ac Page 1215 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Grow, Hooves, Grow!
As we approach the biggest horse racing event of the year, the question hangs in the air: Which horse will suffer a fatal injury on the track, inspiring new innovations in interpretive dance? We're going with "Tiago."...
That's All We Needed Was MORE Paris Hilton Jokes
So that Peyton Manning on SNL appearance that we all liked a little more than we were expecting? Well, turns out the main reason Matt Leinart fired his agents last week is because that wasn't him on the show....
Look, There Was Another Game On Thursday Night
Lest we forget, in all the Warriors hub-bub, that another series took a fun turn last night, with the Jazz tying the Rockets 3-3 with a 94-82 win in Utah. The key Jazz star was Andrei Kirilenko, who shined late despite, you know, crying like a little girl earlier this series because he wasn't gettin...
Tracy McGrady Lets His Boys Breathe
If you ever wondered how Tracy McGrady would do in a sheep-tossing contest, this new commercial for some Vitamin Water thing finally provides you with an answer. It's not every day you see an NBA superstar in a kilt....
Pac Man Would Like His Job Again Please
For all the big apology full-page newspaper ads he has placed, Pac Man Jones isn't quite ready to give up the ghost just yet: He's appealing his year-long suspension to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell....
Tracy McGrady Has His Alpha Dog Night
In the last three days, Dwyane Wade, Dwight Howard and, uh, Antawn Jamison have been swept out of the playoffs, and Kobe Bryant, Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson don't seem too far behind. (And don't get us started on Dirk.) The superstars are off to slow playoff starts, so it's encoura...
Under Armor Employees Like Being On TV
A few days ago, they had "Under Armor" day at Camden Yards, where a gaggle of Under Armor employees showed up to, we dunno, make grown men realize how they're too out of shape to possibly buy their products. One of their employees apparently had a bit too much to drink, and when he showed up on live...
You Can't Stop Barbaro, You Can Only Hope To Put Him Down
Expect, in the next week, Madison Square Garden to be haunted by the ghost of a rather pissed Barbaro; the overtime in the Rangers-Sabres game yesterday caused the Barbaro documentary to be postponed and rescheduled for the vastly unworthy CNBC this Friday. Jeez, why don't you just put the damned th...
Introducing The Comment Ombudsman
We are extremely proud to have the most dynamic, electric, SUPER HAPPY FUN OUTSTANDING comment section on this here Internets; you guys provide about 76 percent of our daily entertainment, with the rest filled in by re-reading Andy Rooney books, Cardinals DVDs and listening to old Woody Allen comedy...
Our Draft Coverage Concludes, Quinn-Less
With the 21st pick of the NFL Draft, the Jacksonville Jaguars select Reggie Nelson, S, Florida. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Justin Harrell Is Not A Toy That Favre Can Play With
With the 16th pick of the NFL Draft, the Green Bay Packers select Justin Harrell, DT, Tennessee. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
A Blocker Named Brown For The Buzzsaw
With the 5th pick of the NFL Draft, the Buzzsaw Select Levi Brown, OL Penn State. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Time For 12 Hours Of Names Being Read Aloud!
We will never forget last year's NFL Draft, when poor Matt Leinart suddenly realized he'd been drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. We look forward to a similar reaction from Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas tomorrow, who might just jump off his fishing boat and try to drown h...
What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
As The Old Joke Goes, She's Out With A Womb
Considering we don't, you know, pay all the collegiate athletes who bring in so much money for their universities, an athletic scholarship is the holy grail, the precious, the one benefit to spending so much time training and sweating. So one can't lose it, lest the whole matter go to waste....
Ian Eagle, DANCE OFF
When NBA TV cut back a little early to Ian Eagle and Dr. Jack Ramsay during the Wizards-Cavaliers game yesterday, they caught Eagle, clearly lacking conversation from Dr. Jack, making sure to give himself up to the commercial break dance party....
Seriously, Arkansas Fans Are Insane
We're not sure the true historic nature of what's going on at the University of Arkansas is being adequately appreciated. Basically, a bunch of ticked-off message board fans are doing everything they can to take down the athletic department of their university ... and they're doing a damned good job...
The Orioles Get Their Mike Cooper And Carl Monday On
So the Orioles — yes, the Orioles — are off to a blistering start in the American League East, and the explanation can not be found in Leo Mazzone or Erik Bedard. It's in the mustache!...
Roger Goodell Is Judge, Jury And Executioner
Sure, we all laughed when Pac Man Jones was suspended by the NFL for a year, because it's Pac Man Jones, and everything Pac Man Jones does is funny. But CBS Sportsline's Clay Travis points out that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was positively Orwellian in his sentence. After all, Pac Man is essenti...
OK, Get Up, Walk It Off
We don't mean to imply that maybe four-year-olds shouldn't be on the field during college football scrimmages ... but yipes....