ac Page 1185 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Great American Beckham Experiment Appears to Be Over
Due to return to Los Angeles Galaxy on March 8, Beckham now says he wants to stay in Italy. Tom Cruise and I are just devastated. [The Sun]...
Idiot Fan Attacks Referee (Who Is Also A Cop)
"Rempala said, 'You can't arrest me, you're a referee,' and he pushed the trooper again...once he realized the referee he attacked really was a trooper, [he] reportedly said, 'That's not fair.'" [TimesOnline]...
Gerald Wallace's Tour Bus Will Not Be Rocking (Because Of His Broken Lungs)
Gerald Wallace—still recovering from a collapsed lung—will make the 2,400-mile trip back to Charlotte on a bus. No word on if he will bring 12 drunk women in an effort to find true love. [AP]...
ONE FOOT DOWN
He only had one foot down! One foot! I'll get over this eventually. [The Will Leitch Experience]...
Parents Beating Up Refs; How We've Missed You
This one comes from London, Ontario, and while I'm not sure what age the players are, I'm guessing they are mighty young. (I think it was Henry Kissinger who said that "hockey parents are so vicious, precisely because the players are so small.") The fight itself was largely uneventful—no charges wer...
Hoops Team Tries Performance-Enhancing "Suggestions"
A high school basketball coach in Kansas hypnotizes his struggling team; they win their next game by 10. Hey, it makes as much scientific sense as teaching evolution, am I right? [Wichita Eagle]...
Without Eternal Vigilance, It Could Happen Outside Of Your City College Women's Softball Practice
Santa Barbara police arrested a "middle-aged male" for masturbating in the parking lot where the Santa Barbara City College softball team was practicing. Carl Monday is not amused....
Hey, Did You And I Just Buy Santonio Holmes A New Cadillac Escalade?
Whatever happened to the tradition of General Motors giving the Super Bowl MVP a new car? It happened; it's just that GM wanted to keep the presentation quiet this year. And for good reason....
The God Save The Fan (Paperback Edition) FAQ
Today, the paperback version of God Save The Fan is released to bookstores. There's some stuff that's different than the last version....
On-Court Drowning Nearly The Most Exciting Highlight Of OKC Thunder Season
If you've even been to a live sporting event in North America, then you've probably seen some terrible halftime entertainment—but that's because so few halftimes involve a death-defying act that actually defies death....
In Wisconsin, The Buzzsaw Defeats Truman
Well. At least the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel had supreme confidence in the Arizona Cardinals' defense....
New Snack Food Stadium Rises To Challenge Predecessor's Deliciousness
The question we have to ask ourselves is this: How can mankind continue to build bigger, grander snack food stadiums, yet still fail to cure cancer or achieve peace in the Middle East?...
Jerks Deface Kay Yow Tribute
Pranks between rival colleges are always side-splittingly clever and witty (Goat stealing! Amazing!) but you know what's really funny? Cancer!...
Steeler Victory Parade Is Set ... No Guns, Knives, Nunchucks Please
Yeah, that Steelers victory parade that the city said it couldn't afford? It begins Tuesday at noon at Mellon Arena. [Business Times]...
Cranky Writer Says "Best Super Bowl Ever" Proclamations Are Silly
SI writer Andrew Perloff gives five reasons why Super Bowl XLIII shouldn't be considered epic. [For The Record]...
Don't Be The Only Kid On Your Block Without One Of These
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....
Your Morning After Super Bowl Cardinals-Were-Hosed Post
Not saying that the last play by Warner was or wasn't an incomplete pass, but did officials actually look at the replay? Couldn't God have thrown a red flag from the heavens? [YouTube]...
Tonight, We Are All Buzzsaw
All told, I'm not quite as sad as Sad Vader here. This seems like the only way it could have happened....
Super Bowl XLIII Live Blog: The Battle To Legitimize Already-Printed Merchandise
Whose team will reign supreme? The guys whose fans wave towels or the guys whose state has vowels? Which QB wins: the one who found Christ or whose appendix was sliced?...
You Are Looking At One Of The Richest Men In The NFL
Eli will apparently become one of the highest paid players in the league after new deal is finalized. [National Football Post]...