going for a more clean-cut, less dangerous image ......
For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, NFL Europa Football. World Bowl XV. 2:00, ESPN2. LPGA Golf. Wegmen's LPGA, Third Round. 2:00, NBC. Track and Field. AT&T U.S. Outdoor Championships. 3:00, ESPNU. High School Football. Belle Glades Central (Fla.) vs. Byrnes (S.C.) 3:00, NBC. World Series of Golf. 3:00, CBS. PGA Golf. Travelers ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you rake the living room ... • NHL: NHL draft, day 1, at Columbus, Ohio. We're in front of the TV until Monday. [Versus] • Motor sports: NASCAR Nextel Cup, Toyota/Save Mart 350, practice and pole qualifying, at Sonoma, Calif. We can never find a good parking place at these things. [...
Cow Tipping In Madison Is Absolutely Unacceptable
Sometimes, considering our own background, we have a hard time understanding some of these newfangled athlete malfeasances. This "Making It Rain" ... that didn't come up much in Mattoon (though the crops sure could have used it!)...
Another Reason To Have Him On Your Fantasy Team
The man here is Patriots running back Lawrence Maroney, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has discovered that his Facebook page is not to be underestimated....
This Is Why That Child Was Beating Your Ass
As anyone who watches "The Colbert Report" knows, children are a national menace that plan on taking the planet from us. And, to expedite the process, they're all now taking steroids....
All The Big Stars Come Out To St. Louis
Texas Tech coach Bob Knight and "Arliss" — sorry: "Arli$$" — star Robert Wuhl were guests of Cards manager Tony La Russa during last night's brutal, nasty, hideously played 14-inning Cardinals-Royals game. (The Cardinals won, but it was not something they should be proud of.)...
About Last Night
What you missed while mowing the front lawn with scissors ... • College baseball: No ants for you! Oregon State 7, UC Irvine 1. • MLB: Sammy Sosa hits No. 600, pending results of your analysis. • MLS: Just a glorified Crew ... Columbus over Kansas City 2-1, like we had to tell you....
Police Make It Rain On Pac Man
So much for Pac Man Jones just being an innocent bystander in that strip club shooting ... he's been formally charged with two counts of felony coercion....
Robots Ride Camels Better Than Children
Like you, we are aware of the upcoming robot apocalypse. Our human emotion is our primary weakness and will lead to our ultimate downfall....
The Real Irony Is They Just Mopped That Street
Many years from now, when we all have personal jet packs and Brett Favre finally retires, mop jousting will be as commonplace at buttered toast. ESPN will have four channels devoted to it, all hosted by Mike Golic. Your kid will be in a mop jousting league. Every family will own at least seven mops....
Not A Coach, But He Played One On TV
We happily welcome Reggie Theus, mustached oiled man of mystery, back to the NBA, thanks to his new gig as head coach of the Sacramento Kings. Theus, of course, is probably more famous for his modeling and thespian work than his coaching, though he did bring New Mexico State to the NCAA tournament l...
Those Crazy Kids At Shea Can't Get Along
The Mets won last night, but clearly, something's going wrong with that team, sublimely timed for the Sports Illustrated cover jinx. Over at Nyjer Please, they've got some "inside" info that the team no longer gets along. And the problem seems to be ... Julio Franco?...
You Know, You Think You Know A Guy
One would think that, after all that's gone down with him over the past year or so, Pac Man Jones would steer clear of the following things:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while entertaining your octopus ... • MLB: They've got the blues ... Padres 11, Cubs 3. • Golf: Today Tiger Woods, tomorrow the Falklands! Angel Cabrera wins U.S. Open. • Tennis: Shazam, Andy! Roddick wins fourth Queen's Club title....
At Least Seven Dead in Tennessee Drag Racing Accident
A 15-year-old, a 17-year-old, and others in their early 20s were killed last night during something called an "exhibition burnout" in Selmer, Tennessee. One of the cars spun out of control and into the crowd, killing seven and injuring at least 15 more. From the AP:...
John Stockton Thinks This Is Excessive
Brandon Lloyd (I think that's who it is) appears to be impressed with the look. I can't tell if that look on his face says, "Man, you are crazy," or "I sho' wouldn't mind hittin' that from the back."...
What, Like House Of Pain Was Gonna Do Anything?
Seems like there are a lot of scuffles outside of nightclubs these days. And more and more, it seems like these scuffles are accompanied by someone pulling out a gun and shooting it into the air ... because nothing defuses a situation better than spontaneous gunfire....