ac Page 1183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sir, I Strongly Protest Your Driving Habits
We're sure you've seen this, but we kind of had to bring it up anyway. If you're like us, you can't be pulled away from the television with a herd of wild ponies during an ARCA stock car race.* One reason is that these guys are always grapplin', and they aren't just your everyday tussles like you se...
You Know What's Funny? She's Actually The Swimming Judge
Life as a judge in the javelin toss ain't so easy ... there is, for example, the whole issue of being hit with a javelin....
Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...
New Looks For D-Backs, Reds
What to do if your team struggles late and is unable to sneak into the playoffs after a somewhat surprising season? Change your logo, of coruse....
Jason Whitlock Leaves ESPN With Guns Ablaze
Now that columnist Jason Whitlock has officially written his final column for ESPN Page 2, he is perhaps a bit more free to speak his mind; the kids at AOL Sports, his new online employer, tend to have a thicker skin on such matters....
Zach Randolph Has Miserable Sex Shows
So if you're not up on all the details of the Zach Randolph sexual assault case, The Oregonian has the brutal details of the case (in PDF form) — for which Randolph will not be charged; prosecutors said they couldn't find enough evidence that the sex wasn't consensual — and it's anything but pleas...
Look Inside Big Ben. WAY Inside
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger made his return from an appendectomy — and, ostensibly, from that little head-vs.-pavement business — last night, and it didn't go well, with the Jaguars shutting out Big Ben and the Steelers 9-0 on Monday night. It was the lowest scoring game in Monday Night ...
For Walsh's Opponents, The End Is Near
If Anna Kournikova would like to get back into competitive sports, may we suggest the Association of Volleyball Professionals Tour? That's beach volleyball, in case you didn't know; two-person teams square off on a 15-event circuit with stops from New York to California. But that's not important r...
That's Never Been MY Experience
Do me a favor. Click this link, check out the headline, then come back. I'll wait....
Dr. Z Hangs Out With Swimsuit Models
We know, we know: The unconditional love for SI scribe Rick Reilly's "Riffs Of Reilly" segment — sample comedic genius moment: "USC's quarterback is John David Booty and Texas' is Colt McCoy. Hey, weren't both those guys on 'Gunsmoke?'" Oh, Rick, you slay us! — makes you think that SI.com must be so...
Now, Now, We're Sure Irvin Has Close To The Right Number Of Chromosomes
So that whole Tom Jackson calling Michael Irvin a "retard" thing from yesterday? Absolutely true, absolutely happened, and here's video, via Dejuiced....
Eventually, It Will Just Be A Graphic Below Irvin's Name
So we haven't actually seen this, so we need someone to confirm it for us, preferably with video. Let that be our disclaimer prologue....
The Fast And The Furryous
If you sat through more than one college football game on Saturday, then obviously you forgot that this past weekend was also the opening of hamster ball racing season. PETCO sponsored races at nearly all of its 800 stores in the U.S. on Saturday, which they called the Hamster Ball Derby. Accordin...
Perhaps Fergie Can Return Punts
They opened up the Pink Taco yesterday ... and the Black Eyed Peas welcomed a new member....
At Least He Didn't Biggie Size
So there are some new details about our new favorite assistant coach, the Lions' Joe Cullen, concerning his arrest for driving in the nude....
NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......
NFL Pants Party: NFC North
We do the riverdance, a manly dance, through the NFC North, land of paternity suits, custody issues, nude assistant coaches, Brett Favre and, of course, sex boats....
A Little Fired Up Down In The Red Zone
Forget the exploits of Peyton Manning and Ben Rothelisberger. Years from now, when you're balancing your great grandchildren on your knee, you can tell them that you were there on the day that Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen was arrested for driving in the nude. "But was he totally nude, gr...
NFL Season Previews: Jacksonville Jaguars
We are officially one day before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their face...
"This Is The Parts Where They Say Who They Thinks Gonna Win"
In his nightmares, this is what Chris Fowler imagines every viewer of College GameDay is like....