ac Page 1209 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Wizards Can't Feel Their Faces
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or eating slow-smoked ribs and beef briskets, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Knicks Keep On Falling ...
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or trying to find Schenectady, NY on a map, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Michael Schumacher Has To Get To The Airport STAT
What do you do if you're Michael Schumacher and you have to get your wife, kids and new puppy to the airport by taxi, and you're late? You push the cabbie aside and do the driving yourself, of course. Hey, it's Germany; Formula One veterans are driving all the cabs....
Introducing The ESPN Accountability Record
In the wake of Le Anne Schreiber's dead-on column this week, we got to thinking about ESPN's much-ballyhooed Corrections Page. Remember that? How it was going to be a regular documentation of all ESPN mistakes, standing accountable? Well, it hasn't quite turned out that way....
We Congratulate "Florida Quarterback" On His Heisman Trophy
One of the nice things about college athletes is that you don't have to pay them. Heck, it might be the best thing about college athletes. Seriously, look at them: They can put their bodies and lives on the line every week, and we don't have to give 'em nothin'. Amazing, right? And if they do really...
Greatest 'NBA Closer' In The History Of Western Civilization!
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jo— Shut it down, little man. Shut it DOWN! What a pathetic performance by this sad human being. This guy is a disgrace to the game of basketball a...
Heat Check, Heat Rising, Etc., Etc.
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
This Joke Was Funnier Five Minutes Ago
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Everything Can Change In A Blink
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....
When Life Imitates Art
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
No Isiah, They Aren't Saying Boo-urns
It's not easy making the Philadelphia 76ers look good, but Isiah's Knicks do it with aplomb. I don't want to say that New York's starters aren't any good, but seeing as how they combined to score 25 points my hands are tied. New York's starters fucking suck (but Q's cool). Nate "Awww" Robinson manag...
Plucky Wizards Can't Hang With the Suns
The Washington Wizards have played better than expected since the loss of Gilbert Arenas, but there wasn't much of anything they could do to stop Phoenix. The Suns recorded a flat-out ridiculous 42 assists on their 50 field goals. If I hadn't been there to see it I'm not sure I would have believed i...
Which Sports-Related Person Would Engage In A 2Girls1Cup-Type Video?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next five Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FIVE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....
Kurt Warner's Little Ball Friends
You might think of Kurt Warner as the slightly washed-up Buzzsaw quarterback with small hands and the crazy wife. But in the Christian community, Warner is an example of all that's right with the world. And now he's branching out into acting....
He Seems To Have Thought Of Everything: How In The World Did This Not Work?
So this guy robs a bank, and during his getaway he stops at a salon about a block away for hair extensions and a manicure (by now you've guessed that this occurred in Florida). But that's not the best part. The loot he stole was booby trapped, and during his escape it exploded, covering him in red d...
The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Micah Owings Might Go Both Ways
One of the stars of the Diamondbacks' improbable 2007 season was Micah Owings, the pitcher who could hit better than almost everybody else in Arizona's lineup. In the offseason, teams look for every advantage they can find, to fill every hole. The D-Backs are getting creative; they're thinking of pu...
All For Naught
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Huzzah!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you finally achieve peace of mind ... • College basketball: Syracuse at Virginia; West Virginia vs. Auburn, at Birmingham, Ala. I'll bring the soy sauce. [ESPN2] • College basketball: Georgetown vs. Alabama, at Birmingham, Ala. Hope the hush puppies vendor gets here soon. [ESPN] • N...
Turn Your Atrophy Into Profit
Even when our team is in the Rose Bowl, every 24 years or so, we don't spent much time on New Years Day, you know, moving. But we can't possibly approach the competition going on at the Chicago and New York ESPN Zones this New Years....