ac Page 1193 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joba Chamberlain Makes Clumsy Pass At Erin Andrews, Becomes Mortal (WITH UPDATE)
Actually I have no idea what the Yankees' Joba Chamberlain said to Erin Andrews at the conclusion of their interview on Wednesday, but whatever it was, Andrews was obviously repulsed. You can check out the video here and judge for yourself. Man, it looks like she just ate a bug. So then can it just ...
NBA Playoff Underdogs Strike Back!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was glad to see that Pat Riley's 20/20 Rule was in full effect for the Cavs-Wizards game. When he's not drawing attention to these obscure coaching references, he can be found filing his nails at Basketbawful. Enjoy! This is all Tracy McGrady's fault. A...
Kenneth Keith Kallenbach Finally Gets His Wings
Howard Stern fans will know Kenneth Keith Kallenbach for his lifelong membership as one of the "Wack Pack" and his odd, disturbing, unfunny bits as the stoner kid with the big dreams that would never amount to anything. A Philadelphia area native and Phillies fan, Kallenbach was one of those "comedi...
NBA Playoffs: A Thursday Night Viewer's Guide
There are still many unanswered questions about the world in which we live, but science has proven two things: Hot chicks rule (see above) and it becomes increasingly difficult to think the closer we get to the weekend. So I'm here to let you know what you should look out for in tonight's NBA playof...
Tracy McGrady Is The Reason You Sometimes Feel Lonely
The Tracy McGrady death watch will continue tonight in Salt Lake City, where authorities are planning a raid on the McGrady compound after reports of multiple episodes of martyrdom. It's all getting ugly for Tracy....
Welcome Back, Pacman; We Await The Rain You Shall Make
So, now that Pacman Jones has joined the Dallas Cowboys, we ask: How will he deal with the changing rules for Dallas-area strip clubs?...
Don't Make Them Angry. You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angry
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait for the new Hulk movie and thinks Edward Nortan is the perfect heir to Bill Bixby. When he's not watching NBA officials river dance, he can be found admiring Roger Mason's superhuman strength at Basketbawful. Enjoy! They're finally awake now....
It's Raining In Dallas...Pacman's A Cowboy
Ed Werder just called from the ESPN Mort phone into Sports Center and said that the Cowboys have worked out a deal to bring Adam "Pacman" Jones to Big D. The Titans have agreed "in principle" to a trade, so we're assuming that means that the components of the deal have yet to be finalized....
Media Approval Ratings: Tom Jackson
Because it's Draft Week, we're focusing on some NFL guys this week, and we always like to touch on Tom Jackson whenever we have the chance....
Barry Zito Rules The Kingdom Of Fail
Barry Zito and the Giants; has there been a worse investment, ever? That SUV you bought in 2006, perhaps? The first 12 episodes of John From Cincinnati? You've got to hand it to him though; even after struggling through his suckiest performance of the season on Tuesday, he faced reporters afterward...
Youth Prevails! (Except In San Antonio)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of last night scribbling CP3-4-Me all over his Trapper Keeper. When he's not man-loving on Chris Paul, he can be found practicing his Duncan face at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The doctor is most definitely in. Chris Paul may not have graduated from...
About Last Night
What you missed while nervously checking your pants every 10 minutes ... • NBA: The Spurs always seem to show up for the playoffs, eh? San Antonio 102, Phoenix 96. • NFL: Shaun is long gone. Sad, really. • MLB: Abreu's power surge supports Yankees' undefeated Wang. Or something like that....
Pennsylvanians, Slam "Dunk" That "Vote"
If you happen to one of our Pennsylvania-area readers — and we know that some of you do, in fact, exist — we hope you've already made it out there and voted....
Alas, Poor T-Mac...I Knew Him, Horatio!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never, ever forget McGrady's greatness in defeat. He's kind of like a 21st century Dominique Wilkins, if 'Nique had never made it out of the first round. When he's not praising T-Mac, he's probably making fun of him at Basketbawful. Enjoy! He was t...
Yankee Stadium:Ground Zero For All Things Pope-Y
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protes...
Did The Cubs Throw The 1918 World Series?
So get this: the Sporting News claims to have unearthed evidence that the Chicago Cubs may have taken a dive in the 1918 World Series, one year before the Chicago White Sox made the practice fashionable. Yes, instead of 100 years of frustration, the Cubs could be on the verge of a mere 90-year futil...
Pistons Eat Jerseys, Choke On Game
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's in bed smoking a cigarette after a fulfilling weekend of playoff action. When he's not replaying the events over and over in his head, you can find him basking in the afterglow at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Memo to the Pistons: You might wanna take these gu...
Tim Duncan: Awesomming From Everywhere (Even Three-Point Range)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's freaking excited about the freaking playoffs. So if you hear about him doing anything else at any time, it wasn't really him. Unless he's talking about beersomnia and bad movies at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Tim Duncan was legen...wait for it...dary. Timm...
This Week's Tasered Athlete: Tim Worley
Wait, you don't remember him? Me neither, so let's revisit his career. Tim Worley was a great running back for the University of Georgia (an All-American, at that) and the seventh overall draft pick by the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1989. He didn't have much of a pro career, lasting only four seasons, r...
Maddux Left For Dead, Doesn't Actually Die
Thursday "night"'s game for San Diego lasted all of 22 innings. Friday's game against the Arizona Diamondbacks was over after just one inning, when they were losing 6-0. And as impressive as Dan Haren, Conor Jackson, Justin Upton, THE UNPREDICTABLE ERIC BYRNES WOBBITY WOK, and all of the other Diamo...