ac Page 1196 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Finally, Massholes Have Something to Celebrate
As we wait for the Final Four to finally kick off on Saturday, the gang at Storming the Floor are amusing themselves with the championship-like substance contained in the NIT and CBI post-season tournaments....

The Playoff Hunt Continu ... Mmm, Nuggets Dancers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who wishes he could rest his starters for the rest of the regular season. When he's not trying to find some starters to rest, you can find him playing with creepy bobbleheads at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Peja Stojakovic is totally clutchtastic. His former Sacram...

Matt Leinart Should Just Grow Up Already
... So says annoyed Arizona Republic columnist Dan Bickley, who suggests that the Cardinals' quarterback of the present (and, "the future", allegedly) is just dancing a little bit too closely with Mr. Poonstone for his own taste. Bickley trots out every worst-case scenario Leinart should have consi...

It's April Fools In The NBA, Starring The Western Conference Playoff Race
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who just crumpled up his "Western Conference Playoff Position" spreadsheet and ate it. When he's not trying to make heads or tails of this crazy playoff race, you can find him running suicides at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

Soccer? Gay? Whaaaaat?
Leave it up to a foreigner to figure out why Americans are so down on soccer. This snippet culled from an editorial on football.uk.com written by Marty Mercado maps out all the reasons the U.S. ignores the sport: overcommercialization, not enough scoring, too multicultural, and, of course, because i...

The NBA Playoff Hunt Continues, Predator Style
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks you should go rent The Predator again. Immediately. Oh, and he also thinks you should read his stuff at Basketbawful. Enjoy! So you cooked up a story and dropped the six of us in the meat grindah! Michael Finley's shooting slump hit a low point l...

Matt Leinart Is Taking His Offseason Film Work Quite Seriously
Before we get into all the NCAA Tournament and Opening Day business, we thought we'd start your morning off with Matt Leinart doing his Matt Leinart thing. The Dirty has details of this whole evening, which included Nick Lachey, under-21 ladies and, of course, hot tubs....

About Last Night
What you missed while overdosing on Mad magazine fold-ins ... • College basketball: That girl from human resources who has pictures of her cat taped to her computer and picks all the favorites every year is leading your office pool. • NBA: Whoa, big traffic jam in the West; looks like you're gonna b...

At Last, A Scenario In Which The Wealthy Win
Don't pity early departing No. 2 seeds Georgetown or Duke, not that you would. Remember, their students come from money and are getting more of it, as evidenced by their Final Four placement in the Payscale bracket based on the median income of graduating students. Stanford claims the top spot, bein...

Um, Someone Tell The Italian Sausage That He's Doing It Wrong
Hey, they told me that there would be no food allowed on the ski lift. Thank you Home Run Derby, for making us laugh at costumed baseball mascots attempting winter sports once again....

Let The 'Texas Hold 'Em' Trial Begin!
Looking for something to watch when the NCAA Tournament is over? Hope your cable company offers Court TV, because the trial of the decade is about to begin; the case of the Oklahoma Sooners fan who ripped the scrotum of a Texas Longhorns fan in a bar fight. Nancy Grace is working herself into a lath...

Where...Crossdressing Mascots Happen?
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is seriously glad it's Friday. When he's not checking out NBA mascots - but only for laughs, not in "that way" - you can find him taking a siesta at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Mmmm, beefy. On a night in which the Denver Nuggets thrashed the Dallas Mavericks 1...

Your NL West "Preview"
Question: Anybody else buy the MLB Extra Innings package? They're eventually gonna update that schedule with games, right? Our cable system is still showing nothing ... and the season starts Monday, doggone it!...

David West Is An Assassin
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who gets some serious NBA overload on Wednesday nights. When he's trying to get the pick and roll out of his head, he can be found cracking corn at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Chris Paul made nicknaming history last night. Last night, Paul had the following to say...

The NBA Closer: Threat Or Menace?
The NBA Closer is written by J. Jonah Jameson, publisher and editor-in-chief of The Daily Bugle, New York's favorite newspaper since 1932. When he's not trying to rid the world of a certain wall-crawling menace, he can be found preparing his Pulitzer Prize speech at Basketbawful. Enjoy! San Antonio...

Pac Man Jones Played By Bad Party Planners
We reported earlier that the attached poster involved a party that Pac Man Jones was hosting. This was not, in fact, true. The club itself has even apologized, in an email to Pro Football Talk:...

Kobe Cries Tears Of Blood, Lakers Win
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who believes that only you can prevent forest fires. So the next time there's a forest fire, it's totally your fault. When he's not blaming you for nature's fiery blazes, he can be found fanning the flames of Basketbawful. Enjoy! And the Warriors went down ...

Source: Canseco Accuses A-Rod Of Steroid Abuse, Wife Coveting, In New Book
In the next week, you're going to see more of Jose Canseco that you likely have much desire to see. But Canseco has a new book coming out April 1, Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and the Battle to Save Baseball, coming out just in time for opening day and promising to, once again, blow the lid off...

Amazingly, No Perfect Brackets, On Earth
Well, we're sorry to say, for all those who have become tired of our ramblings over here, that we will remain editor of Deadspin; with just one weekend gone in the tournament, none of the 3,472 entries in our bracket contest has nailed every game. Alas; our offer will stand for next year as well....

It's Still Not As Dangerous As A Typical Eagles Game
Please bear with me if you've seen this before; any time I see something this large and angry go into the stands that isn't Ron Artest, I must post it. Three things of note here: 1. Love the three guys sitting under the little overhang in the middle there, safe from harm in the stadium's finest lux...