ac Page 1194 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pope Benedict XVI Needs To Borrow Your Cup
Close observers of the Catholic religion know that the Pope will always come up throwing after a diving catch; unless it's the final out of an inning, of course. In that case, His Most Holy Father will make sure that the umpire sees the ball in his mitt. Another Papal web gem! I can't count the numb...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remembering Seals Stadium ... • NHL: Playoffs, Eastern Conference quarterfinals, Game 4, Washington at Philadelphia (7 p.m., ET), Western Conference quarterfinals, Game 5, Calgary at San Jose (10 p.m., ET). Flame on! [Versus] • Soccer: MLS, Columbus at D.C. United (8 p.m., ET). Q...
Clay Bennett Is Happy To Screw Oklahoma Too
For some reason, we imagined Oklahoma City welcoming Clay Bennett and the Sonics with arms extended, lying prostrate, screaming "thank you" to the heavens. Anytime someone does something to a city as horrible as what Bennett has done to Seattle, there has to be someone who benefits, right? Other tha...
Webb Rising, Zito Waning In The West
That sonic boom you heard in San Francisco on Wednesday was caused by pitchers Brandon Webb and Barry Zito. The former Cy Young winners are moving so quickly in opposite directions that the rapid heating and expansion of air has created enough pressure to cause explosive sound waves in China Basin....
The NBA Playoff Puzzle Is Finally Complete
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's "resting his starters" today. So you can find him stretching and doing some light jogging at Basketbawful. Enjoy! They ain't dead yet! Apparently, rumors of San Antonio's demise were greatly exaggerated, because the Spurs pulled an "Ivan Drago versus ...
Nothing Good Comes Out Of A Bottle Of Belvedere
In looking at this picture of a gangsta-casual Stephen Jackson swigging from a Belvedere bottle at a party, it's impossible not to worry about the potential repercussions he'll have to endure once this photo hit the web. Because, remember what happened to the last person who took decided that aggre...
Jackie Chan Threatens To Chop Protesters, Make 'Rush Hour 4'
Leave it to diminutive Kung Fu dervish Jackie Chan to put this Olympic Torch protest thing into perspective. Chan, who will be a torchbearer when the relay comes to Beijing next week, says that he will deal harshly with any miscreants who might try to grab the flame from his tiny, powerful mitts....
Carmelo Anthony Absolutely, Unequivocally Bombed Out Of His Mind, Say Cops
The latest reports out of Denver about the DUI arrest of the booze-addled, snitch-averse Carmelo Anthony say that the Nuggets' star's level of impairment was, according to investigating officers, "extreme."...
Celebrating Jackie Robinson Day With Canadian Highlights And Lou Gossett Jr.
When honoring the great Jackie Robinson and all he has meant to baseball, my first thought was the same as the Dodgers': Roll out Chaka Khan. What, no Rufus? Tell me something good .... Of course Lou Gossett Jr. was also there, so it made perfect sense. Look, I don't like the fact that Jackie Robins...
Satan Gives Lakers Power of Levitation, Western Conference Title
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who says, "The world is looking mighty good to me, because Tootsie Rolls are all I see. Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me." When he's not loving himself some candy that looks like forest animal droppings, you can find him reaping sou...
ESPN Nixes Bill Simmons-Barack Obama Podcast
If Bill Simmons seems grouchier in his MVP column today, or in his podcast later this week, you'll have to forgive him. He was scheduled to have Sen. Barack Obama as a guest, but, for reasons that haven't quite made themselves clear, ESPN canceled the appearance. Obama was all ready to go, but the n...
The NBA Playoff Guest List Is Ready. Guess Who's Not Invited?
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who don't want to work. He just want to bang on the drum all day. When he's not quoting obscure 80s lyrics, you can find him watching old episodes of The Smurfs at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Psyche! Part I. The game was over. The Sixers had won. In fact, the team...
How The West (And The MVP) Might Have Been Won
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks that a Lakers/Celtics Finals is starting to look like a seriously real possibility. When he's not dusting off his old "I Hate The Lakers" t-shirt, you can find him practicing his "Beat L.A." chant at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Getting Hyphy In Oakland
A couple of nights ago Denver beat Golden State to take full control over the last playoff spot in the Western Conference, but now things are wide open yet again. The Warriors got great performances out of all five of their starters in last night's win over the Clippers. Baron Davis and Stephen Jack...
Bryant Mercifully Leaves the Booth
Bryant Gumbel does excellent work for HBO Sports, but as a play-by-play announcer for the NFL Network he was terrible. Fortunately both parties came to terms with that fact, and we will no longer be subjected to any of his two-minute "mournings" or legendarily indecisive first down calls. Awful Anno...
The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...
Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.
Here's a pretty amusing video unearthed by the kids at Fan IQ, which features Max Kellerman, ex of just about every sports channel in every capacity, in his pre-WWL days doing his best 3rd Bass impersonation with his late brother Sam. (Sam, sadly, was viciously murdered back in '04. Gorgeous story ...
Epic Fail In Oakland (And Dirk Is A Space Monster!)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would do anything for love, but he won't do that. No, he won't do that. When he's not memorizing Meat Loaf lyrics, you can find him karaokeing them at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Hey Warriors...what's that on your face? I'll tell you. It's egg. And mud. And th...
The NBA Playoff Shakedown Continues...Airplane!-Style
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never get over Nacho Grande! When he's not quoting 80s comedies, you can find him flossing his teeth at Basketbawful. Enjoy! I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you. And the Suns' two big fellas came through. Amare Stoudem...
The More Things Change, The More Playoff Seedings Remain The Same
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would have to go back to Hakeem Olajuwon vs David Robinson to remember a time when a potential MVP was so abused by a non-MVP. Sorry, CP3. When he's not underestimating the heart of those championship Rockets, you can find him practicing his Dream Shake ...