ac Page 1225 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Knew We Were Lame For Letting People With Tees Into Our Birthday Parties
All told, we realize now that our Sunday evening was rather sedate. (Chocolate milk, Fig Newtons and Diner Dash, now that you asked.)...
So This Horse Walks Into A Bar ...
"So yeah, then all these people start sending me letters. Crazy shit, too, like Bible verses, and poems. Like I can read poems ... I'm a horse, ferchristsakes. And now the vets are back putting me into this sling, and I'm twirling around above a tub of water like a goddamned circus sideshow. If th...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Indiana Pacers
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. Let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team. Today we continue with the Central Division, so do us a favor and send us your tips at [email protected]....
The Will Leitch Suicide Watch
If it's true that Will's got a bad feeling about the upcoming sports weekend, it's probably best that we monitor things, given the events of this past week. I mean, athletes are role models, and you never know how much influence a star wide receiver can have over an impressionable young blogger. N...
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
We mentioned this briefly the other day, but we figure it probably deserves its own post....
"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...
As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...
Sir, I Strongly Protest Your Driving Habits
We're sure you've seen this, but we kind of had to bring it up anyway. If you're like us, you can't be pulled away from the television with a herd of wild ponies during an ARCA stock car race.* One reason is that these guys are always grapplin', and they aren't just your everyday tussles like you se...
You Know What's Funny? She's Actually The Swimming Judge
Life as a judge in the javelin toss ain't so easy ... there is, for example, the whole issue of being hit with a javelin....
Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...
New Looks For D-Backs, Reds
What to do if your team struggles late and is unable to sneak into the playoffs after a somewhat surprising season? Change your logo, of coruse....
Jason Whitlock Leaves ESPN With Guns Ablaze
Now that columnist Jason Whitlock has officially written his final column for ESPN Page 2, he is perhaps a bit more free to speak his mind; the kids at AOL Sports, his new online employer, tend to have a thicker skin on such matters....
Zach Randolph Has Miserable Sex Shows
So if you're not up on all the details of the Zach Randolph sexual assault case, The Oregonian has the brutal details of the case (in PDF form) — for which Randolph will not be charged; prosecutors said they couldn't find enough evidence that the sex wasn't consensual — and it's anything but pleas...
Look Inside Big Ben. WAY Inside
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger made his return from an appendectomy — and, ostensibly, from that little head-vs.-pavement business — last night, and it didn't go well, with the Jaguars shutting out Big Ben and the Steelers 9-0 on Monday night. It was the lowest scoring game in Monday Night ...
For Walsh's Opponents, The End Is Near
If Anna Kournikova would like to get back into competitive sports, may we suggest the Association of Volleyball Professionals Tour? That's beach volleyball, in case you didn't know; two-person teams square off on a 15-event circuit with stops from New York to California. But that's not important r...
That's Never Been MY Experience
Do me a favor. Click this link, check out the headline, then come back. I'll wait....
Dr. Z Hangs Out With Swimsuit Models
We know, we know: The unconditional love for SI scribe Rick Reilly's "Riffs Of Reilly" segment — sample comedic genius moment: "USC's quarterback is John David Booty and Texas' is Colt McCoy. Hey, weren't both those guys on 'Gunsmoke?'" Oh, Rick, you slay us! — makes you think that SI.com must be so...
Now, Now, We're Sure Irvin Has Close To The Right Number Of Chromosomes
So that whole Tom Jackson calling Michael Irvin a "retard" thing from yesterday? Absolutely true, absolutely happened, and here's video, via Dejuiced....
Eventually, It Will Just Be A Graphic Below Irvin's Name
So we haven't actually seen this, so we need someone to confirm it for us, preferably with video. Let that be our disclaimer prologue....
The Fast And The Furryous
If you sat through more than one college football game on Saturday, then obviously you forgot that this past weekend was also the opening of hamster ball racing season. PETCO sponsored races at nearly all of its 800 stores in the U.S. on Saturday, which they called the Hamster Ball Derby. Accordin...