ac Page 1200 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pat Riley Feels Like A Mosquito In A Nudist Colony. Seriously
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who loves zombie movies and is really ticked off that Diary of the Dead came out in a limited release. Oh well. Hopefully World War Z will come out some time in the next year. Anyway, when he isn't obsessing over flesh-eating ghouls, he can be found feasting...
Humor Is Different In Australia, Apparently.
These two fellers are Central Coast Mariners, which is apparently an Australian Rules Football team. Shockingly, for Australians, they have somewhat, uh, a little trouble in the racial department. That guy on the right is in blackface. Really bad blackface, but blackface nevertheless. You think tha...
Isiah Thomas' Knicks Legacy, Summed Up In One Possession
You might have seen this already, but honestly: We've yet to see one play encapsulate a team's season more accurately than this Zach Randolph "possession" right here....
Where Five-Point First Quarters Happen
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks he could probably score five points in a quarter if he was in the NBA. Or...not. When he isn't suffering from delusions of grandeur, he can be found keeping it real at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Five points. Five points! There was a five-point first ...
Cleveland Fans Rejoice, Suns Fans Weep. For Today, Anyway.
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who blah, blah, blah-diddy-blah. Who cares, right? When he's not forcing you to read useless factoids about himself, he's doing it to a completely different set of readers at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Shaq has done the impossible. In only three short games, Th...
Russell Westbrook Gets Dirty On the Ducks
I still can't tell who was on the receiving end (thanks Nike), but I'm sure somebody has already started making fun of him....
What I Learned From the Combine
There's nothing quite like a sunny Sunday afternoon spent indoors at the computer while watching live coverage of the NFL Scouting Combine. I may not be off in football nerd heaven like FanHouse's MDS but I'm content with the high def broadcast accompanied by the dulcet tones of Rich Eisen and co. T...
About Last Night
What you missed while serving as a seat filler on Cleveland's bench... ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your dog is shampooed by aliens ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Richard "Four Eyes" Gutierrez vs. Jose "Wheezy" Varela, Fort Lauderdale (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College basketball: Davidson at Winthrop (7 p.m., ET). Free Gold Rush t-shirts to the first 1,000 fans tonight at the Coliseum!...
Obama Gets His Desmond Howard On
As some of you surely saw yesterday, presidential candidate Barack Obama visited Mack Brown and the Texas Longhorns yesterday. We think this picture is pretty awesome. We hope that this inevitably leads to Mitt Romney, when he runs again in four years, hanging out with Keith Van Horn....
Justice Is Blind, Which Accounts For All The Typos
Finally, Barry Bonds has discovered an airtight defense for his upcoming trial on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. Typos! Yep, Bonds' lawyers on Thursday contended that, because the government filed court papers on their client that had at least two typos, that Barry should walk free. Hey...
Media Approval Ratings: Billy Packer
We're getting awfully darned close now to the NCAA tournament business, which means one thing: The return of Billy Packer as the central force in our lives for a month. We know, we know, he broadcasts games throughout the regular season, but it's not until the Tournament that he takes over the voice...
Take Our Mistake, And Make It Yours
Because we attended school (occasionally) at the University of Illinois, most of our old friends are fans of the Chicago Bulls, and it's difficult to overstate how excited they were when they initially signed Ben Wallace. It felt vindicating, the reward for waiting for the first post-Jordan star. T...
Do Not Light A Match Around Manu Ginobili Right Now
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who really wishes that TNT didn't schedule the Thursday night games so far in advance. When not falling asleep during Heat/Rockets games, he can be found blowing off steam at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Flame on! After watching Manu Ginobili score 44 points an...
Let's See Dee Mirich Write A Poem About THIS
I've lived my entire adult life by one simple rule: Never go streaking at the horse races. The comparisons are not flattering, let me tell you....
Phoenix Suns Reveal First Attempts To Clone Shaq
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would use the power of Mighty Science to clone the pet turtle who died when he was 12, and probably Lynda Carter. When he's not fantasizing about a harem of Wonder Woman clones, he can be found manipulating DNA at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • You know, it's a...
NBA All-Star Hangover: Featuring Real Quotes From Real Drunks!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's spent a night here and there praying to The Porcelain God. When he's not sailing the seas with Captain Morgan, he can be found getting intoxicated by the NBA at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • What? Don't try to act like none of you have ever gotten drunk and ...
Other Than That, How Was The Race, Mrs. Lincoln?
New weekend editor Christmas Ape tried out to be one of the guys who run the Presidents Races at Washington Nationals games. Here's how it went....
Like A Botox-Infused Ether Binge... Now With T.O.!
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm headed to New Orleans for the All-Star madness last weekend. Well, actually, he was there for the Celebrity Game and the D-League All-Star Games. Over the next two days, we'll be telling his tales. Today: The Celebrity Game....